Are so many people really that rich? What am I doing wrong?

amother

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 1:54 pm

The school raised tuition enormously. DH called the administration about it, they said that it doesn't look like people can't afford it! This is what those high standards are causing, a raise in tuition for everyone.

amother

Watermelon

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 1:54 pm

amother Peony wrote:

Dont you understand that high standards create peer pressure? Especially when those become community norms?

I agree that the standards have gotten too high.
But people won't change from this thread.
This thread just hits me the wrong way.

If someone can afford designer they will buy it.
If someone beats the system to afford designer they will buy it, too.

Everyone does what is important to them.

Signed, someone who pays a fortune in taxes. And receives no government benefits.

amother

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 1:56 pm

613mitzvahgirl wrote:

I agree and have been seeing this constantly. It drives me crazy. I believe they are all trying in different ways. But at the same time, I hear and feel your jealousy aching for more. We all want what we don’t have. It’s completely normal to feel this way. My family members always say why can’t we have this, why can’t we go here ect? Yes, it stings like he:: when we are jealous. And hurt more so when we see it being flaunted in our faces.

I'm not jealous! I don't want to spend on those things!
I'm just trying to understand the mentality.

amother

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 1:57 pm

amother Watermelon wrote:

What happens is when so many people live on high standards, the schools think everyone is rich and raise tuition by alot.

amother

Watermelon

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 1:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

I'm not jealous! I don't want to spend on those things!
I'm just trying to understand the mentality.

For some reason, these self righteous posts usually there is a smidgen of jealousy deep deep down.
If you are really honest with yourself you will recognize it, too.

amother

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 2:00 pm

amother Watermelon wrote:

For some reason, these self righteous posts usually there is a smidgen of jealousy deep deep down.
If you are really honest with yourself you will recognize it, too.

You deciding that I'm jealous, doesn't make me jealous. I don't care if you think I'm jealous, it doesn't change anything. I don't even want to spend those prices, even if I can afford it.
Questioning crazy standards, doesn't make one jealous.

amother

Seashell

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 2:02 pm

amother OP wrote:

Dh and I went down to the administrator's office to ask for a tuition break. He looked both of us up and down and then said OK. I was thankful but a little embarrassed Confused

It helps to see them in person because then they can see you're not one of those spending money.

amother

IndianRed

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 2:03 pm

amother Topaz wrote:

They say real rich people don't buy that stuff...I could afford that stuff if I wanted to but my kids wear beautiful hand me downs from my nieces and nephews that are 1 size bigger than them. I don't understand why people create this insanity for themselves. And then cry about prices of tuition and food.

I just saw this IRL. Someone I know always complains loudly that she is so broke. On Purim, she said she can't afford to give more than 2 very basic mishloach manos. She complains loudly about the cost of kosher food and tuition. She complains loudly that she needs help and asks people to pay for things for her. None of this is private. She also just posted online a purse she bought that costs close to 3k. She showed herself going into the store - it's not a dupe.

She should enjoy every second with this purse! I'm happy for her! I'm NOT happy when I see someone claiming they can't afford the basics and then spend 3k on a purse and make a show of it. If you are broke, I get it. If you are blessed with a windfall, I get it. If you are loud about it, I do not get it, and it makes people feel like they are doing something wrong, such as OP.

Everyone spends on what it important to them and I fully get that and support it. I do not support the ones who do it so loudly.

amother

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 2:04 pm

amother Seashell wrote:

Dh and I went down to the administrator's office to ask for a tuition break. He looked both of us up and down and then said OK. I was thankful but a little embarrassed Confused

It helps to see them in person because then they can see you're not one of those spending money.

They know us well. We didn't want to ask for a break, we wanted to hear an explanation as to why tuition went up this amount. The answer was that it doesn't look like people can't afford it. Because they know us welk, they told us that we can continue paying what we paid till know. We didn't even ask for a break.

amother

Watermelon

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 2:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

The title of your post says it all.
'What am I doing wrong?'

amother

Bergamot

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 2:05 pm

It's difficult for me to understand too
I grew up OOT but am raising family in tri-state area, & also scratch my head at certain communities kid's shoes prices, Michelle watches. The 18Forty podcast, by Rabbi Dovid Bashevkin, has some interesting episodes about finances & the orthodox world, there's a series on it you can find if you google or browse the list of previous episodes.

amother

Seashell

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 2:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

Then what's the problem?

amother

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 2:07 pm

amother Watermelon wrote:

The title of your post says it all.
'What am I doing wrong?'

Says all what??
It seems that I'm doing something wrong that I'm not interested in spending those prices and aren't grabbing expensive clothes off the shelves.....

amother

Hibiscus

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 2:17 pm

amother Topaz wrote:

There are also rich people that do buy those stuff

amother

Topaz

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 2:19 pm

One of my best friends wears thousands of dollars of outfits every day. She also rented a house for years and years once she got married (eventually divorced but another story) she had the money to own a house. She had the money to do whatever she wanted and she spent it on clothing instead of saving it and buying a home. IyH I'm looking into an apartment in Israel and not a soul would be able to tell by looking at me.