On being a superwoman and shortcuts

thunderstorm

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 12:53 pm

crust wrote:

Thunderstorm here's a shortcut for this week; no pretreating those shirts. Dump them into the washer and go back on the couch.

(I hereby give you permission to ommit this pretreat anytime you feel like you are more worthy of a treat than those shirts.)

If I don't pretreat the shvitz stains on the collar and cuffs stay in. Trust me, I've tried being sneaky before😀. It just ruins it. I think I'll use my other shortcut ... have my teenage son do the pretreating... not sure if he will cooperate. He's getting annoyed that I keep having him do stuff (he has a point, I need to be careful not to take advantage of him)

InnerMe

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 12:57 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

I think the same.. that's why I do it.
Plus, dh's work involves some getting dirty. Some days the cuffs are black.
There's gotta be a different solution.

amother

Gray

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 12:59 pm

InnerMe wrote:

I think the same.. that's why I do it.
Plus, dh's work involves some getting dirty. Some days the cuffs are black.
There's gotta be a different solution.

Dry cleaners?

InnerMe

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 1:01 pm

amother wrote:

Dry cleaners?

Yes, dh actually suggested that a few times. But I can't see myself spending this money weekly (which adds up) when I can do it myself. I just would feel like I'm throwing out money. Perhaps I should though give it a shot, especially a time like now with so many shirts piled up..

thunderstorm

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 1:03 pm

InnerMe wrote:

I think the same.. that's why I do it.
Plus, dh's work involves some getting dirty. Some days the cuffs are black.
There's gotta be a different solution.

I don't do the toothbrush scrubbing or any scrubbing. I stopped that years ago. I spray OxyClean on the line by the collar and the cuffs. It sounds easy. But when you literally use an entir spray bottle and your thumb and wrist hurt from pushing the trigger so much , I feel like I can't go on... I know it sounds like I'm exaggerating. But there is just so so many shirts and it's also my worst chore.
My boys do help here and there and take turns with shpritzing the collars and cuffs but for the most part it's my headache. I always leave it for last and then I have no koach anymore to deal with it.

groovy1224

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 1:03 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

The thread about the mishpacha article got me thinking. Very often there are threads where a woman is overwhelmed and needs support. So everyone will chime in with different ideas to cut corners. Some examples: don’t bake, but takeout/pizza every once in a while, use plastic, get a few hours of cleaning help, don’t fold the laundry, send to the dry cleaners, etc....

The thing is, I already DO all these things. Today my kids wore their pajamas all day and went straight from the shower to new pajamas. If I think about how my day went, this is all I actually did:

Physical therapy appointment in from 8:30-11:00
Put in load of laundry
Served the kids pizza bagels for lunch
Went to the gym
Ordered pizza for supper
Put in another load of laundry
Played with my toddler on the floor for 10 minutes
Served the kids pizza
Bathed my toddler
Put him to sleep

Now I have to clean up the house and pack at least five boxes because we are moving in two weeks. But I am so tired!!!!

But really I did practically nothing all day. And even with all my short cuts, day after day passes and my lists get longer and longer and barely anything gets done.

I would love to change, but I really just don’t think it’s possible. As is, I use all my energy and focus to do whatever it is I do actually do. But its not enough, and I don’t think it ever will be.

I sometimes find that the order in which I do tasks makes a big difference. so say in the example you gave of your Sunday, I assume it's not possible to do physical therapy at a different time but can you go to the gym at night? Because in my case, going to the gym during the day is double the work it is at night.

When I go during the day, I come home to toys out, dishes on the table that have crusted because no one reminded the kids to rinse or soak, spills that dried and got sticky on the floor, etc. If I go at night (which I know is harder because you're tired) after I've straightened up for the day it has 2 benefits:

A)- it keeps me motivated to clean after the kids go to bed- the gym is my 'reward' for straightening up

B)- I know I'll come back to a house that looks more or less the way I left it

This example might not be feasible for you- depends on your kids and schedule; but I find that applying the principle where you can really helps. Going grocery shopping early in the morning (like really early, before work) and having it delivered late afternoon lets me beat the crowds, not spend time loading/unloading the car, not have to deal wit cranky kids in the store so I'm able to shop efficiently and get everything I need. Plus it leaves my afternoons free to greet my kids from the bus, feed the baby, and clean as I go here and there so it's not an absolute tornado in the evenings.

As a note though- you definitely did not do nothing!! You went to an appointment, the gym, and kept your kids alive and fed lol. That's plenty

thunderstorm

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 1:04 pm

amother wrote:

Dry cleaners?

I always wash the shirts before sending them to the dry cleaners anyway. My mother used to also do that. Otherwise they don't clean it well enough and the pressing sets the stains in.

mha3484

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 1:07 pm

I dont mind the pretreating because I can do it sitting down. I just sit on the couch with the pile of shirts and spray away. My husband really likes when they get soaked in oxi clean.That to me feels like the biggest pain. In theory it does not take that long but I am lazy.

InnerMe

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 1:07 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

You are not exaggerating. The spraying is actually harder for me! I used to do that with Oxygen but my fingers would get all bleachy, and it also takes time. Plus I'd get scared that everything around was getting sprayed and detergenty, and I don't have a laundry room so this would happen on my kitchen table. The scrubbing is more practical for me and maybe somewhat easier for me.

I'm with ya, sister.

amother

Gray

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 1:25 pm

Well I just dumped a whole white load in the machine without pre treating! I did use almost a half a bottle of bleach.... let’s see what happens
I also used Palmolive dish soap instead of detergent and it’s washing on hot.
DH’s shirts are black behind the collar. Teenage son has brown behind the collar. Little boys shirts just have stains all over ..
I’ll let you know soon if you should try this ...

anon for this

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 1:39 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

Could you give each of your sons a bottle and teach them to pretreat their shirts before they put them in the hamper?

987gold

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 1:46 pm

I use oxi clean powder and detergent and hot water and start wash for about 10-15 min. Let soak over night and start cycle over and let me know if most stains come out

InnerMe

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 1:49 pm

987gold wrote:

I use oxi clean powder and detergent and hot water and start wash for about 10-15 min. Let soak over night and start cycle over and let me know if most stains come out

I have read that leaving items to soak in the washing machine damages it.. but that sounds tempting. If someone can refute that.. I'd love to do this.

ra_mom

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 1:59 pm

InnerMe wrote:

I have read that leaving items to soak in the washing machine damages it.. but that sounds tempting. If someone can refute that.. I'd love to do this.

It's not ideal for the machine, but if you only do it sometimes and not always, it's ok. I did it too sometimes when I had a top loader. No more with the front loader. Smile

InnerMe

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 2:00 pm

ra_mom wrote:

It's not ideal for the machine, but if you only do it sometimes and not always, it's ok. I did it too sometimes when I had a top loader. No more with the front loader. Smile

I have a front loader.. and I was shirts weekly so that would probably be no good..

ra_mom

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 2:04 pm

InnerMe wrote:

I have a front loader.. and I was shirts weekly so that would probably be no good..

I don't think there's a way to soak clothes in the hot water and oxi overnight with a front loader.

InnerMe

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 2:04 pm

ra_mom wrote:

I don't think there's a way to soak clothes in the hot water and oxi overnight with a front loader.

Oh well.. there goes that Crying

thunderstorm

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 2:07 pm

ra_mom wrote:

I don't think there's a way to soak clothes in the hot water and oxi overnight with a front loader.

My SIL said she tried leaving shirts to soak in the front loader and the water drained out by itself. She has the same machine as me so I can't soak overnight but I used to do that when I had a top loader.

amother

Royalblue

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 2:23 pm

This is a great thread. I often feel like I'm in the twilight zone when I talk to other woman about finding it challenging to get all the basic home management stuff done. People so often seem to have no idea what I'm talking about, like I'm the only one who is not doing it all effortlessly. I've stopped talking about it with other women because it just makes me feel worse. I think I have found my soul sisters in this thread! It's HARD, right? I feel like if there was someone looking over my shoulder and seeing what I did in a day and if they could also feel how TIRED I am as I do it, they would give me a standing ovation. But I certainly don't do anything that would fall into the super woman catagory. I push myself HARD, but the bottom line result is a "kind of" clean house, and "good enough" meals etc. It's hard to put in a lot of effort and only achieve mediocre results. I know that I put my whole heart into *trying* to be a good wife and mother. Hopefully in the olam ha emes this is what truly matters. PS. Stain spraying the white shirts is also my worst job Wink

crust

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 2:39 pm

InnerMe wrote:

Crust I absolutely love the bolded!!!!!!!!
For me treating the shirts is my most dreaded job.. I HATE it.
I scrub each cuff & collar with a toothbrush that's dipped in Tide, because dh's shirts are so dirty, and it usually takes me close to an hour Crying

. If there's one housekeeping chore I can give up.. it would be this one. Sometimes dh helps me with it and then its not so bad...

Omg scrubbing with a toothbrush! Nuch doos felt mir ois!

Does it help?
If you say it absolutely takes everything out I might consider taking along a load of shirts to Florida next time I go on vacation. Seems like this collar scrubing cuff rubbing is something that can really fill my time.