Why I always post as amother

Rutabaga

Tue, Oct 23 2018, 12:32 pm

watergirl wrote:

Just fyi everyone, we can see how many times you’ve posted as amother by clicking on your profile. So it lists the total posts as well as those just under your user name.

That's not quite accurate. The post count includes posts made in closed forums which you may not have access to.

Aylat

Tue, Oct 23 2018, 12:36 pm

rgr wrote:

In either case, intimate details should be posted as amother. Anything you wouldn't say directly to someone, don't say online.

This. Anything I post with my username are things I am okay with people knowing. In fact I post with the assumption that people know who I am (though obviously the vast majority don't). If it's private or involves other people like parents, DH or DC, I post amother.

watergirl

Tue, Oct 23 2018, 12:36 pm

Rutabaga wrote:

That's not quite accurate. The post count includes posts made in closed forums which you may not have access to.

Ahh good point.

Zehava

Tue, Oct 23 2018, 1:12 pm

simba wrote:

Anything I post in my username I am ok with my sister and neighbor knowing. Yes, I'm a very open person irl as well.

Same!
You have to be naive to post bedroom details under your username. If you know me drop me a line!

Raisin

Tue, Oct 23 2018, 1:20 pm

Someone told me that she knows someone on this site who changes random details about her life to confuse people. Eg she has 3 sons and a daughter instead of 2 of each. Stuff like that.

I post anything I think might be too identifying as amother. I'm sure people who know me well may have worked me out. (at least one person did)

Of course, anything like bedroom stuff, medical things, birth control is also anonymous. I'm on a facebook group which is great but it is very hard to post and respond anonymously so I rarely respond to certain posts since I really don't need the whole world knowing my business.

iyar

Tue, Oct 23 2018, 2:09 pm

I don't know who has me all figured out and who doesn't.
What I wanted to add here is that many times I read posts that other people wrote and think I could have written exactly the same thing. I've actually checked out the name and time as I'm second guessing myself and thinking- did I write that?
It makes sense some of us would have similar experiences and thoughts and yes, even similar recipes.
So when you're positive it's your sister/ neighbor/ friend, you might just be wrong.

amother

Papaya

Tue, Oct 23 2018, 10:56 pm

I don't exclusively use another because sometimes I make a post that I feel comfortable enough that it gives away nothing about myself. But use another a lot, even for totally innocent things like saying (making this up) "Alaska is my favorite vacation destination!" Because it's a bit unusual that I've been to Alaska and am extra careful about being found out.

Additionally, for me it's not just that I don't want people to figure out my screen name, I don't even want people to know that I'm on this website. So even under amother I would make a white lie ie change "I took my 5 kids to Alaska and we all loved it!" to "I took my two kids to Alaska and we all loved it!"

Bottom line: some of us are extra private, and I don't think there's anything wrong with using amother to feel more comfortable with the privacy level.

imasinger

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 3:19 am

amother wrote:

doesnt help if someone quoted you...

That's sometimes a problem for recent posts.

But not so much for old posts. If you click "find all posts by imasinger", you won't get a link to the ones I was quoted in.

amother

Seafoam

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 4:41 am

I once figured someone out and made a comment that upset her. It wasn’t my intention, I felt terrible about it. Also, my daughters are getting older and IYH they may be on here soon (they know I get great recipes here) and they would figure me out for sure!

amother

Floralwhite

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 6:48 am

amother wrote:

The reason I always post as amother is because I've seen how nasty people can get and I feel less vulnerable as amother.

This. Even when posting something as innocuous as a salad dressing, sometimes a critical user will chime in and attack the amount of sugar or say that it's not authentic or something, or say that the poster should have proofread. It's one thing to say you have a recipe with less sugar that the op might prefer, but there are often personal attacks. I'm sensitive and I don't need that. Amother feels safer.

Mommyg8

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 6:56 am

amother wrote:

This is so sad... but so true!

amother

Khaki

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 9:09 am

Well I first posted with my username when I came on.....the bashing didn't stop.

So yes......now I post anon when I think my view might no go over well to all people, when I'm not sure if certain word usages are correct & afraid I'll get nit-picked for my word choice,
Also when I'm relating anecdotes which involve other people or myself....for privacy, to avoid people figuring who I am, to avoid lashon horah.

Too bad....that not everyone appreciates what I have got to offer......so I need to hide under my covers......

MrsDash

Wed, Oct 24 2018, 9:50 am

We’re not as unique as we think. There were several posters who I was so absolutely sure was “them,” until I realized, it wasn’t. Believe it or not, even the most out there stories and experiences are shared by many.

amother

Tan

Thu, Oct 25 2018, 12:41 pm

I think I've been misunderstood. Yael just wrote that posting as amother is "bad form" but if you are 'shy or not confident in your opinions like the person who posted "why I always post as amother" (me) then its ok until you get more confident.' Was that really the take away from what I wrote? If we wanted to be completely open then why don't we just post with our real names +location? What's with this pseuo anonymity? I thought the beauty of this site comes from the authentic exchange that comes from people expressing themselves honestly and openly in a way they can't necessarily do at the park or in shul or at school pickup. There are a myriad of reasons why I don't share my health problems or my financial situation or how I feel about my mother in law etc with the whole Jewish world. This is a place to share and vent and get clarity without having to expose yourself or your family to scrutiny. At least that's what I thought it was.

amother

Plum

Thu, Oct 25 2018, 1:35 pm

southernbubby wrote:

I maybe used amother once, when it was personal details, but usually I don't post anything that I don't want the world to know on a public forum. There are people who know me on here.

Funny, I’m a long time Detroiter poster here, and I’ve always wondered if I know you.

southernbubby

Thu, Oct 25 2018, 1:59 pm

amother wrote:

Funny, I’m a long time Detroiter poster here, and I’ve always wondered if I know you.

You are always free to pm and ask me. Some people on here know me.

OutATowner

Thu, Oct 25 2018, 3:11 pm

That's why I dislike the option to search all posts by a username. If you ask people irl for a butterscotch brownie, and then post it here, someone might say "oh, Sarah was just asking about that".' Which isn't a big deal...except that you can click on her username and see that she has 3 boys, loves sushi, and just took toddlers on a night flight. Each isnt a big deal, but it's disconcerting. Of course I post private things as another, but I also dont want people irl to know that I am self conscious and going on a diet...but I would like to use my name so I am not a faceless blur.

amother

Scarlet

Thu, Oct 25 2018, 7:07 pm

OutATowner wrote:

search all posts by username should be banned! should only be available for mods I guess