I'm extremely disappointed in our system

ectomorph

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 8:51 pm

amother Papaya wrote:

Can I ask you a serious question.
What would your Chabad school do is 350 kids applied to the 1st grade in one year?
Would they accept everyone?

Knowing the school, they'd be thrilled and somehow figure out an additional building and teachers within like three weeks. I can't figure out how they do what they do. I don't have easy kids, and we are not at all chabad, very yeshivish, but Hashem has His plans.

Happy to tell anyone the name of the school via PM.

The only downside is that my kids come home wanting to be chabad, but they're still very little, and hopefully they'll grow into good yeshivish misnagdim like their parents.

amother

Yolk

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 9:04 pm

ectomorph wrote:

Allegations like this shouldn't be posted as amother. I have plenty of friends and we talk about this stuff and this is way beyond the pale

wishful thinking....
my daughter sat home for quiet a while before we found pull and miraculously got into school.
Unfortunatly for us although a very good school and very hard to get into these days, It's not so ideal for us type and hashkafa wise. My daughter's self esteem is completely shot. She is embarrased to be the different, frumer, etc I can see her going in a wrong direction faster than I can see her influencing s whole classof girls
It hurts so much that it all boils down to space = money....
I don't think its the principals who are at fault but the community at large...
Drive around Lakewood's Beverly Hills, Last 5 weddings I went the chuppa's were literally concerts. The hachnosos sefer torah's to shuls that fon't even have place for another torah in the aron kodosh and it goes on and on....
and yea, the lakewood adirei torah events while there's no money=space for a poor innocent neshama in school.
as long as we support this and give kovod to these spendings
I'm afraid we all will have alot answer to.
Hope this thread doesn't end here...
I believe each and everyone from simple me to the big roshei yeshiva is guilty...
I joined along complimenting on the group chat about the special wedding or the over the top hachnoses sefer torah .. all the while a girl in the community was red faced because she wasn't placed in a high school...

Hashem_Yaazor

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 9:35 pm

I live in an alternate reality than other posters here but what I see happening on imamother:

1. Tuition is too high and no one can pay full, especially since it's going to greedy administrators and covering tuition is others, so why should I be the fool to stretch myself thin and pay my part?

2. Fundraisers are sooooo annoying and it's too many already with all these schools fundraising and anyway 49% goes to the person running the campaign so it's not really tzedaka, right?

3. Teachers are underpaid and their salaries should be raised

4. There's not enough space to take in everyone, that needs to be solved

Well thoughts 1 and 2 make 3 and 4 pretty insurmountable (where 3 and 4 are actually reality and 1 and 2 are clueless opinions).

amother

Yolk

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 10:18 pm

amother Yolk wrote:

no one has anything to add??

amother

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 10:31 pm

amother Wheat wrote:

OP, schools don’t just exist. There is no such thing as spontaneous generation. Every school that you are looking at, was one started by someone just like you were saw a need, rolled up their sleeves, , and stepped in. Complaining on Imamother may be cathartic, but it is not going to solve the issue. You seem to be at least as passionate as others who have started schools. Put your energy into starting a school that will exist to accommodate everyone. Much hatzlacha.

Even if I don't have the resources to start a school maybe someone else here does. I felt the need to discuss this issue here. I'm not just complaining I'm trying to brainstorm a solution.

There are so many smart women on here who have a lot to say. I want to hear it!!

And maybe one day if I have the resources I will do something!!

amother

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 10:33 pm

amother Yolk wrote:

Our children's self esteems and educations need to be prioritized more! The chinuch system has the biggest impact on our society as a whole.

amother

Calendula

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 11:48 pm

amother Lemon wrote:

Unfortunately this is not true. I know people who were turned away. It used to be like that back when I first got married, but it’s not like that so much anymore.

I 100% don’t believe you. There is for sure something more to the story.

ectomorph

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:47 am

amother Yolk wrote:

But that's exactly my point. Chabad isn't my type or hashkafah, but it works for my children, and that's a wonderful thing.

The 50k story is just completely made up.

amother

Lemon

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 8:27 am

ectomorph wrote:

But that's exactly my point. Chabad isn't my type or hashkafah, but it works for my children, and that's a wonderful thing.

The 50k story is just completely made up.

You don’t have to believe it in order for it to be true. Just saying. And no, it wasn’t families with 6 kids in one school. It was high schools, just for the girls going into 9th grade. One of the families had an older girl, and they tried to get money for that girl too. None of the families ended up sending to those schools.

amother

Maroon

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 8:29 am

ectomorph wrote:

But that's exactly my point. Chabad isn't my type or hashkafah, but it works for my children, and that's a wonderful thing.

The 50k story is just completely made up.

Did you say that your children are still very young? When your children are young , the misaligned hashksfa doesn’t affect them as much. When they get to the older grades, it becomes more of a struggle. What will you do when the students in the school get their smartphones with unfiltered internet and social media ? They expose that to your children and your children start asking for the same? They start having Shabbos sleep overs at families that don’t necessarily keep Shabbos 100%. It becomes a struggle then.

The fact that schools take in wealthy and connected people no matter what is not new. Of course , the 50k story is true. These people will do a lot for the school and therefore the school feels it’s worth it to make exceptions for them. The people that get accepted this way also have a lot of Rabbanim that they give money to. Therefore all the people they are connected to will call the school and put pressure on them to accept these students. It’s not that hard to understand.

ectomorph

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 8:53 am

amother Lemon wrote:

You have yet to provide any evidence of this other than hearsay of hearsay. I'm sorry you think this is true. I will not be addressing this point, because it is clearly untrue, which is why you aren't posting under your username

amother

Daisy

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 8:59 am

Didn't read the whole thread.
I agree with you OP and I also really don't.
A lot of the pressure on schools to only accept certain types comes from the other parents themselves.
The achrayus for getting each child into school is on the town, not only the school administrators.

amother

Cinnamon

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 9:01 am

ectomorph wrote:

Lol everyone knows it's true for certain schools.

amother

Lemon

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 9:14 am

ectomorph wrote:

I just wrote a long response, but then I deleted it. I will not name schools, and if that causes people to not believe me, then I’m ok with that.
Kudos to the OP for trying to brainstorm and trying to fix a problem that she sees.

amother

Maroon

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 9:25 am

amother Daisy wrote:

Yet there are many good families that do align with the schools hashkafa that get turned down because of the lack of space. It’s not that they’re applying to schools that don’t suit them. It’s just that after siblings and connected families are prioritized and get in, there are really very few slots left which means many good families get turned down. The parents in the school would have no problem with these families. Actually, schools end up taking families that are misaligned with the hashkafa first if those families have the connections and they overlook some very good families that happen not to be well known or connected.