Is this called "we didn't do anything" Chol hamoed

imasinger

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 8:30 pm

"Mazel tov, you've just won the planning of next chol hamoed. I'll give you the budget, and a list of a few ideas, you can research more, and figure out details.
Obviously, we'll have to agree, but if it's reasonable, we will be glad to do your ideas."

LittleDucky

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 9:13 pm

For those who have older kids it would be good to involve them.
"Would you like 1 major trip or something smaller each day? If you choose the big trip there can be no complaints about boredom." Or do a big trip mixed with free things vs smaller but paid activities every day.
I asked my elders if they would be interested in some of the ideas we were deciding on. Some got nixed, some were given positive responses. We did a combo so that everyone would be happy...
Science center
Miniature golf
Another museum etc

Nothing major and we try not to spoil them with massive theme parks every day etc. Because if we do it once, it becomes the new standard.

amother

Bellflower

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 9:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

Older kids (teens):
bowling and ice cream
beach and biking
go karting a few rounds
park, kites, trail with fun snacks
Nice restaurant

Younger kids:
great adventures
beach and biking
chuck e cheese
park, kites, trail with fun snacks
apple picking and country store
Nice restaurant

Is this called not doing anything for chol hamoed? (older kids complaining)

Why didn't big kids do great adventures? Its not a good enough trip for them?

amother

Bisque

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 9:54 pm

Best thing that happened in my house is letting the older kids be in charge of planning trip and supper of that day.
They took jobs for supper decided on the trip and they don’t complain.

I give parameters:
Within xx miles from the house,
cost under xxx
Etc.
Bh so far it’s working.

amother

SandyBrown

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 10:52 pm

amother Bisque wrote:

What types of activities do they come up with?

amother

Gray

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 11:11 pm

I remember when I was a kid I would think we didn't do anything. And when my parents would say what do you mean we did this and this... I'd be surprised we did so much (or deny that it was so much)
Now as an adult I'm thinking I was referring to the mornings which I couldn't stand first We would discuss where to go then we would pack... oh yeah davening and breakfast I always wished we would leave early on time prepared.

amother

Daphne

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 12:18 am

amother Opal wrote:

So next chol Hamoed do absolutely nothing
Don’t even cook
If they want they can make themselves food

Take yourself and DH out, take the car all day and let them sit home and do NOTHING

This is what my kids did. Except DH and I took ourselves to work.

amother

Dustypink

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 1:00 am

Am I missing something here? I think we're allowing our kids to grow up feeling super entitled.
I went out with my family (yes, teens too) only ONE day. The rest of the days we stayed home home home. OP, I'm reading your (long!) list and can't help but wonder if you're guilt is self created. Do you really think you're a bad mom???

amother

NeonPurple

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 1:07 am

amother NeonPurple wrote:

Tell them we went to the orthodontist, the orthopedist, and the dmv.

Someone sent around this tzedaka notice for "underprivileged kids" whose families can't afford chol hamoed trips and it gave me a little jolt. Like wait that's me... but my kids are not underprivileged... or maybe they are? I never thought they were. They're all happy, well taken care of, popular.

Bnei Berak 10

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 2:50 am

amother Bisque wrote:

This post should be pinned IMHO.

amother

Forsythia

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 3:25 am

We went out one day to the Yishuv next to ours for a family get-together - homemade meal, lots of fun quality time together.
One day we had a huge yishuv event in honor of the yishuv's "birthday". Probably laughable by American standards- some kiddie-older kids inflatables, a food stand, and a wonderful wild animal show with a hilarious guy who brings snakes and the like to show the kids.
Apart from that, we were at home together. And the kids played for hours outdoors with their friends and had the best time.
My kids are still relatively young (oldest is 9) so expectations are lower but I feel like also expectations are lower in this out-of-the-way community and in Israel in general...
(Sorry for kind of not answering your question but just so you or your kids can see what "not doing much" really looks like Wink

slash it feels like we "did stuff" and we're happy with how it went...)

amother

Poinsettia

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 4:01 am

My teen girls sound similar to yours op.
We did go on a few small trips which they really enjoyed. A lot.
I think what upset them was 2 things.

1- after taking them on trips for 3 days, on the 4th day I told them that we’re not really going anywhere- just staying local. They were very upset about that. One daughter met with a friend for some time at a park and pizza but that wasn’t good enough for her.
Dh took the younger kids to a biking trail but the other teen daughter didn’t want to go so she ended up staying home and really not doing anything.
Suddenly all the other trips we did were forgotten about. They are only focusing on the day we did nothing.

2- the other issue is our neighbors.
One took off to Florida.
Another went on a 4 day trip to niagra falls.
And another went to a hotel upstate for a few days.

We cannot compare to the neighbors and we’re definitely not trying to but it’s hard for my kids to appreciate our outings when they feel the pressure from their friends going on major trips.
Hopefully we still created some good memories though.

BaltoMom65

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 8:26 am

amother NeonPurple wrote:

This makes me ill. I really thought it'd be a flyer taking kids to volunteer at nursing homes, hospitals or food banks/soup kitchens. What is wrong with us?

amother

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 8:35 am

amother Poinsettia wrote:

Lol- this is EXACTLY my family.
They forget the good stuff and see all the neighbors going to hotels, on airplanes and doing real adventures.

It's all good- I'm making it sound like my kids are rotten. They're really not = just older kids dropped a line that others do more. I validated and empathized but I just wanted a reality check.

amother

Opal

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 8:44 am

The older kids 8-14 went to TOP GOLF at night with their aunt. They felt very adult

They all went to Sky Zone and

We live in S. FL. so the pool was free.
We live in a building with lots of frum ppl so they had friends at the pool (all boys)
Because it was weekdays the frum families respected girl time/boy time. The not frum and non jews had school/work
Also many apartments are still empty this time of the year since many snow birds didn’t come yet
We are also lucky to have a game room with fusball, air hockey, and a real billiard table, as well as a fully equipped gym. But at the gym it is 16 yrs and older.