Hosting someone else's drunk guest!?!?

amother

Tue, Mar 10 2009, 9:12 pm

Two families we are friends with hosted a joint Purim Seudah. They invited a bunch of out-of-town bochurim to the seudah. The husbands and the bochurim got REALLY drunk. Now they want to continue the festivities over at a local yeshiva. DH just got a call that one of the bochurim is throwing up all over and to drunk to go to the yeshiva. They wanted to let the guy crash here because he can't go there sick. We said no way! Why should we be "Hotel Drunk",leaving me to have to clean up after someone's guest! Do you think we were right to say no? I think it's the family who gave him all the drinks responsibity to take care of the guy, not ours!

Mimisinger

Tue, Mar 10 2009, 9:32 pm

If the bochur is an adult - 18+ leave him be and he can sleep it off on the sidewalk. Under 18? Get angry at the other hosts for corrupting children....I'm not sure where the 21 drinking age fits into my argument though...

greenfire

Tue, Mar 10 2009, 10:24 pm

it's a hard call ... imagine if he is your son - you want someone to take care of him ...
on the other hand kids who drink to get drunk like a skunk get what they ask for - and he certainly shouldn't go anywhere else where the booze is readily available like yeshiva ...

remember though booze to the wrong person can be more than a lot of vomit Puke

... it can be toxic

Barbara

Tue, Mar 10 2009, 10:44 pm

greenfire wrote:

... it can be toxic

I agree that *someone* should look after him. I don't care if he's 15, 18, 21 or 51; sleeping it off on the street is dangerous (& I suppose could potentially lead to him being arrested). The question really is *who* I'm not sure why the OP -- who didn't invite him, didn't host the seuda, didn't offer him liquor, and didn't host him -- should be the person. OTOH, it would surely be a mitzvah to do so.

greenfire

Tue, Mar 10 2009, 10:58 pm

I beg to differ ... while 21 might not legally be a kid - any drunk person needs mothering of sorts ... again if it is your child - you would pray somebody steps up to the plate in your absence ...

amother

Tue, Mar 10 2009, 11:11 pm

greenfire wrote:

I beg to differ ... while 21 might not legally be a kid - any drunk person needs mothering of sorts ... again if it is your child - you would pray somebody steps up to the plate in your absence ...

OP here: That's fine if he needs someone to take of him. However, dh and I feel the family he stayed by should take responsibilty fo their drunk guest. They gave him the drinks. The husband should simply miss out on going to the yeshiva festivities if his wife is uncomfortable having him in the house with her. If it were my kid, I would expect that the family he ate with, would take care of him properly if he was not feeling well from all the drinking. The wife is perfectly capable of "mothering" her guest.

Strawberry

Wed, Mar 11 2009, 2:51 am

I can only speak for the past since our purim seuda is tonight. Last year we had lots of yeshiva guys over. We do have some wine on the table but most guys come drunk and bring their own bottle or 2. I refuse to have guys throwing up in my house. I do not know their names and would not recognize them in the street. Why should I care for them while they throw up all over my apartment? If someone is getting too high/drunk I tell dh to take the wine off the table (or at least away from that guy). Last year I sent a guy to his dira when it looked like he was going to be sick. Someone escorted him to his bed and that was that. I do not feel that it is my responsibility to care for drunken guys. (I wont leave them in the street but no they cant stay in my home.)

Btw- we just have an open house kind of seuda. No one is invited and accepts the invitation. I (I have no idea if 0 or 30 guys are coming tonight but I am guessing 20.)

drumjj

Wed, Mar 11 2009, 5:26 am

I would have also said absolutely no I dont let drunk guys in my house at all. gross. dont feel bad for saying no its not ur fault he was totally drunk

shalhevet

Wed, Mar 11 2009, 5:55 am

amother wrote:

greenfire wrote:

I beg to differ ... while 21 might not legally be a kid - any drunk person needs mothering of sorts ... again if it is your child - you would pray somebody steps up to the plate in your absence ...

I think you are absolutely right.