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HELP!! ONLY SLEEPS HELD. Experienced moms
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, May 27 2024, 4:34 pm
Hello imas
I have an adorable but EXTREMMEELYY Difficult 4 month old. This is not my first child. He has reflux which formula switching and meds havent seemed to improve, and following my ped rec we put oat in the bottle. Cant say its much better but hes baruch hashem gaining now. Anyway- he has ALWAYS been a terrible sleeper. But now its just so out of hand. Doesnt sleep in a swing or a bpuncer or on a walk in the stroller or in the car or in the bassinet. He is swaddled. Fed and a good temp. But only sleeps in hands and even that- he needs to be calmed again in between. Plus hes bh getting heavier and I feel like my back is giving out and my hands have crazy tendonitis again. He is exhausted. We are exhausted. Day in and day out is only getting more difficult. Please share any wisdom. Thank you!!
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hodeez




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 27 2024, 4:36 pm
Put him to sleep in your arms, then put him down and pat until he's calm. Might not be right away but he will learn
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, May 27 2024, 4:44 pm
hodeez wrote:
Put him to sleep in your arms, then put him down and pat until he's calm. Might not be right away but he will learn


My fault I should have explained. The minute I put him down (mamash anywhere!!) He instantly wakes and then its restart time and only half the time can I even save it. I rock I shush I have noise machine blackout shades etc. He screams but its like he cant self sooth. I have pacifiers hell take but cant tolerate long cause then he chokes on saliva and refluxes.
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amother
Gardenia


 

Post Mon, May 27 2024, 4:45 pm
Have you tried putting him to sleep on his stomach?
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, May 27 2024, 4:49 pm
amother Gardenia wrote:
Have you tried putting him to sleep on his stomach?


Yes one of my kids loved that. So I tried w him too. No success. Im honestly starting to freak out about it.
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amother
Gardenia


 

Post Mon, May 27 2024, 4:58 pm
amother OP wrote:
Yes one of my kids loved that. So I tried w him too. No success. Im honestly starting to freak out about it.


I think you need to get to the bottom of whether this issue is mainly medical or behavioral. Is he not sleeping mainly due to reflux? Or does he just strongly prefer to be held while asleep? I know it’s probably a mix of the two, but Depending on the answer, there are different solutions.

Firstly, I would try different reflux medications. Some are stronger than others. Just because one didn’t work doesn’t mean you should give up. If he’s in pain from reflux you need to fix that or he obviously won’t want to sleep. One of my kids was on Prilosec (Omeprazole). Have you tried this? Some doctors are reluctant to put babies on it but it sounds like a must for your baby so fight for it. There are also other ones to try. Also, keep trying different formulas , or maybe you need to try donated breast milk.

Second, once the reflux is somewhat under control, you will probably have to do a combination of comfortable sleeping positions plus a little bit of gentle sleep training, since he’s used to being held. I would encourage starting by putting him for naps (supervised) in a swing or car seat that’s a bit upright, so it’s more comfortable. Staying with him and shushing him, white noise, rocking etc while he gets used to not sleeping in your arms. And when in a crib, on his stomach or side.

The good news it that most babies outgrow reflux around age 6 months so you’re almost there!
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amother
Midnight


 

Post Mon, May 27 2024, 4:59 pm
Have you tried co-sleeping?
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dena613




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 27 2024, 6:05 pm
Have you swaddled?
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Mayflower




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 27 2024, 6:14 pm
I would wear him by day and co sleep by night.
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amother
DarkPurple


 

Post Mon, May 27 2024, 6:16 pm
I had this with my first until 7 months old. It was not fun. I feel for you
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amother
Sand


 

Post Mon, May 27 2024, 7:29 pm
Baby sounds in pain. You need to figure out how to address it
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, May 27 2024, 7:55 pm
dena613 wrote:
Have you swaddled?


Yes he likes swaddled. Even in arms hes swaddled. I have maybe 3 different types and he does like them all. But the minute hes put down (even in the swaddle) eyes open. And then after5 min shrieks
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, May 27 2024, 7:58 pm
Mayflower wrote:
I would wear him by day and co sleep by night.


He only likes to be held across (I think the pressure otherwise is bothersome) and I carry him in the carrier as much as he tolerates but holding him all day is no longer sustainable its been 4 months and my body is breaking . And I also have other kids and things to tend to. And I do co-sleep at night but even that. Its like as soon as its not exactly how he fell asleep. Awake. Also takes a vveeerryy long time to get him back
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, May 27 2024, 8:01 pm
amother Sand wrote:
Baby sounds in pain. You need to figure out how to address it


Bh when not needing to sleep he is a happy baby and now drinkinng and gaining unlike before. So I am trying to work on the sleep. If he was in pain all day id imagine hed be crying all day. But its more he cant seem to sleep and definitely not stay asleep.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, May 27 2024, 8:01 pm
amother DarkPurple wrote:
I had this with my first until 7 months old. It was not fun. I feel for you


Ok so you are who I need to speak with lol
How did it end?
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, May 27 2024, 8:12 pm
amother Gardenia wrote:
I think you need to get to the bottom of whether this issue is mainly medical or behavioral. Is he not sleeping mainly due to reflux? Or does he just strongly prefer to be held while asleep? I know it’s probably a mix of the two, but Depending on the answer, there are different solutions.

Firstly, I would try different reflux medications. Some are stronger than others. Just because one didn’t work doesn’t mean you should give up. If he’s in pain from reflux you need to fix that or he obviously won’t want to sleep. One of my kids was on Prilosec (Omeprazole). Have you tried this? Some doctors are reluctant to put babies on it but it sounds like a must for your baby so fight for it. There are also other ones to try. Also, keep trying different formulas , or maybe you need to try donated breast milk.

Second, once the reflux is somewhat under control, you will probably have to do a combination of comfortable sleeping positions plus a little bit of gentle sleep training, since he’s used to being held. I would encourage starting by putting him for naps (supervised) in a swing or car seat that’s a bit upright, so it’s more comfortable. Staying with him and shushing him, white noise, rocking etc while he gets used to not sleeping in your arms. And when in a crib, on his stomach or side.

The good news it that most babies outgrow reflux around age 6 months so you’re almost there!


Thank you for your response!! I think now the bigger component is behavioral. And I dont know how to transition. He wakes in everryytthhinngg and yes his swing and bassinet are elevated as are car seat and strioller by design. And I try pickup and put down again but he ends up so angry. Same w shushing and patting. Can spmeone suggest other gentle techniques pls
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amother
Honey


 

Post Mon, May 27 2024, 8:13 pm
amother Sand wrote:
Baby sounds in pain. You need to figure out how to address it

I agree. He must be either in pain or hungry
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, May 27 2024, 8:16 pm
amother Honey wrote:
I agree. He must be either in pain or hungry


Definitely not hungry.
Pain doesnt match up w how he is behaving when not needing to sleep.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, May 27 2024, 8:17 pm
amother Gardenia wrote:
I think you need to get to the bottom of whether this issue is mainly medical or behavioral. Is he not sleeping mainly due to reflux? Or does he just strongly prefer to be held while asleep? I know it’s probably a mix of the two, but Depending on the answer, there are different solutions.

Firstly, I would try different reflux medications. Some are stronger than others. Just because one didn’t work doesn’t mean you should give up. If he’s in pain from reflux you need to fix that or he obviously won’t want to sleep. One of my kids was on Prilosec (Omeprazole). Have you tried this? Some doctors are reluctant to put babies on it but it sounds like a must for your baby so fight for it. There are also other ones to try. Also, keep trying different formulas , or maybe you need to try donated breast milk.

Second, once the reflux is somewhat under control, you will probably have to do a combination of comfortable sleeping positions plus a little bit of gentle sleep training, since he’s used to being held. I would encourage starting by putting him for naps (supervised) in a swing or car seat that’s a bit upright, so it’s more comfortable. Staying with him and shushing him, white noise, rocking etc while he gets used to not sleeping in your arms. And when in a crib, on his stomach or side.

The good news it that most babies outgrow reflux around age 6 months so you’re almost there!


Also I will definitely bring up this med. Thank you
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Mon, May 27 2024, 8:18 pm
Try craniosacral therapy
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