Morah's would this annoy you? Phone, one off.

amother

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 6:08 pm

amother Cognac wrote:

It’s ok you did nothing wrong you don’t have to feel so guilty for taking the phone call!!!
When you feel confident about yourself it’s easier to get less irritated from other people.

Thanks, she didn't say it was okay though which does make me feel bad.
This kid is 2 plus by the way. She speaks well she can tell her mother about her day as a one off. She's not a helpless baby. Saying this as I think it makes a difference.

I felt by her texting me she was letting me know that she remembers that I was on the phone, and she wants to remind me about it. That's just how I feel about it, I can't help how I feel.

Elfrida

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 6:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

I felt by her texting me she was letting me know that she remembers that I was on the phone, and she wants to remind me about it. That's just how I feel about it, I can't help how I feel.

You can feel how you want. What you can't do is project your emotions on someone else. Sometimes you have to acknowledge that it is emotions taking charge, not logic.

amother

Tanzanite

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 7:47 pm

amother OP wrote:

A two year old is not going to give her mother the information she wants - was she cranky, any issues came up, how her behavior was overall. It's a little odd that you think a two year old can be filling in for your daily report.

NechaMom

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 7:50 pm

amother OP wrote:

Honestly, the amount you're over thinking this seems obsessive. You have a whole story in your mind that she most likely wanted to send you a message that she noticed you're on the phone. IMO it's all blown out of proportion. She is the type of mom who likes asking the morah every afternoon how the day was. Even though her 2 year old can talk. That's the end of it. Nothing with you being on the phone.

kenz

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 8:01 pm

OP, I hear you completely. Especially since she ostensibly knows you weren’t there today for most of the day, it sounds like she was trying to give you a not so subtle hint that she couldn’t talk to you because you were on the phone. Very annoying but I would just let it go and hope the whole situation doesn’t repeat itself:

mom923

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 8:06 pm

I’m confused what the problem is? I get a debrief from my daughter’s babysitter every day when I pick her up.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all for her to text you that night and make sure everything was good. You didn’t have to respond…that’s the beauty of a text..you respond when you have time.

amother

Ecru

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 8:25 pm

amother OP wrote:

Totally fine to ask me by pick up how her kids was that day but to text me and disturb my evening , after being unavailable to chat just once got me annoyed.

You didn't have to respond
So nice she texted and didn't call

She sounds like a good mom
I don't see anything wrong

amother

Ecru

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 8:29 pm

amother OP wrote:

I don't know your thinking too much into it

I really think your an AMAZING morah and care so much! I wish my daughter teacher was so devoted Mad

amother

Red

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 8:36 pm

amother OP wrote:

I didn't project my emotions on anyone but I'm a mother 😆

It sounds like you are though. You clearly felt guilty about being on the phone (which you shouldn’t!) and are being overly sensitive to this situation now, and seeing it as an attack or judgement from her rather than what it actually is: she’s just trying to find out how the day was.

Every day she asks at pickup, but today you were not available to ask. Nothing wrong with that, but nothing wrong with her still wanting to know (because she’s also a mother!) so she texts you. I don’t see how taking 30 seconds to respond to a text is disrupting your evening, especially when you can respond at a convenient time for you. Do you not see how you are blowing it out of proportion, genuinely?

I also don’t see the issue with her asking you even if she knows you are not the one there most of the day today. You are the head morah, so any correspondence about her child’s day should go through you. If you think you shouldn’t know how the day went because It was an assistant there instead of you, that’s a bigger issue.

BH I send to a group where the Morah sends updates and plenty of videos/pictures throughout the day to a group chat, so I don’t need to “disrupt” the Morah’s day every day by checking in with how my child is doing, which I should definitely be curious about when leaving them for 6 hours with other people. Yes, she should be checking in every day and the fact that you don’t think so is a little off putting to me TBH

Ema of 5

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 8:45 pm

amother OP wrote:

She said nothing was wrong with her , she just wanted to check in with me. Sorry but she could've waited for tomorrow. If she's happy and fine when she fetched her, and she was her usual self for the rest of the day she should've just let it go one day .

Is there something more going on with you and this mother? Why are you having such a hard time with this?

amother

Poinsettia

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 8:45 pm

amother OP wrote:

My 2 year old is not at all able to tell me about her day beyond the last activity of the day maybe. It’s reasonable that if you weren’t available to tell her about his day at pickup because you were on the phone, for her to text you later to ask. Would you rather she interrupt your call to ask?

Ema of 5

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 8:47 pm

amother OP wrote:

No definitely not a phone call. Yes I should've just ignored the text, and spoke to her face to face in the morning. It just wasn't necessary for her to bother me out of work hours when it really wasn't important.

Just because it’s not important to you doesn’t mean it’s not important to her.

Ema of 5

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 8:50 pm

kenz wrote:

If it had been just today, I would agree with you. But OP said that she asks every day, even on her day off, and she always answers that the other Morah was there. Maybe this is part of the routine for the mom. Maybe getting an answer from you helps her to feel better and less guilty about having to send her daughter out when she really wants to keep her home.

mom923

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 9:37 pm

kenz wrote:

I disagree..from OP's original post she says the mother didn't even mention the phone. She just asked how her child was that day. OP apologized for being on the phone without prompting.
I don't think any hinting was intended..just pure concern for her child.

@OP is this child her first? I can imagine a first time mother being more concerned about her child's day and wanting details even if you think there's nothing significant to report. Some parents are very involved and you need to instill boundaries to deal with them if they're bothering you. Maybe you need to make a blanket rule that you will not respond to messages after a certain time of night?

TwinsMommy

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 10:54 pm

I'm a playgroup SUB and moms text me before the day to tell me what time their newborn took a bottle (as if the newborn won't make it CLEAR when she next needs her bottle-- lol) and after the day to find out how the day went when their hubby picked up and THEY want to hear from me. Kol V'chomer if I were the real Morah I'd expect and anticipate the texts now and then especially from the less experienced and more nervous mothers. It takes 3 seconds to answer a text, it makes the mom happy..... no big whoop.