getting baby to sleep

e1234

Tue, Feb 03 2009, 6:54 am

ok I posted this before - but I really need advice. I've done this with all my kids and I don't want to continue like this.
my baby (almost 6 months) sleeps in my bed - he usually starts in the stroller (I bought a crib but put it away as he lasted in it for not more then a minute each time)
He will sleep in his stroller anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours and then he's in my bed for the night.
Now I'm sick with strep so last night - I was really not feeling well - I went to sleep early and before I went to sleep my husband gave my baby a full bottle (more then he should have at that age) so that we know he ate well) - he drank the whole thing and went to sleep. 2 hours later he was up and I tried rocking him and anything to keep him in the stroller rather then in my bed where I was shivering with fever....
it didn't work - I ended up taking him in my bed and he used me as his pacifier for the rest of the night....

what can I do????????? He could not have been starving.

gryp

Tue, Feb 03 2009, 10:29 am

Your baby's in cahoots with mine. Smile

Refuah Shleima.

BeershevaBubby

Tue, Feb 03 2009, 10:32 am

You need to seriously sleep train your child to sleep in his crib. I would recommend you leave things as-is until you get better, but afterward... be prepared for some sleepless nights but if you want him out of your bed (and he really needs to be out of the carriage too) you need to suck it up.

e1234

Tue, Feb 03 2009, 11:03 am

yesha do you mean by making him cry it out??
I dont' know -it doesn't work for me and it's not fair to the rest of the house

BeershevaBubby

Tue, Feb 03 2009, 11:12 am

No, there are other sleep training methods you can try. CIO never worked for me so I looked for alternatives...

gryp

Tue, Feb 03 2009, 11:21 am

My baby thinks he owns me from 7:00 PM to 7 AM. CIO makes him more stubborn, more upset, and more awake. I just kind of play along until he's a bit older, 5 more months to go IYH.

e1234

Tue, Feb 03 2009, 11:35 am

what's CIO and what alternatives.
I guess I already did almost 6 months so I can do another 6 months - but it's really wearing me out.

BeershevaBubby

Tue, Feb 03 2009, 12:13 pm

I sat with him in his room and held/nursed him until he was mostly asleep then put him into his crib. I also introduced him to the pacifier, which he took...

e1234

Tue, Feb 03 2009, 1:46 pm

Quote:

I sat with him in his room and held/nursed him until he was mostly asleep then put him into his crib. I also introduced him to the pacifier, which he took...

I can do that but he'll only stay asleep say half an hour and then wake up again.. and then what? again nurse him and put him back all night?? in that case I'd rather jsut keep him in my bed.

BeershevaBubby

Tue, Feb 03 2009, 3:34 pm

e1234 wrote:

Quote:

I sat with him in his room and held/nursed him until he was mostly asleep then put him into his crib. I also introduced him to the pacifier, which he took...

I can do that but he'll only stay asleep say half an hour and then wake up again.. and then what? again nurse him and put him back all night?? in that case I'd rather jsut keep him in my bed.

Why is he waking up? I would let him cry for a minute or so then go in, give him his pacifier and pat his back. Then leave. Or hold him for a few minutes then put him back....

Seraph

Tue, Feb 03 2009, 3:40 pm

e1234 wrote:

Quote:

I sat with him in his room and held/nursed him until he was mostly asleep then put him into his crib. I also introduced him to the pacifier, which he took...

I can do that but he'll only stay asleep say half an hour and then wake up again.. and then what? again nurse him and put him back all night?? in that case I'd rather jsut keep him in my bed.

My son was doing that as well. At a year old. Every 30 minutes waking up. Which is what finally made me decide to let him cry it out. it took 3 hours the first night, an hour the second, 5 minutes the third, and eventually he started sleeping for longer streches- first 2 hours, then up to 4, and then occasionally even 6 or 7 hours. (Teething wrecked that now.)
Also, I found that if my husband went to put my son back to sleep, he ended up being less demanding to nurse, and eventually figured out how to go back to sleep without nursing... because I less minded nursing to sleep, than I minded nursing every 30 minutes...

Seraph

Tue, Feb 03 2009, 3:43 pm

e1234 wrote:

yesha do you mean by making him cry it out??
I dont' know -it doesn't work for me and it's not fair to the rest of the house

I'm just curious, what do you mean, it doesnt work for you?
Does your son go to sleep much later than the rest of your kids? Can you put him to sleep earlier and let him cry it out before the other kids go to sleep?
If your house isnt big enough for him to be in a different room from the kids, can you put the crib in your room and let him cry it out there with a shut door so he doesnt keep the other kids awake in another room?

Last edited by Seraph on Tue, Feb 03 2009, 3:45 pm; edited 1 time in total

BeershevaBubby

Tue, Feb 03 2009, 3:44 pm

Ok, before people start bashing the CIO method, I would just like to clarify something very important.

It is NOT about a baby being hungry, dirty/wet or sick. It is about a child and parent(s) who have gotten into a certain habit of falling/going to sleep that is not working any more and needs to be changed. It is not about abandoning the child or abusing the child.

And IMO, if a kid ends up in therapy years later, it's not because mommy 'made me' cry for an hour.

gryp

Tue, Feb 03 2009, 3:54 pm

Some babies just don't go back to sleep. I've finally convinced mine that if he's put to bed at 8 PM (just an example) and wakes up at 8:30, he should go back to sleep until morning. He's agreed, but only if I hold him.

devorahh

Tue, Feb 03 2009, 4:07 pm

Im not bashing anyone who lets their baby cio, my baby is very demanding and I understand. I just can't do it and have heard that it may be harmfull.

Science tells us that when babies cry alone and unattended, they experience panic and anxiety. Their bodies and brains are flooded with adrenaline and cortisol stress hormones. Science has also found that when developing brain tissue is exposed to these hormones for prolonged periods these nerves won’t form connections to other nerves and will degenerate. Is it therefore possible that infants who endure many nights or weeks of crying-it-out alone are actually suffering harmful neurologic effects that may have permanent implications on the development of sections of their brain? Here is how science answers this alarming question:

Chemical and hormonal imbalances in the brain
Research has shown that infants who are routinely separated from parents in a stressful way have abnormally high levels of the stress hormone cortisol, as well as lower growth hormone levels. These imbalances inhibit the development of nerve tissue in the brain, suppress growth, and depress the immune system. 5, 9, 11, 16

Researchers at Yale University and Harvard Medical School found that intense stress early in life can alter the brain’s neurotransmitter systems and cause structural and functional changes in regions of the brain similar to those seen in adults with depression. 17

One study showed infants who experienced persistent crying episodes were 10 times more likely to have ADHD as a child, along with poor school performance and antisocial behavior. The researchers concluded these findings may be due to the lack of responsive attitude of the parents toward their babies. 14.

Dr. Bruce Perry’s research at Baylor University may explain this finding. He found when chronic stress over-stimulates an infant’s brain stem (the part of the brain that controls adrenaline release), and the portions of the brain that thrive on physical and emotional input are neglected (such as when a baby is repeatedly left to cry alone), the child will grow up with an over-active adrenaline system. Such a child will display increased aggression, impulsivity, and violence later in life because the brainstem floods the body with adrenaline and other stress hormones at inappropriate and frequent times. 6

Dr. Allan Schore of the UCLA School of Medicine has demonstrated that the stress hormone cortisol (which floods the brain during intense crying and other stressful events) actually destroys nerve connections in critical portions of an infant’s developing brain. In addition, when the portions of the brain responsible for attachment and emotional control are not stimulated during infancy (as may occur when a baby is repeatedly neglected) these sections of the brain will not develop. The result – a violent, impulsive, emotionally unattached child. He concludes that the sensitivity and responsiveness of a parent stimulates and shapes the nerve connections in key sections of the brain responsible for attachment and emotional well-being. 7, 8

Decreased intellectual, emotional, and social development
Infant developmental specialist Dr. Michael Lewis presented research findings at an American Academy of Pediatrics meeting, concluding that “the single most important influence of a child’s intellectual development is the responsiveness of the mother to the cues of her baby.”

Researchers have found babies whose cries are usually ignored will not develop healthy intellectual and social skills. 19

Dr. Rao and colleagues at the National Institutes of Health showed that infants with prolonged crying (but not due to colic) in the first 3 months of life had an average IQ 9 points lower at 5 years of age. They also showed poor fine motor development. (2)

Researchers at Pennsylvania State and Arizona State Universities found that infants with excessive crying during the early months showed more difficulty controlling their emotions and became even fussier when parents tried to consol them at 10 months. 15

Other research has shown that these babies have a more annoying quality to their cry, are more clingy during the day, and take longer to become independent as children 1.

Harmful physiologic changes
Animal and human research has shown when separated from parents, infants and children show unstable temperatures, heart arrhythmias, and decreased REM sleep (the stage of sleep that promotes brain development). 10 12, 13

Seraph

Tue, Feb 03 2009, 4:16 pm

Crying it out at 2 or 3 months is quite different from 6 months or 12 mos or 18 mos. By that point, baby already learned mommy responds to his crying.
Also, excessive crying? When sleep training, its rarely more than a couple of days of excessive crying. And the few minutes of crying after that that generally comes before sleep is just that- a few minutes. Are you to tell me that any parent is able to raise children without them ever crying for a few minutes? children that never cry because their parents always tend to their every whim will grow up being very spoiled and self centered. (I'm not talking about newborns. I'm talking about older kids. like a year old. if you give in every time he cries, he learns to manipulate you.)
And maybe this connection between ADD and CIO is that the kids who are giving their parents sleep issues (and hence they chose the cio method) are the same hyperactive kids who will be diagnosed with add/adhd at an older age. And that the two- cio and ADD are symptoms of the same thing, and not one being a symptom of the other.

gryp

Tue, Feb 03 2009, 4:34 pm

All of my kids gave me sleep trouble, it's a fact of life as a mother. Nothing to do with ADD.