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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
Heyaaa
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 Wed, Feb 17 2016, 1:23 am
| DrMom wrote: | Why do you invest so much energy peeping into your neighbors' homes?
People are allowed to hang [filth] (or nude art, or pictures of their dog, or landscapes, or their 4-year-old's scribbles from daycare, or whatever they want) on the interior walls of their homes if they want to.
Your arguments about public nudity do not apply here because you are talking about what goes on in the privacy of someone's own home. |
For the same reason ds does.
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Ms.MaryMack(inblack)
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Wed, Feb 17 2016, 5:31 am
The only person you can change is yourself.
True, I agree it's wrong, but you can't change it.
So move (I know easier said then done)
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boysmom4
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Wed, Feb 17 2016, 7:48 am
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Dearest OP im sorry that you feel no one is understanding you!! All of you giving your nasty comments aren't helping her situation!! instead you should all say there isn't anything really to do about what your neighbor wants to do in their house!! But we do sympathize with you and its a huge problem!! and no she doesn't need to educate her child about human anatomy at a young age!
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FranticFrummie
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Wed, Feb 17 2016, 8:50 am
Hashem has sent you a wonderful opportunity to start teaching your son about guarding his eyes. Everything is from Hashem, and you never know what shaliach will bring to help you open conversation with your children and start educating them.
Do you live in a neighborhood where women wear tank tops and short shorts in the summer? You can bet he's going to start noticing that, too. Take action now, and your son will learn to keep his eyes where they belong.
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Simple1
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Wed, Feb 17 2016, 9:11 am
| boysmom4 wrote: | | Dearest OP im sorry that you feel no one is understanding you!! All of you giving your nasty comments aren't helping her situation!! instead you should all say there isn't anything really to do about what your neighbor wants to do in their house!! But we do sympathize with you and its a huge problem!! and no she doesn't need to educate her child about human anatomy at a young age! |
I agree. So many of these answers are very rude. Maybe there's nothing OP can't do about it, but I can still relate to her discomfort.
I'm assuming the boy isn't going up to the window and peeking in. If the shades are open at night, it's easy to see in. By human nature, it's hard to stop looking at something just by intending not to - in fact the opposite happens.
If you are close enough to her to make conversation, you can casually comment on her interesting artwork, without judgment or asking her to do anything. It's possible she's not aware that her private home is showing in the street, and she may on her own want to pull down the shades at night.
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sweetpotato
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Wed, Feb 17 2016, 9:25 am
OP, the bigger of a deal you make out of this, the bigger problem it will become for your son and potentially your relationship with your neighbors. It would be silly and a chillul Hashem to go knock on your neighbors door and complain about their artwork. You will seem like a busybody at best, and a pervert who looks into peoples' windows at worst.
Tell your son we don't spy into people's houses. Some people have interesting tastes in artwork. End of story. The more you act like it's a horrifying thing, the more illicit and interesting the artwork will seem to your son.
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Mevater
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Wed, Feb 17 2016, 9:26 am
OP, is the neighborhood you live in, inhabited by more religious people than not religious, or the other way around?
If its a mostly religious neighborhood, these neighbors with the nude photo are clearly showing insensitivity to others and are not clueless.
If its a mostly not religious neighborhood, theyre probably clueless that it would bother anyone.
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naturalmom5
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Wed, Feb 17 2016, 9:46 am
| WhatFor wrote: | Ha. I'm well aware of what certain people think our tradition is. I'm trying to take it back.  |
GOOD LUCK
:ROFL
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thunderstorm
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Wed, Feb 17 2016, 10:01 am
| amother wrote: | no its not a joke, and I am feeling very much unheard.
Are you telling me that I have no reason to be annoyed? its perfectly fine for little boys to be exposed to naked pictures of women EVERY FREAKING DAY on the way back and forth from school?
there is another house in my neighborhood where pictures of actual [filth] are hung on the walls, and with the shades open and lights on and dark out, its inevitable that one day a kid of mine will notice. so far they havent, but I am upset that you cannot understand that this is at the very least unethical.
isnt there a law against exposing kids to [filth]?
is there noone that gets what I am saying? |
YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TELL ANYONE WHAT TO DO IN THEIR OWN HOME! You do have the right to move if it bothers you so much.
I grew up with the next door neighbors being nude themselves with open windows. I watched this fat mamma wash her dishes stark naked no underwear at all and I was all of 5 or 6..my siblings all saw the same. My mom's frum therapist told her that she should have moved since it can cause lifetime damage for children to see such behavior on a daily basis...well, we did not move and none of us were damage...we all grew up knowing that at least we had our core values set straight.
This is an opportunity to teach your children how proud they should be to be jews...
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Ruchel
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Wed, Feb 17 2016, 11:10 am
| dimyona wrote: | There is no appropriate way to tell someone else what to do in their own home.
Nudity is a reality; was there something particularly disturbing about this image? While I could well understand why you may choose not hang it, there's really no reason to freak out about having your children exposed to human anatomy.
Nudity in artwork is not [filth] by an stretch. You can educate your son about why you don't consider it tzanua, but please do not approach your neighbors. It will do a lot more harm than good. |
You can't order them anything but if it really shows from outside they may need to know for their own sake.
I'd never hang naked people in my house (what the hell?? and I say that as someone who was constantly at non Jewish homes as a public schooler).
relations also is a a reality, and even a very nice and holy one. It's definitely disturbing to see naked people for kids, and heck, for adults too. I'd be so uncomfortable seeing random strangers drawn naked. But again, never peer... he shouldn't have peered.
Now real naked neighbours? visible? call the police.
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dancingqueen
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Wed, Feb 17 2016, 11:40 am
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Ruchel the police here in America aren't going to come arrest someone for washing dishes naked in their own home. That is not a crime just possibly unsanitary.
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amother
Burlywood
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Wed, Feb 17 2016, 11:41 am
| Mevater wrote: | OP, is the neighborhood you live in, inhabited by more religious people than not religious, or the other way around?
If its a mostly religious neighborhood, these neighbors with the nude photo are clearly showing insensitivity to others and are not clueless.
If its a mostly not religious neighborhood, theyre probably clueless that it would bother anyone. |
It doesn't matter what the community is like. The art is on the INSIDE of their private domain. It doesn't matter if their curtains are open. It's THEIR house. They may like the art. They may not care. It isn't their problem you don't like it.
If they put up little David statues outside, then you can comment on sensitivity. But I can do what I want in my home and they can too. Welcome to the USA- it's a free country not a theocracy.
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Ema of 5
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Wed, Feb 17 2016, 11:48 am
| amother wrote: | no its not a joke, and I am feeling very much unheard.
Are you telling me that I have no reason to be annoyed? its perfectly fine for little boys to be exposed to naked pictures of women EVERY FREAKING DAY on the way back and forth from school?
there is another house in my neighborhood where pictures of actual [filth] are hung on the walls, and with the shades open and lights on and dark out, its inevitable that one day a kid of mine will notice. so far they havent, but I am upset that you cannot understand that this is at the very least unethical.
isnt there a law against exposing kids to [filth]?
is there noone that gets what I am saying? |
I haven't read anything beyond this post, so maybe someone else already brought this up. Why is it perfectly ok for your son to be looking into someone else's Windows? He may have seen something inappropriate, but that is for YOU to deal with. Perhaps tell your son not to look in others peoples houses and then you won't be so upset about what he sees in other people's private, personal places.
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Dandelion1
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Wed, Feb 17 2016, 12:16 pm
Poor op. I'm sorry, it's very frustrating. I'm sure we can all think of situations in which we felt our children were being unfairly exposed to something we would not like them to see.
The question is more how to address it. I got the sense that he is very young... I would be extremely casual about it and say something like "oh that's not our house, it's not polite to look inside". But only if you see him actively looking. If not, just ignore it, because you'll create an issue where there is none.
Are you certain he's noticed? If he has, and has commented on it directly, I would still recommend a very casual response, "well, I certainly don't care for that picture, good thing that's not our house!" and then follow up with "oh but remember, it's very impolite to look into other people's houses.... We wouldn't like if people did that...."
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mnas
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Wed, Feb 17 2016, 12:26 pm
I hear you
There are plenty of things your kids will learn one day on their own no reason for them to be exposed to it now.
unfortunately in todays world its all ok and allowed.
I dont think a person who hangs up [filth] ( yes its [filth] -call it art if you'd lke but im just wondering if you had gone to college and know what these art classes are called and what the professors say to encourage their student and models?) would be sympathetic.
I think you can tell your son" I know you were trying to look into the house ...when we walk outside our eyes wonder and its normal... ) and just maube say it to him in a way that Hashm gave him a test in Shmiras ainaim and your sure he'll pass it with flying colors
Hotzlocha!
| amother wrote: | no its not a joke, and I am feeling very much unheard.
Are you telling me that I have no reason to be annoyed? its perfectly fine for little boys to be exposed to naked pictures of women EVERY FREAKING DAY on the way back and forth from school?
there is another house in my neighborhood where pictures of actual [filth] are hung on the walls, and with the shades open and lights on and dark out, its inevitable that one day a kid of mine will notice. so far they havent, but I am upset that you cannot understand that this is at the very least unethical.
isnt there a law against exposing kids to [filth]?
is there noone that gets what I am saying? |
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mnas
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Wed, Feb 17 2016, 12:28 pm
great advice!! | aleph wrote: | Poor op. I'm sorry, it's very frustrating. I'm sure we can all think of situations in which we felt our children were being unfairly exposed to something we would not like them to see.
The question is more how to address it. I got the sense that he is very young... I would be extremely casual about it and say something like "oh that's not our house, it's not polite to look inside". But only if you see him actively looking. If not, just ignore it, because you'll create an issue where there is none.
Are you certain he's noticed? If he has, and has commented on it directly, I would still recommend a very casual response, "well, I certainly don't care for that picture, good thing that's not our house!" and then follow up with "oh but remember, it's very impolite to look into other people's houses.... We wouldn't like if people did that...." |
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mnas
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Wed, Feb 17 2016, 12:29 pm
As a Yid no
| amother wrote: | There is a difference between art and [filth], even if both may involve nudity.
Just a random question: can a person walk around naked in their own home? |
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Sadie
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Wed, Feb 17 2016, 12:50 pm
| mnas wrote: | | ( yes its [filth] -call it art if you'd lke but im just wondering if you had gone to college and know what these art classes are called and what the professors say to encourage their student and models?) |
I'm confused by this. What do you think the classes are called? And what do you think the professors say?
Last edited by Sadie on Wed, Feb 17 2016, 2:17 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Hotpink
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Wed, Feb 17 2016, 1:06 pm
| Heyaaa wrote: | | I think a more productive and appropriate thing to do would be to put curtains in your kids bedrooms and forbid them from watching. |
ya I think so too but I dont know about your kids maybe they are just so obedient but knowing my 8 9 and 10 year olds if I would put curtains up and tell them dont look I think they would look when I dont see.
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mnas
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Wed, Feb 17 2016, 1:11 pm
I dont think, I know
I went to college.
[quote="Sadie"] | mnas wrote: | ( yes its [filth] -call it art if you'd lke but im just wondering if you had gone to college and know what these art classes are called and what the professors say to encourage their student and models?)
I'm confused by this. What do you think the classes are called? And what do you think the professors say? |
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