Home organizer for ND Moms. AMA

amother

Jetblack

Tue, Jan 16 2024, 7:43 pm

First of all, THANK YOU!

Ahem. Do you have a system or guidance for people who just can't get started and for whom schedules are difficult, or who have sensory issues that make cleaning harder? How about for people who get distracted in the middle of putting something away and put it down in a random place and then forget?

amother

Tue, Jan 16 2024, 8:11 pm

amother DarkOrange wrote:

Have you ever transformed a slob?

I have helped them hate themselves less and feel hopeful. I am a slob sometimes too. I'm a constant work in progress. We try and find a minimum baseline/cheat sheet when they feel overwhelmed.
There was once someone who I suggested she wash the kids uniforms everyday, the same uniforms, worn each day, washed each day. Is that a laundry system? No but she was ND and struggling with depression, her house was full of clothes all over the floor. I put the clothes in laundry bags, dealt with them and her system for the next while was literally, wash a load of what everyone wore that day and kids took their stuff clothes from the clean hamper.
This what I do. It's not about cute baskets and label machines. It's about giving hope and dignity to those women who are trying their best and need something to change.
Are they transformed? Probably not but they are usually are a bit happier and learn something that helps them long term.

amother

Tue, Jan 16 2024, 8:17 pm

amother Jetblack wrote:

Those are a lot of questions lol.

For people who get distracted my rule is you set a timer and you can't leave the room until the timer is done. Here's a great example of why typical cleaning advice doesn't work for ND women. Every one has heard the best advice ever- put things away as you go, don't put things down put them away..... If you are ND you are losing your mind, that's a million tiny tasks and distractions being built up and nothing gets done. For someone ND you do one task at a time, or one space at a time. Yes you cook up a storm and then do all the dishes. You don't put away all the things on the kitchen counter. You first only throw out the trash, then all the dishes, then all the food, then anything that needs to be put away in the other room, is put in a bucket that you only take out the room when you are done in that room. You know because if you go to put that check book into your bag from the counter, youre already distracted by some thing else you need to do or saw or noticed.

amother

Tue, Jan 16 2024, 8:47 pm

amother Maple wrote:

What is your general location?
How can you help on zero budget?
Trying to think of how to implement things when it's DH with ADHD... any suggestions?

Brooklyn.
I don't buy bins or buckets. If they want and can afford to, I can help with that. I'm mostly helping them set things up. I use the cleaning supplies they have, and sometimes I use maaser for certain things in certain situations.

First thing is advise for a husband with ADHD is for you to make a list of where he gets stuck. That's where you want to troubleshoot and see if you can come up with a hack or something like that for the most common places he gets stuck. But he has to want it.
Overall out of site out of mind is a number one issue with those with ADHD. Visual obvious reminders.
Second issue is too many steps. If you can minimize the number of steps something has to get done, the more likely it is to get done.
Third suggestion is habit stacking. Do something attached to something he already does. Example I take my medication right after I brush my teeth every day. My toothbrush and medication is out on the counter next to each other and the cup.

amother

Cognac

Tue, Jan 16 2024, 9:12 pm

Wow OP I’m so impressed how you do this with such dignity and kindness.
Are you super busy, like how many hours a week do you do it? Cuz u said U do it as a chesed, I’m curious if it takes over ur time or a small part of ur weekly schedule.
Are u super organized with your time? Do you have a paying job as well or what else do you/how do you structure your day and week with adhd? I find time management can be hard mostly in like a do I operate on a strict schedule or do I take a vacation day and relax, middle ground is hard for me to feel accomplished.

amother

Jetblack

Tue, Jan 16 2024, 9:25 pm

Thank you! Based on the out of sight out of mind thing, I know I often need things to be out and seen to remember to do things, or that they exist and I may want to use them. This gives the house a more cluttered look that I don't mind, but others do. What do you advise about clutter like this? For example, completely clear counters are a nightmare for me. But I also don't want a complete mess, and dh would rather neat and tidy with almost nothing.

LovesHashem

Tue, Jan 16 2024, 10:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

Fun fact: I have ADHD and maintaining things is SO hard for me. I so get you!!! It's why doing this work is so fulfilling, I get the dopamine from problem solving and then I don't need to be the one on top of it. I struggle in my own home with maintenance. Joking aside:
What we try to do is to figure out ways to reset easily without overwhelm.
I find the reason why the systems are mostly successful is because we make them based on the habits that ALREADY exist. Ex if you dump your mail on a certain surface, let's keep a tray there for it to be dumped on. If you sometimes aren't sure that you put on deodorant, keep a deodorant in your coat closet.

Sounds like a lot what I do. I have a lotttt of systems and habits which make my house pretty functional.

I also get dopamine from decluttering and problem solving. I've always thought about doing this as a job but figured there so many people, but specializing in ND is a good idea. It's amazing you do this as a Chesed!

amother

Wine

Tue, Jan 16 2024, 11:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

This story made me cry. I have AuDHD and depression and what you are doing is so important. You're my hero Heart

amother

Maroon

Tue, Jan 16 2024, 11:40 pm

chili-n-cholent wrote:

Op you can get paid for doing this through government programs.
I know a few people that do this working for Hamaspik, HCS etc
Reach out to them

you dont need a degree in organizing
any college degree to qualify as a provider

amother

Mauve

Wed, Jan 17 2024, 12:44 am

I don't want to hijack this thread but this is my line and I'd like to offer my support to you.

I give guidance and support via phone or zoom, according to your personality, life circumstances and your stage in life.

I don't actually go down to declutter houses but I share powerful tips and techniques to make your Homemaking simpler and more enjoyable.

I teach you to become your own organizer, through teaching you simple, yet effective tools to do it yourself forever.

I've got lots to share and would love to be of help to you.

amother

Taupe

Wed, Jan 17 2024, 1:13 am

amother Mauve wrote:

Hi all my friends, I don't want to hijack this thread but this is my line and I'd like to offer my support to you, so I will open a s/o.

Have you heard about Empowered Mommy method?
I give guidance and support via phone or zoom, according to your personality, life circumstances and your stage in life.

I don't actually go down to declutter your house but I share powerful tips and techniques to make your Homemaking simpler and more enjoyable.

I teach you to become your own organizer, through teaching you simple, yet effective tools to do it yourself forever.

I've got lots to share and would love to be of help to you.
.
You're welcome to reach out to me at...

Is this a free service too?

seeker

Wed, Jan 17 2024, 9:06 am

amother OP wrote:

I have ADHD and I have kids with ND.

I do not do it as a business, it's really just a chessed. I have a knack for it, I'm not judgemental at all, I was told people enjoy my company and feel good around me so I started doing this by word of mouth. It's usually the people who really need this are struggling. I just want to help women feel like they are ok, there are solutions and they can feel dignified. I live in Brooklyn and I don't drive. I ask people to pay for my Uber there and back.

Wow that's very special. Also brave of you to mention it so publicly!

seeker

Wed, Jan 17 2024, 9:09 am

amother OP wrote:

You're a genius. That's such creative thinking.