Worth millions and still breaking our heads how to live...

amother

↑ Scarlet

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 9:49 pm

amother OP wrote:

I'm talking about a few families that I know well. They don't own a single property and live only on their paycheck but will spend it fully and even more. I know because they share with us a lot of their finance.

On your other point, my tuition is 3K, one kid is still home with me.
My mortgage is 1K a month (We are renting our basement and it cover the rest of it)

What's your business?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 9:50 pm

From most answers here, I guess we need to start thinking more about living the present and not thinking about the future as much, how we do it? It's in both of ours nature to worry about those things.

amother

↑ Foxglove ↓

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 9:53 pm

amother OP wrote:

If you are comfortable with your life then why do you have go change how you are living? Do you wish you were spending more money now?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 9:54 pm

synthy wrote:

If I understand correctly, it’s not that you can’t spend more, you just don’t want to. Which is fine, but then it’s weird to compare with how much others are spending.

I really do want to spend more, and could spend more. But something inside me, and my husband is holding us back, the fear of the future.
And it get me thinking how other ppl don't even think about next month's rent...

amother

Marigold

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 9:55 pm

Please share how you built yourself up in real estate. I feel so lost in these things and people seem to figure it out. Do you have 20k coming in a month from your investments or is that also from salaries?
Did you have some helping advise you in the early year with real estate?

amother

↑ Winterberry ↓

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 9:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

nobody is telling you not to save. Be responsible. But if you want a vacation budget or it and go for it. You only live once. You don't really know what goes on behind closed doors in other peoples lives no matter what it looks like. Maybe speak with a financial planner.

amother

↑ Winterberry ↓

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 9:56 pm

amother OP wrote:

Your being responsible. They aren't but that not your concern. focus on your own problems!

amother

Black ↓

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 9:56 pm

You have to decide. Everyone decides for themselves. Personally we try to save a lot and we go on cheaper vacations, no logos on our clothing, dinner at restaurants for occasions only. regular non fancy owned not leased cars.
Live for yourself- olam haze but also olam haha- not to keep up with others. Assess your values. Keep in mind modesty and not making other people jealous is a Torah value. Also keep in mind that if your kids are used to a high standard, you’re putting a lot of pressure on them to keep it up when they go out to earn an income.

I would suggest spending on experiences (and not posting about them!) and life hacks ie more cleaning help.

amother

Daphne

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 9:56 pm

OP you sound like an anxious type. Saving is good and smart but it's not healthy to always allow fear to be the driver.

amother

Ebony

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 9:57 pm

Make a happy balance, I agree many people don’t save or can’t save. But living normally is good too. Definitely make sure to save monthly but give yourself some room for extras - either to make your life easier or just more fun etc

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 9:57 pm

amother Foxglove wrote:

If you are comfortable with your life then why do you have go change how you are living? Do you wish you were spending more money now?

Ye, I would love to spend more! But the thoughts about how much is needed to save fornthe future and how much to spend now drives me crazy! And I know we over think about it, but I just can't stop worrying.

amother

↑ Winterberry

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 9:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

So work on yourself to enjoy the present as well. you can get a healthy balance

srbmom

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:00 pm

Maybe you and DH need to sit down with a 3rd party, probably a financial counselor of some sort, to work through all of this. We have 5 kids and are going into debt each month bringing home 10k a month. Your numbers don't sound realistic to me

↑ synthy

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:01 pm

amother OP wrote:

Not being stingy is a middah one has to work on… maybe a therapist can help?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:01 pm

amother Ebony wrote:

What will be a normal balance? How much % of one's income?

amother

Pansy

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

Learn choivois Halevavos Shar Habitachon and you will learn that you dont have to worry at all about the future, it's completely out of your hands and Hashem will provide for you always. Also, Everything can be lost in an instant Chas veshalom. Just enjoy what you have and save if you want but the obsession comes from thinking that you have control over the future.

amother

Teal

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:03 pm

What about making an actual plan of how much you think you'll need in the future if you keep earning at this rate? Sitting down with a financial planner sounds like a good idea.

Also, maybe ease into things by stretching yourself to spend on one extra you want thatyou wouldn't normally spend on. One more vacation a year, one more monthly luxury, etc. that sounds reasonable and will still allow you to save. So you're treating yourselves, but still being responsible.

amother

Strawberry

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

My problem is that I don't understand how other ppl. don't think about money as much as me, we are thinking ahead and are nervous about marrying our kids off, and giving them a future and about my pension.

I guess my question is how could you live the present without freaking out about the future.

Because there is a G-d that runs this world and we are not supposed to freak out about our futures. Or about anything for that matter. Life in this world doesn't last forever. Yes, we should be responsible and careful but no we should not live in fear of our futures. Do you know what's going to happen tomorrow? Neither do I. Enjoy the bounty Hashem has given you and live life b'simcha not in fear.

amother

Electricblue

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:05 pm

You’re making a choice not to spend your money.
You could also choose to put less into savings each month so that you could have room to enjoy life in the present
Life isn’t only worrying about the future. Build memories with your children.
Enjoy what you have.
Don’t just leave them an inheritance.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 10:07 pm

amother Marigold wrote:

In the first few years of our marriage we both worked very hard and were extremely frugal. We invested most of our incomes into real estate, bought in cash, when prices when up we financed the few properties we had and with the money we got we bought more, we buy neglected properties, renovate and refinance for the higher value they are worth after renovation, than we have the cash again and we repeat.