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Forum
-> Parenting our children
pesek zman
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 7:49 pm
amother [ Oak ] wrote: | That makes a lot of sense. I wonder if certain nurses and docs avoid asking certain questions to avoid coming to a place where they might have a concern - rather defer to you.
I guess also there isn't a social worker on call 24/7 at the hospital either. |
Our hospital has a social worker till midnight in the ED. So from midnight to 8 am there isn’t any. But there’s always an AOD and let’s be real: many patients spend more than 8 hours in the ED so even if they arrive at midnight it’s unlikely they will be gone before 8am (unless there’s no wait and it’s siemthing benign) that said I don’t really agree with your hypothesis. Docs and nurses have to ask specific questions in their assessment and while many will report collaboritively, others have no problem reporting on their own. I had a doctor call in a case just last night without discussing it with me
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amother
Blue
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 8:15 pm
My daughter walked into something and got a black eye. A few days later she had an allergic reaction and hatzola had to take us in. I told hatzola I’m terrified that they will make a big deal about it. He said they probably won’t they understand that kids are kids.
Bh he was right.
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amother
Amethyst
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 8:26 pm
A good friend of mine had cps called by a new PA in the hospital. She knew immediately. Cops were sent to her home while they were in the hospital . She wasn’t allowed to be alone with any kids until it cleared up. Don’t know if this is standard.
(They were transferred to a better hospital and every dr they saw there said it was a normal injury. They had to see a specialist before they took their child home who made a statment that there was nothing suspicious. But once the case was open it had to go through a lot of beurarcucy to close)
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amother
OP
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 8:28 pm
pesek zman wrote: | Our hospital has a social worker till midnight in the ED. So from midnight to 8 am there isn’t any. But there’s always an AOD and let’s be real: many patients spend more than 8 hours in the ED so even if they arrive at midnight it’s unlikely they will be gone before 8am (unless there’s no wait and it’s siemthing benign) that said I don’t really agree with your hypothesis. Docs and nurses have to ask specific questions in their assessment and while many will report collaboritively, others have no problem reporting on their own. I had a doctor call in a case just last night without discussing it with me |
Do they give heads up to the parents that they are reporting?
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amother
OP
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 8:29 pm
amother [ Amethyst ] wrote: | A good friend of mine had cps called by a new PA in the hospital. She knew immediately. Cops were sent to her home while they were in the hospital . She wasn’t allowed to be alone with any kids until it cleared up. Don’t know if this is standard.
(They were transferred to a better hospital and every dr they saw there said it was a normal injury. They had to see a specialist before they took their child home who made a statment that there was nothing suspicious. But once the case was open it had to go through a lot of beurarcucy to close) |
That is terrifying! What was the injury ?
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pesek zman
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 8:31 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Do they give heads up to the parents that they are reporting? |
I always do. I’m pretty sure all the social workers do. Recently I heard of an anonymous call (made my a hospital staff member) who didn’t but frankly I think that’s the exception not the rule
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amother
Amethyst
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 8:38 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | That is terrifying! What was the injury ? | unusual broken bone. Was playing with siblings and fell on wood floor.
It’s possible the PA on call never dealt with it. It was a small hospital and couldn’t treat so transferred them.
They were told later that years ago this bone it was protocol to always flag as suspicious. But that it was stopped a long time ago.
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amother
Natural
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 8:43 pm
My sibling had cps called on them , after 3 months the case was dropped.
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amother
Floralwhite
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 8:53 pm
My neighbor was involved with the cps. They came a few times, but they were very nice. They made a couple minor changes in the house and the case was basically closed. They understand what normal kids and normal parents are all about.
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amother
OP
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 9:31 pm
amother [ Natural ] wrote: | My sibling had cps called on them , after 3 months the case was dropped. |
Oh my gosh.
Would you mind sharing any bits of what happened?
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amother
OP
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 9:33 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote: | My neighbor was involved with the cps. They came a few times, but they were very nice. They made a couple minor changes in the house and the case was basically closed. They understand what normal kids and normal parents are all about. |
Ok that’s not the end of the world that they were nice. Though I’m concerned my kids would be frightened by strangers inspecting their home and looking at their things
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aricelli
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 9:37 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Ok that’s not the end of the world that they were nice. Though I’m concerned my kids would be frightened by strangers inspecting their home and looking at their things |
My neighbors did as well. Their experience wasnt so simple. It was very tough on the entire family
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amother
Goldenrod
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 10:24 pm
OP - sounds like you will be ok!
Last edited by amother on Wed, Jun 16 2021, 9:22 pm; edited 1 time in total
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aricelli
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 10:29 pm
nchr wrote: | Many frum people I know are terrified of CPS. I cant figure out why. If you're a normal, healthy parent, there is nothing to worry about. If you're abusive and neglectful, then change. Also, plenty of legitimately abused children are still with their parents because courts prefer to not separate families and instead have parents take parenting courses, etc. CPS doesn't magically take your kids away - there is an investigation, etc. I know ppl who had CPS in their home for a few weeks because their children had injuries that mandated it and everything was a non issue. |
But those few weeks can be brutal.
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amother
Vermilion
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 10:34 pm
nchr wrote: | Many frum people I know are terrified of CPS. I cant figure out why. If you're a normal, healthy parent, there is nothing to worry about. If you're abusive and neglectful, then change. Also, plenty of legitimately abused children are still with their parents because courts prefer to not separate families and instead have parents take parenting courses, etc. CPS doesn't magically take your kids away - there is an investigation, etc. I know ppl who had CPS in their home for a few weeks because their children had injuries that mandated it and everything was a non issue. | you've clearly never had to deal with a psychopath cps social worker. They exist and destroy families.
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amother
Goldenrod
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 11:13 pm
[quote="amother
Last edited by amother on Wed, Jun 16 2021, 9:22 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
OP
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 11:15 pm
nchr wrote: | Many frum people I know are terrified of CPS. I cant figure out why. If you're a normal, healthy parent, there is nothing to worry about. If you're abusive and neglectful, then change. Also, plenty of legitimately abused children are still with their parents because courts prefer to not separate families and instead have parents take parenting courses, etc. CPS doesn't magically take your kids away - there is an investigation, etc. I know ppl who had CPS in their home for a few weeks because their children had injuries that mandated it and everything was a non issue. |
OP here. I am a normal healthy parent and I do know there would not be grounds for CPS to take away my kids Bh. But I do not want CPS in my home for a few weeks. My kids would be traumatized from having strangers coming and going to inspect the home. That is not a healthy concept to me. I am a devoted mom and my kids thrive on routine and this would shake things up and shake them up as well. To me CPS in my home is not a non issue. Does that make sense to you at all? I am still so scared and would love to be convinced otherwise .
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amother
OP
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 11:18 pm
nchr wrote: | But this is not the norm. Do you always fear the 1%? |
That is encouraging to hear that it is not the norm. Can you please share how you know these statistics ?
And yes when it come to the emotional well being and feelings of security For my kids, I do fear one percent. I feel that my kids would feel insecure from strangers hiding through their stuff
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amother
Floralwhite
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 11:19 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | OP here. I am a normal healthy parent and I do know there would not be grounds for CPS to take away my kids Bh. But I do not want CPS in my home for a few weeks. My kids would be traumatized from having strangers coming and going to inspect the home. That is not a healthy concept to me. I am a devoted mom and my kids thrive on routine and this would shake things up and shake them up as well. To me CPS in my home is not a non issue. Does that make sense to you at all? I am still so scared and would love to be convinced otherwise . |
They are not the police or kgb. They don't barge around the house throwing and breaking items.
They do a sort of walk through, together with you , while discussing what can be improved where. They don't terrorize or grill the children for endless hours.
At least not the ones I've met.
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ectomorph
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 11:30 pm
nchr wrote: | But this is not the norm. Do you always fear the 1%? |
You just made up that number. It doesn't even take a psychopath. Plenty of non Jews are anti Semites. Plenty of secular Jews view religious Jews as unfit parents. Now give them power over the future of a family. What a disaster.
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