Chizzuk for deciding not to nurse

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 11:13 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

thank you! I actually do know that I wont be overdue as I'm having a sceduled C two weeks (give or take) before my due date IYH
incidentally, how does this circumstance affect milk drying up etc. (assuming that my milk might be coming in a bit later probably?)

I had a c section and my milk came in regularly on the third day. Honestly I’d be more worried about feeling recovered enough from the c section for the Simcha more than engorgement . Not to scare you....I hope it all goes smoothly and you have a quick recovery!

keym

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 11:17 am

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

No, you're wrong. It's the milk that makes the difference, the bonding is a side benefit. Breastmilk is a LOT healthier than formula, and formula comes with health risks that breastmilk DOES NOT have.

You're forgetting the side effects of breast milk.
Every single thing the mother ingests goes to the baby. Pain meds after birth, advil, antacid, antibiotics, anti depressants. All the food.
For some mothers (myself included) that means a piece of cheese, cup of coffee, handful of chocolate chips, plate of salad, and I'd have a screaming, miserable, unconsolable baby who's tummy was hurting.

amother

Linen

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 11:20 am

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

I’m not even gonna argue with you because we all know that you are wrong.
Literally what difference does the milk make? Name one benefit that the actual breast milk has that formula doesn’t, besides for the price. And after you do, everyone feel free to disprove it.

amother

Slateblue

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 11:29 am

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

Antibodies, oxytocin, melatonin according to time of day, enzymes, changes according to baby's growth (milk from a mom who just had a preemie is different than milk from a mom who gave birth at 42 weeks), should I go on?

keym wrote:

No, you're wrong. Not everything that the mother ingests passes into her milk, only some things do. And even what passes into the milk isn't always there in large amounts, it depends on the substance and the amount ingested.
It's very rare that mom's diet adversely effects the baby in the way that you're describing. When it does that's usually a very sensitive baby who also has problems on most/ all formulas.

honeymoon

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 11:32 am

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

Breastmilk doesn't have the junk that formula has. High fructose corn syrup for example. I give formula too when needed, but saying it's as good a breastmilk is deluding yourself.

While I mostly breastfeed my babies, I always make sure to introduce formula to them within a few weeks of birth. I like to have the option of giving a bottle when I leave the baby at a babysitter (I hate pumping!), on a fast day etc. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

amother

Oak

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 11:35 am

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

https://kidshealth.org/en/pare......html
https://www.medela.com/breastf.....rmula
https://www.webmd.com/baby/bre.....ing#1

Quote:

Breast milk is good for your baby in many ways:

It provides natural antibodies that help your baby resist illnesses, such as ear infections.
It's usually more easily digested than formula. So breastfed babies are often less constipated and gassy.
It may lower the risk of sudden infant death syndrome in the first year of your baby's life.
It may raise your child's intelligence. Studies show breastfed babies have higher levels of cognitive function.
Breast milk may even help your child in later years, by reducing the risk of being overweight, and of developing asthma, type 1 and type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, Hodgkin's disease, leukemia, and lymphoma.
Breastfeeding is good for moms, too. Women who breastfeed have a reduced risk of breast cancer, diabetes, heart disease, osteoporosis, and ovarian cancer.

But let's not forget a key reason many new moms want to breastfeed. It's a wonderful bonding experience with your baby.

amother

Blush

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 11:36 am

Didn't read through the responses but wanted to share two things. My pediatrician was categorically against forcing bf. He said a sane mother is more important than bf considering the hight quality of baby formula available on the market.

With my oldest I forced it and I regret it. It wasn't good for either of us. My next three had no problems with bf and weren't weaned till 14/15 months. My 5th also didn't bf. Every child is different.

There are many advantages to bf but if you have access to modern formula and clean water and can properly sanitize your bottles then the advantages conferred pale in comparison to a functional mother.

ETA; MAZAL TOV!

keym

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 11:39 am

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

I really wish I knew who I was talking to/why you need to go amother for this.
Anyways.
No. Every substance a mother ingests goes to the baby. However, not all pass in a high enough amount to be concerning.
And I have allergic kids. I nursed all of them until I starved, and then put them on hyper allergenic formula.
I have talked to doctors, allergists, allergy support groups, fellow mothers.
Close to 80% of the people in my world have to avoid at least something if not multiple things while nursing.
I know it's not proper statistics, but I do think it's way more common than imagined.

amother

Slateblue

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 11:39 am

amother [ Blush ] wrote:

Reminds me, a lot of research shows a link between short or no breastfeeding and autism, but its not clear if the autism was caused partly because the baby was not breastfed/ EBF for six months, or if the lack of BF/ EBF was caused by the baby's unique difficulties as an autistic child. All we know is that there is a positive correlation between autism diagnosis and not ebf until six months.

amother

Periwinkle

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 11:42 am

Please dont kill me for this post.

I had a VERY hard time nursing my kids, I had to supplement with a bottle every feeding. I took lots of vitamins and meds to help me and I gained about 30 pounds nursing each kid (I'm not skinny to start with). When my last kid was born I told my husband I don't want to nurse, he said he really wanted me to so I told him to ask our rav, I was sure he would side with me. He actually said that I should nurse, even for a little and even if I have to supplement etc... He said the Chazon Ish said babies get Emuna through nursing. (I heard a shiur somewhere else... don't remember the details but how Moshe Rabeinu and Shmuel Hanovi were both nursed by their mothers and it was so important that Torah makes a big deal of it)

Every person has to make their own decision and it has to work, BUT this is an important piece of info that should be included in your decision.

Again, I would never judge anyone for their decision and I know firsthand that nursing can be REALLY REALLY HARD, But research this tidbit before making your decision.

amother

Oak

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 11:46 am

amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:

Wow, that's intresting!

banana123

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 11:51 am

amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:

I've heard similar - that they receive ahavat Hashem and yirat Hashem.

There is a source for it, but I can't remember where.

amother

Turquoise

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 11:56 am

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

Antibodies and immunity.

amother

Beige

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 12:29 pm

Yes, chances are even if you never gave baby a drop of mother's milk he/she would be fine. You might even find the formula-fed baby to be healthier/thinner/smarter than their nursed counterparts.

That does not change the fact that STATISTICALLY, many risks are elevated because of formula feeding. They are B"H not so concerning as to make it medically sound advice for mothers to torture themselves to avoid formula, but let's stop with the "feel-good" but inaccurate message that formula is equal to or better than nursing.

It's not. And that's okay. We all make suboptimal choices in parenting because there's more to the picture than just one specific area of benefit.

So I exclusively nurse and skip some baths, you bathe every night and give formula. No reason to feel guilty for being a human with limitations. It's a suboptimal choice, not a bad one.

amother

Ivory

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 12:35 pm

amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:

My milk came in quite. A bit later with c/s than with vaginal: I wasn’t fully dried up till like 10 days post

amother

Dodgerblue

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 12:36 pm

I breastfeed all my kids and I believe it’s a great gift. Buuuuuuut,I wish I would have bottle fed my oldest.
I had things going on that made nursing very difficult and because I was so brainwashed about nursing I would not give a bottle.
He would be much better off if I lovingly and calmly gave him a bottle whenever he cried. (I also didn’t have enough milk supply and my nipples were so sore that I was bleeding. Was a nightmare).
Fed is best.
And loving mom lovely baby.

lamplighter

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 12:55 pm

I formula feed my babies. I thought Id get some support for a very hard choice I needed to make.
And now Im in tears. Newly postpartum. Hormonal. And all my feelings of guilt and shame reawakened. Thanks for that guys.
Why can't you just stay in your lane. Keep the patronizing posts on a thread about chizuk for breastfeeding.

southernbubby

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 12:59 pm

My youngest spent his first 157 days in the NICU and I tried pumping, breastfeeding, etc but it didn't work and he ended up totally on formula but BH he is a good son despite all of that.
I certainly don't judge anyone who does what is best for the situation. My mother didn't breastfeed any of us and at 65 I survived Covid so formula must have been good for me. My mother, who was breastfed, only lived to be 63 so I think that we have to look at the big picture. Formula usually will agree with the baby and won't harm his health. He may still live to be 100 regardless of what his mother feeds him, including junk food.
Basically, we are fortunate to have alternatives so that we can raise healthy children while still preserving the physical and mental health of the mother.