Strangers, please don't talk to kids!!

GLUE

Fri, May 19 2023, 12:25 am

amother OP wrote:

Because you don't ask a child for help. Kids don't know who's a creep or not. It's just confusing for them. It's basic safety for an adult to not ask a child for help. There are other options besides for asking kids. Asking kids "do you live here?" Is especially inappropriate.

It's also basic safety for the parents to teach there children on how to deal with adults who ask them questions.

You have to live in the world you are in, if you live in a place were it is common that adults talk to kids and ask them questions,then you as a parent have to teach your kid on how to respond.

amother

Eggshell

Fri, May 19 2023, 12:26 am

amother OP wrote:

No, it's not. Because there's no way of knowing which stranger is safe and which stranger isn't.

I'm struggling to understand a "not safe" stranger in the context of a being asked directions.

amother

Fri, May 19 2023, 12:27 am

GLUE wrote:

Of course I teach my kids how to respond, bh they did well. This is just an awareness for adults to not talk to random kids or ask them for help.

amother

Fri, May 19 2023, 12:28 am

amother Eggshell wrote:

I'm struggling to understand a "not safe" stranger in the context of a being asked directions.

Creeps that target kids, often start with innocent questions like asking for directions. One of basic child safety rules, is not asking children for directions.

amother

Eggshell

Fri, May 19 2023, 12:29 am

amother OP wrote:

Of course I teach my kids how to respond, bh they did well. This is just an awareness for adults to not talk to random kids or ask them for help.

Sure don't ask random kids to get into your car and help you find your lost puppy. Agree. That sort of help shouldn't be asked of kids.

Please point me to XYZ - is fine.

amother

Eggshell

Fri, May 19 2023, 12:30 am

amother OP wrote:

Creeps that target kids, often start with innocent questions like asking for directions. One of basic child safety rules, is not asking children for directions.

No - the basic safety rule is "don't go with strangers". you seem to have this backwards.

amother

Fri, May 19 2023, 12:31 am

amother Eggshell wrote:

Sure don't ask random kids to get into your car and help you find your lost puppy. Agree. That sort of help shouldn't be asked of kids.

Please point me to XYZ - is fine.

I don't think so, especially if it comes along with "do you live here?" Most horror stories start with innocent questions such as those.

amother

Fri, May 19 2023, 12:32 am

amother Eggshell wrote:

No - the basic safety rule is "don't go with strangers". you seem to have this backwards.

Both are basic safety rules.
Don't go with strangers.
And adults shouldn't ask children for help.

amother

Eggshell

Fri, May 19 2023, 12:35 am

amother OP wrote:

I don't think so, especially if it comes along with "do you live here?" Most horror stories start with innocent questions such as those.

Again - teach your children not to answer personal questions.

Anyway - you've taught your kids not to talk to strangers - so you've armed them to say "I don't talk to strangers". You don't need a PSA for the grownups.

amother

Eggshell

Fri, May 19 2023, 12:36 am

amother OP wrote:

Both are basic safety rules.
Don't go with strangers.
And adults shouldn't ask children for help.

Its unsafe for the adult to ask children for help?

amother

Fri, May 19 2023, 12:37 am

amother Eggshell wrote:

Its unsafe for the adult to ask children for help?

Sure, it's unsafe for the children. Because they can't differentiate you from a creep.

DrMom

Fri, May 19 2023, 12:38 am

shaqued_almond wrote:

I'm going to get so many tomatoes for this but I think getting upset at small talk is a bit exaggerated. Even back in the day when we didn't tell kids to stay away from stranger not every stranger groomed and violated children. Kids are much more likely to become victimized by someone they know well.

No tomato-hurling from me. I think the OP's approach to stranger-danger has crossed the line into paranoia and can create socially off behavior in kids.

There is nothing wrong with asking a local resident for directions if you are lost.

Last edited by DrMom on Fri, May 19 2023, 12:38 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Fri, May 19 2023, 12:38 am

amother Eggshell wrote:

We obviously do.

amother

Fri, May 19 2023, 12:39 am

DrMom wrote:

An adult isn't lost on the street. Especially an adult that has waze or gps. If an adult needs directions, they should approach an adult for help rather than kids.
Bh my kids aren't socially off. Just don't stop to chat with my kid about the school project they're holding, especially if they're obviously uncomfortable.

amother

Eggshell

Fri, May 19 2023, 12:43 am

amother OP wrote:

Sure, it's unsafe for the children. Because they can't differentiate you from a creep.

Your child's safety is not at risk if a 'non-creep' adult asks them for directions.

If you teach your children that adults aren't supposed to talk to them (by some rule that all adults are supposed to follow) - you're misguiding them.

DustyDiamonds

Fri, May 19 2023, 12:44 am

Sometimes I feel like I live in a different universe than the safety conscious folks here!

When you are visiting family in another town, let’s say you live in Monsey and you’re at your sister in law in Lakewood for Shabbos, and you take your kids to the park, and you go back to your SIL with your little ones, leaving your 8 and 10 year old kids who want to stay at the park…. Do you want them to play there without making any new “friends”?

Oh, the park is a house away from your SIL’s house, there’s no streets to cross, it’s a quiet and safe neighborhood.

If I see a lonely looking 8 year old at the park when I’m there with my kids on Shabbos in my neighborhood, I may ask what’s your name, and would you like a turn on the swings, and introduce him to my son, and encourage them to take turns on the swings…

My park is in a residential area, and about a dozen families live within a 30 second walk to the park, and many more within 2 minutes of it…

GLUE

Fri, May 19 2023, 12:46 am

amother OP wrote:

Not every adult has waze or gps
What happens if you are driving and can't find the address, there are no adults outside. But there are a bunch of kids running around.

Why can't an adult ask one of the kids were the address is? What should the adult do park it's car and start ringing door bell? What next a PSA not to ring doorbells to ask for direction because that is very creepy behavior?

amother

Fri, May 19 2023, 12:47 am

GLUE wrote:

Yes, knock on a door and ask an adult.

amother

Eggshell

Fri, May 19 2023, 12:47 am

amother OP wrote:

We obviously do.

The opposite - if you've told your kids not to talk to strangers - then you don't need to tell the strangers not to talk to kids.

amother

Fri, May 19 2023, 12:48 am

amother Eggshell wrote:

You don't understand that creeps start out like this. By asking such questions. Why should any random adult approach my child to talk to them? For what reason?