bil "calling child abuse y we don't give ds a pacifier&

marina

Sun, May 30 2010, 2:42 pm

OP, it sounds like your inlaws are inmates in a mental asylum and I am puzzled as to why you would want your baby spending any time there. If it was me ( and sometimes I feel like my inlaws are right on the same floor with yours), I would allow supervised visitation of no more than two hours per week at your home. At all other times, the phone is on answering machine and the door is locked. They will most likely tire of it after a while.

amother

Tue, Jun 01 2010, 2:21 pm

(amother for identity purposes)

seriously, please don't leave your baby with them. babies learn nasty behaviors from a very young age. they also pick up on the energy and tension in the atmosphere and I can imagine he didn't feel too happy over at your il's.

this is just my opinion. but you need your space. they are uncessarily instrusive and sound a little off their rockers to be completely straight. do you want your children to have to deal with emotionally unstable grandparents when they get older?

you need to be just as persistent and vocal about your boundaries as they are.

refusing something to people like you are describing is as simple as repeating the same thing over and over, until it is drilled into their head and the other (confrontational) person sees you are not budging and leaves you alone. let them yell but they will realize it makes no difference to you. for example "No, you cannot come in, and I am closing the door. You need to leave. Goodbye." (and keep that door chain on LOL)

If my in laws were like this I would be seriously p*ssed off and refuse to see them at all. if they come around I would threaten them and possibly call the police (I've called police on a family member who was verbally and almost physically abusive to me once- to me its no big deal, I mean business. I'm extremely protective with myself and ppl close to me- and he never dared raise his voice to me/us again)

I would instruct everyone I know not to answer the phone when they call, or to say that its not a good time and just hang up. just say its a personal reason, nobody needs details.

I would run to another state, or country too..even if they find your new address its less likely for them to be knocking on your door too long..

Merrymom

Tue, Jun 01 2010, 5:49 pm

YALT wrote:

shanie5 wrote:

I would move to a different state-or maybe another country!! (and I am only partly joking here)

it's not like they have a job holding them down. They'd prob. follow OP to wherever they move.

Or they'd just come visit for a month, OR TWO (in the OP's house the whole time).

shanie5

Tue, Jun 01 2010, 10:18 pm

Merrymom wrote:

YALT wrote:

shanie5 wrote:

I would move to a different state-or maybe another country!! (and I am only partly joking here)

it's not like they have a job holding them down. They'd prob. follow OP to wherever they move.

Or they'd just come visit for a month, OR TWO (in the OP's house the whole time).

Okay, so I'd move w/o a forwarding address!! Or maybe give a false one!

DovDov

Mon, Jun 14 2010, 2:26 pm

amother wrote:

we hardly ever use a pacifier. the baby is not interested in it. we take care of him without the use of a pacifier.
we do have pacifiers but use them rarely.

my in-laws wanted to see the baby so my dh dropped him off at mil/fil house.
a few minutes later I get several phone calls and text messages from dh's divorced brother.
he's angry why we don't give our baby a pacifier.
his latest text message: "I'm calling child abuse, y don't you give him a pacifier"

what do you think of this?
WWYD?

Haven't read all the responses. I think two things:

1. maybe this kind of behavior is why he's divorced.

2. I would never trust him alone with my child. (a) he sounds unbalanced, and (b) he could fabricate abuse