Morah covers her mouth when she cries??!!

Mini Cookie

Thu, Feb 19 2009, 9:41 pm

So DD has been at this playgroup since Sept. I'm basically happy, though they never share anything with me, meaning cute things she does or just anything a mommys heart likes to hear... I just drop her off & pick her up & get the same "good morning" & "bye! bye" from both morahs EVERY DAY. But I just figure that as long as shes happy there (goes happy & talks about all the things she learned & did there) I should just let it go.

The past week she started making a fuss about going. She weeps from the moment I start dressing her "nooooo playgroup! no playgroup" & cries when I drop her off.

Today she came home & keeps on saying "boo boo mouth" "I crying" Morah boo boo mouth" & shows me that THE MORAH COVERS HER MOUTH WHEN SHE CRIES. I'm shocked! I just dont know what to do! I cant confront the morahs cuz I havent witnessed them mistreating her. Her language is pretty ok so I really think thats what she means. She also said "Morah says STOP CRYING" while she wags her little finger to me.

ANY ADVICE PLEASE?????

JuliaB

Thu, Feb 19 2009, 9:58 pm

I can't tell you what to do, but if it were me, I would ask the morah directly about it (ie., my DD says you cover her mouth when she cries, can you tell me a little bit more about what was going on?). I would try to get the most accurate description of the situation because it is possible it is something different then what you think. Ultimatley, if I had any doubt about the way she is being treated, I would pull her out.

Good luck, these things are scary. It is good your DD can talk.

anon

Thu, Feb 19 2009, 10:02 pm

Try to confirm what is going on wtih teacher, but I would certainly pull her out if I suspected any form of mistreatment. And in general, I would take it VERY seriously if my child started crying from the moment I got her dressed because she didn't want to go to playgroup. Don't keep her there if she isn't happy.

AlwaysGrateful

Thu, Feb 19 2009, 10:06 pm

Please talk to the Morah without drawing any conclusions. And don't go in there accusing her yet either! It must feel horrible to think something like this is going on. At the same time, you could be misunderstanding your daughter, she could be misunderstanding the Morah, etc...

Here are some random scenarios that may be true. I'm not saying one of these things are true, I'm just saying that it's a really good idea to talk non-accusingly to the morah before drawing any conclusions:

-Dd fell down and hurt her mouth. The morah held her, with her hand stroking her mouth (or "over" her mouth) and told her to stop crying.
-Dd is upset at something else in the playgroup (another child? hitting her in the mouth?). She cries about it, Morah says it's okay, stop crying. Dd is upset, feels that morah doesn't understand and is upset at her (so when she tells it over to you, she wags her finger).

I'm sure there are other possibilities. I hope this is the case. Obviously, if you have any doubts after talking to the Morah, definitely don't keep her there...but it's really important to go in with an open mind. Hard to do with your daughter's happiness at stake, hm?

dillie

Thu, Feb 19 2009, 10:36 pm

I'm torn- on the one hand, okay, obviously you need to give the morahs the benefit of the doubt before assuming they are abusive ch"v.
however, if it were my kid, she would be OUT of there asap. she can't really tell you what's going on because she's too young. even if you talk to the morah and you're 99% sure everything is okay, it's going to kill you dropping her off there every day for the rest of the year, because of that 1%.
sorry, but I'd find another playgroup asap. lots of places take new kids during the year.

Mini Cookie

Sun, Feb 22 2009, 12:54 am

I hear you dillie but thats easier said than done. I cant afford that change now cause im in my 8th & DD will be going through enough changes now with a sibling...I'm soooooo torn apart! I know the morah personally & she there all day with a sweet & kindhearted assistant its just hard for me to believe that the morah would do anything like that especially with an assistant around on the other hand...in this sick world today one jsut doesnt know!

I can't figure out why she was happy till now & is suddenly hating to go to playgroup, she does mention one kids name a lot that, that kid doesnt want to play with her but I don't think that would really make her hate to go!

She has gone through 2 significant changes here at home in the past 2 months (sleeping in a crib as opposed to my bed & weaned nursing at 26 months old!) although I do believe that these things can make any child insecure its hard for me to believe it on her cause Ive done it in the most devoted, loving & subtle way and have been giving her loads of love & cuddles & hugs instead!

Help me im so torn apart! Crying

greenfire

Sun, Feb 22 2009, 12:58 am

did you speak to the morah yet ... that's where you should start to clear the air ... tell her dd has been crying and you are very concerned ... feel her out and see what she says ... say she is saying odd things - not happy with another kids ... continue to ask if it's possible that someone covered her mouth while she was crying ... take it from there ...

oh and those are 2 huge changes in her life that would make her cry ... not to mention the 3rd being soon with baby ...

your first obligation is making sure she is okay - not what is convenient for you ... sorry I know it's tough ...

Tefila

Sun, Feb 22 2009, 1:09 am

Quote:

I just drop her off & pick her up & get the same "good morning" & "bye! bye" from both morahs EVERY DAY

If I were you I would find a way to come earlier unexpected and check her out. I know I would it does send a red flag to me but you cannot confront a teacher unless you know what you are confronting her with. So though it ma not be conveniant check it out by going into her classroom etc.

Mini Cookie

Sun, Feb 22 2009, 1:44 am

thanks greenfire & tefila & all others! I will try to speak to the morah on Monday by popping in 15 min earlier than usual. I feel so bad that she is so kvetchy about going it doesnt let me sit at work peacefully (though they tell me she calms down quickly the morah did mention to me that shes crankier than ever & cries for every little thing). I'm so sad & frustrated I wish things would be simpler! My focus was & is always to raise a happy kid I cant stand to see this happening to her. I cant stand to think that shell get so affected by every change in her/our life.

718

Thu, Feb 26 2009, 12:50 pm

You should be feeling for your child, I was horrified when I read this post. I would tell the Morah that this child cryes when dropped off, was saying that you covered mouth while crying... Be upfront with her and see what she says.

I agree with greenfire- I would let everyone else know about this if its really going on. Ridiculous.

Mini Cookie

Tue, Mar 03 2009, 3:36 pm

So I came in earlier than usual one day & asked her very open (thanks to your advice). I started off by asking her if there is any child that is not getting along with DD. She did tell me there is one kid that is very aggressive (pulls other kids hair...) I told her that DD keeps on saying that when she cries MOrah covers her mouth is there any reason why she would be saying that...She seemed innocent & said she'll look after her & make sure that no one does that to her.

mommyofY

Wed, Mar 11 2009, 11:23 am

TRUST YOUR CHILD, she is obviosuly reacting to something by not wanting to go. Speak to the teacher immediately and take her out if you suspect ANYTHING!! If you feel like something is wrong, you are probably right...a mother knows these things. Also, I dont knwo how exactly to go about it, but speak to other mothers that send to that plygroup too, if you feel smething is worng!