Human experiences ami this week

amother

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 3:50 pm

If you read human experiences in ami this week about a man that lost his job and didn’t tell his wife, became an alcoholic and then his wife as for a divorce.

What did you think?

amother

Lime

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 3:53 pm

amother OP wrote:

If you ready human experiences in ami this week about a man that lost his job and didn’t tell his wife, became an alcoholic and then his wife as for a divorce.

What did you think?

As someone who has been to drug rehab and is now doing well I feel so sad for both the man and his ex-wife.

He didn't get a second chance.

As the OP of the AMA I've been to rehab thread this story makes me so sad. Rehab is brutal but it can be done. One can get to the other side.

During the 2 years he was out of a job rehab wouldn't have helped bec he was constantly lying. Every time he 'went to work' he was lying.

But once he came clean I wonder? Maybe had he gone to rehab then his marriage could've been saved...sounds like his wife had been through too much by then. There's a lot unsaid in this story if you read between the lines.

amother

Blue

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 4:10 pm

I read it. It was sad. I just don't understand how a wide wouldn't know....I guess she had no idea of the financials at all which is unhealthy. I feel for them both.

tweety1

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 4:51 pm

amother Lime wrote:

As someone who has been to drug rehab and is now doing well I feel so sad for both the man and his ex-wife.

He didn't get a second chance.

If those facts are all true I'm not sure she needed to give him a second chance.

amother

Gold

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 4:58 pm

I felt like something was really wrong with their marriage if he was hiding this from her for TWO YEARS and she had no idea. Forget the financials, how did she not pick up something was off?

And yes I think her response was very harsh. A lot of this was her fault as well, IMO. I don't think the wife was right at all.

chestnut

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 5:03 pm

That was a very sad story. I didn't understand how long it was all going on , between his losing his job and divorce.
Also, he committed to paying the mortgage after the divorce?
And his kids, besides the oldest, aren't talking to him Sad

ironically, the oldest daughter was affected the most as he acted up at her wedding

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 5:07 pm

tweety1 wrote:

If those facts are all true I'm not sure she needed to give him a second chance.

What why?
Wasn't he trying to protect her?
I felt so bad for him,, he suffered so much
So tragic

tweety1

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 5:26 pm

ap wrote:

What why?
Wasn't he trying to protect her?
I felt so bad for him,, he suffered so much
So tragic

Because it's very wrong of him to hide from her for so long. In my eyes who knows what else he's hiding or might hide down the road. She doesn't trust him. I'm not sure I would trust dh again if he would do this to me for so long.

amother

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 5:27 pm

tweety1 wrote:

Did you read the story?

amother

Gold

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 5:34 pm

tweety1 wrote:

Why did he hide this from her for so long?

In my mind it's either because he was trying to protect her, or was scared of her reaction if he told her.

In neither scenario would he be a villain.

amother

Lightgreen

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 5:35 pm

He was probably really scared of her. He probably felt his only contribution to the marriage was the money. This may have caused the drinking as well. It seems he was right.

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 5:55 pm

tweety1 wrote:

sounds like he did it to protect her
I thought the wife was so unsupportive
he suffered so much, heartbreaking

Queen Of Hearts

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 6:36 pm

A man shouldn't be 'protecting' his wife by hiding the fact that he no longer has a job.
His alcohol addiction if overcome she can forgive. But even if she chose to forgive him for hiding a huge part of his life for 2 years, how can she ever trust him again?
It would mean staying in a marriage where she would never feel secure knowing that her husband is open and honest with her.
That's a terrible place to be in.

amother

Seagreen

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 6:41 pm

I'm with those who thought wife was too harsh. Where was her compassion and understanding of why he did what he did? He didn't act out of maliciousness.

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 6:42 pm

Queen Of Hearts wrote:

I would think he learnt from his mistake
I think it's so sad how his life spiraled from 1mistake

amother

Winterberry

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 6:42 pm

amother Seagreen wrote:

I'm with those who thought wife was too harsh. Where was her compassion and understanding of why he did what he did? He didn't act out of maliciousness.

Agree

Queen Of Hearts

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 6:46 pm

ap wrote:

I would think he learnt from his mistake
I think it's so sad how his life spiraled from 1mistake

It's very sad. So heartbreaking Crying