Older gen vs younger gen

amother

Peach

Sun, Apr 21 2024, 1:28 am

amother Cadetblue wrote:

I think there is a personality type that enjoys publicly being a martyr and then complaining about it.

I think there's also a personality type that enjoys doing a heavy cleaning and doesn't complain about it.
Both my mom and I deep clean out homes for Pesach. She's in her 50s, I'm in my mid 20s. Neither of us complain in public or in private. This is what Pesach cleaning for me.

amother

Babyblue

Sun, Apr 21 2024, 1:30 am

My mother is in her late sixties.
I'm in my mid thirties.

Mother is a little ocd with pesach, washing curtains type.

I still have that OCD chinuch for pesach in me, but I am so much more chilled. I don't turn over the night before (I've Been cooking since Wednesday night)

I do think it has to do with trying to move away from the stressful situation it was in my childhood.

I don't think my mother would feel comfortable eating at our house on pesach! LOL

We sell chometz, eat non shmura, etc

amother

Lightcoral

Sun, Apr 21 2024, 1:46 am

I'm in my 40s. My mother is very Yekke and used to start preparing for Pesach right after Chanukah, but she acknowledged that most of what she was doing was spring cleaning and organizing. We were never allowed to bring food out of the kitchen and dining room, so there wasn't any chometz in the rest of the house. My mother saved her serious cleaning for the kitchen and I remember standing on counters cleaning cabinets when I was off from school the week before Pesach. But then, she emptied many of her cabinets for Pesach, lined them, and used them for Pesach dishes and ingredients.

I am definitely more chill by nature and I am not great on the organizing front. We do have the same rule about no food outside the eating areas so I don't worry about the bedrooms. We also just close off all the cabinets and put up shelves for all our Pesach stuff. So most of our Pesach cleaning is just wiping down the fridge, freezer, counters, etc. in the kitchen and vacuuming and mopping the floors in the house in general.

amother

Rainbow

Sun, Apr 21 2024, 2:24 am

Wow! I grew up like this. Pesach cleaning was a BIG deal. It went on for months and it was extremely thorough. I couldn't stand it honestly. It was a huge turn off for me. It made Pesach seem super scary in my mind.

My parents are both BTs so I figured that's why.

I asked my mother now (she's 58 and I'm early 30s) and she said she enjoyed the thorough cleaning and she knew she didn't have to do all of it. She wanted a clean house. Yes, she worked PT.

She didn't use R' Blumenkrantz's sefer. She went with the starK list.

I have no clue what she does now because I haven't been for Pesach in 5 years. I hope she does a lot less because she's older and doesn't have the helpers.

I cleaned like her the first Pesach I made. Shana shniya. But then I went to a shiur and a rebbetzin said what you really have to do. Game changer!!! For the next 9 years, I cleaned minimum. This year, was the first year I did more, just because I could. Not pregnant and not nursing. And my oldest isn't so little and neither is my youngest.

Regardless, I start after Purim so the whole process lasts a month. If any of the kids don't like it, (actually opposite around here. They ask me when I'm going to start LOL) then it's not a drawn out process that goes on for months.

I'm happy to make Pesach a good experience for my kids.

amother

Ballota

Sun, Apr 21 2024, 2:35 am

I'm younger but my mother never went crazy. In fact I clean more than she did. She started RC Nissan and did almost no cleaning for Pesach. We girls did whatever we thought was important. Most of our house was never thoroughly cleaned. She did cook and bake a lot for Pesach and started a good week before YT.
I start cleaning after Purim. I always say Pesach comes after Purim.
I'm far from a neat freak I do like to wash my walls once a year. If I am pregnant or postpartum, I'll skip that year. I don't go crazy.
I do use toothpicks for hard to reach places or else they never get clean , for ex, the seam of my shaker kitchen cabinets.
But I don't clean legos, I used to. Now we just use Pesach toys.
I don't take apart chairs.
But I do wash curtains.
If I get to polishing the silver, yay, if not, I'll do it another time. I don't like gold silver like my mother has.

amother

Chicory

Sun, Apr 21 2024, 2:38 am

My mom is crazy about pesach cleaning but its mainly a massive spring cleaning.
I do basic spring cleaning in my bedrooms.
I don't go crazy, but things still have to get cleaned. I'm confused by what posters are saying that its no big deal and they are so chilled. I needed to scrub my oven after it was self cleaned. and my grates on my stove and my fridge drawers and shelves. I mean, these things are being used on pesach itself. I didn't think you can be chilled about that. that was a full two day event for me (with working and then having kids to take care of as well)

and then my car. we aren't slobs but we do travel alot so there's lots of eating in the car. every car seat needed to be wiped down and washed and the seats needed vaccuming etc. that was also another full day (we have 2 cars)

also, I don't have the luxery of a playroom. My toys are in my kitchen. Maybe they don't have to be scrubbed with a toothpick, but most gotta get cleaned or wiped down somewhat. (I'm not locking my toy closet and having my kids tear their hair with boredom all pesach because I don't want to clean my toys)

I don't know. Definilty don't go crazy with cleaining like my mom who wipes down every clothes hanger and cleans every light fixure. but basics are basics. at least I though so and DH thinks so.

I guess if you have lots of good cleaning help then all the things above, she can be the one to do it so then I guess its no big deal. but I only have basic help so maybe that's the answer...

amother

Winterberry

Sun, Apr 21 2024, 2:46 am

I agree that it's mostly personality as well as community standards. My sister and I had the same mother and father, but I'm persnickety, she's not. I start spring cleaning months ahead; I doubt my sister ever dusted a book in her life. I line my foil up just so and tape the edges just so whereas her foil is just crimped into place, that kind of thing. Her place is never dirty or messy, she just works fast and does nothing that isn't necessary. She probably got this from our mom, whereas I take after our father, who himself said his whole side of the family is meshuga clean and he was no exception.

As I get older I'm getting moderately less fussy because I just can't do what I used to. I don't polish the chometzdike pots before putting them away. I still scour the Pesach cookware before putting it away, though. It's going to be stored for a year, if there's any smidge of food residue on it, even just a whisper of grease, the bugs and the mice will be having a jamboree and I'll have to deal with their leavings when I take the dishes down next year. I use more steel wool on Pesach than the entire rest of the year.

amother

Rainbow

Sun, Apr 21 2024, 3:07 am

amother Chicory wrote:

I agree with you. it's not no big deal at all. but just the things that HAVE to be done are really enough for me. My mother did all of those plus a bunch of other jobs that could've been skipped.

Even the years I did the minimum, I didn't find that particularly easy either.

I did make some shortcuts for myself. I bought Pesach burners so I could just close up the chometz ones. I don't use my chometz oven (that's the minhag around here because they don't self clean), so that's another job that doesn't have to be done. This year, I treated myself to a Pesach plata so that is another thing I don't have to clean. (But we did do the stove this year because we are having lots of guests.)

amother

Olive

Sun, Apr 21 2024, 7:12 am

My mother worked. When I was younger, she did turn over the night before, and guess what? We had delicious, filling basic seudos over Yom Tov. Once I was high school age and had two weeks off before Pesach, I did a large amount of the cleaning, and had a grand time. Then we were able to turn over earlier.
Now I am a working mother myself. I don't stress too much, have a lot of cleaning help, and my older kids help. I loved Pesach, and still do.

amother

DarkMagenta

Sun, Apr 21 2024, 8:34 am

amother Cadetblue wrote:

I think there is a personality type that enjoys publicly being a martyr and then complaining about it.

Omg yes😂😂😂 I’m in my mid thirties and am super chill re cleaning. Only started cleaning kitchen yesterday and have to do living room, dining room and rest of kitchen today and then go shopping today. It will all get done. We don’t scrub. Sweep, mop, clean out from inside and under couch and done. I hated that growing up spring cleaning was part of Pesach cleaning. Unless your kids put pretzels in their drawers why are you going through them?? We can spring clean calmly a different time. I’ve never heard of scrubbing down toys till I learned my mil does that and think it’s ocd with religion honestly… Pesach is meant to be a beautiful yuntif and calm prep is part of that. I’m really proud my kids don’t have to experience a crazy stressed atmosphere as we prep for Pesach.

Tzutzie

Sun, Apr 21 2024, 9:06 am

amother Rainbow wrote:

Def.
It's a big job pesach but you don't have to go crazy.
You don't need to wash anything in the bedrooms other than floors.
All you need to do is inspect the drawers we officially don't eat in the rooms. But preteens and toddlers.......
I like to spring clean during the winter. And then come pesach. I do all bedrooms in just an hour or less.
So you need to inspect it.
It's literally that simple.
The car dh pays to have it cleaned.
The kitchen is a big job as we use the cabinets to store things. So take everything out. Clean well, cover with shelf liner or silver paper. It's a job.
The couch needs to be cleaned. And the dining areas too including the walls where you can reach. Not ladders or sticks to reach places you'll never again tough. Door handles.
Pockets.
School bags, your bags.
And your good.

For the stove top, we bought separate grates and burners. And dh kashers the stove top itself and we just use the pesach burners and grates. Best money spent ever. Wasn't too expensive either.
Technically you can scrub the burners and leave the flame on high for 20 minutes and that will kosher the burners but I'm not fond of using those strong chemicals to get it looking new. so we just bought burners when we bought the grates. (technically that can also be torched but that's a much bigger job than just burning the burners.)
Makes cooking a breeze bh!

Prepesach is intense! But so worth it. Pesach is such a beautiful time!

amother

Forsythia

Sun, Apr 21 2024, 9:26 am

I don't really clean non-eating rooms. That's what bedikas chametz is for.

I don't go crazy, I basically take out the chametz and vacuum the cabinets.

My mother did organize and clean the entire house. But I think by now she does less. I'm in my mid twenties my mother is in her upper 40s.

I think this going crazy started back when they didn't have separate dishes for pesach and they literally have to scrub the pots so they can kosher it. And even when we did start having separate dishes the mentality didn't go away.

amother

Raspberry

Sun, Apr 21 2024, 9:35 am

amother Rainbow wrote:

I was going to say... my parents are BT too. Is it an older generation thing, or a BT parents thing of trying really hard to be perfectly frum and going ott? I don't know. We had to go through every single book and page and shake out everything. Scrub every toy. We definitely moved the fridge to be able to clean and get behind it and everywhere. It's great to do a nice thorough clean once a year, don't get me wrong, but we don't have to make all of it about halacha when it really isn't.

As we grew up it somehow increased. I'm still not sure why suddenly their sink spouts and faucets needed to be covered in contact paper (including the counter tops which were always covered. We lined every single drawer and shelf after already scrubbing it clean.) Isn't cleaning it enough? I don't care or judge, it doesn't bother me personally, I live and let live. But I don't think it really needs to be like that. I'm not sure they even believed it what really mandatory because I heard from a sibling that since they don't get our help anymore, they don't do a lot of those stuff. (I moved overseas a while back and we haven't been able to go back for Pesach yet so I don't know personally.) I think sometimes people have their own idiosyncrasies that they end up blaming on halacha.

amother

Cantaloupe

Sun, Apr 21 2024, 9:57 am

I remember hearing once that the reason why the older generation (think 70+) cleaned like they did was because where they came from, they lived much simpler lives and in much smaller simpler homes so it was easy to clean top to bottom, ceilings to floors and everything in between. Now we live in much bigger homes and it's not necessary to do the top to bottom anymore but that's something they're used to.
I used to do spring cleaning with turning over mattresses and washing down all rooms regardless if it was a bedroom or the living room. That's how I grew up and I hated every minute of it until I read and heard a shiur that that's not pesach cleaning, that's spring cleaning and that thorough cleaning of rooms can wait till summer. I realized what I'm doing wrong. I always dreaded pesach. The before and during. There was no food erev pesach, I was scared to eat anything because limited items were bought. And then when I got married and spent the first pesach with my inlaws did I realize that it doesn't havta be that way. Erev pesach you're allowed to eat and there's plenty of food to make: kugel and fried cutlets and mashed potatoes.
This is what my erev pesach looks like: abundance of food so no one is hungry and a calm atmosphere.