S/O Bathroom Usage - So disappointed in our teachers

amother

Honey

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 1:29 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

High school is different than elementary school. I teach in high school also, and I don't know any teachers who don't allow bathroom use in high school. Although if the kids are out more than 10 minutes it's a cut / affects their grade.
Also, in high school , every 45 minutes, there is a transition time between classes and 99% of teachers are more than ok with students coming a minute late because they stopped in the bathroom.

I never had this experience in high school. The stress of not coming late to class was enough for me not to use the bathroom when I needed it

notshanarishona

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 3:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

I am very troubled from your post. Of course I stop.If you care about your kid what’s the point of your expensive lessons if the kid is uncomfortable. I don’t understand this. Going to the bathroom is a priority it comes before your lesson and a fancy private lesson that I paid for as well. This post really triggers me.
I hope as a teacher you are flexible and allow your students to go the bathroom.

I let students go to the bathroom probably about 80% of the time and my students know which time is emergency only. I think too many parents are taking this emotionally and not realizing that most of the time that kids are not actually deprived from going to the bathroom, they are deprived of unlimited breaks. I have been a teacher for about 15 years and worked in many schools .
And as a swim instructor (my 2nd job), I can’t tell you how many parents tell their kid to just hold it in when it’s on their dime. I am the one telling the kids to go so they don’t have an accident in the pool.

notshanarishona

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 3:18 pm

amother Honey wrote:

I never had this experience in high school. The stress of not coming late to class was enough for me not to use the bathroom when I needed it

20-30 years ago, I also remember being scared to be late but I would go to the bathroom in between classes , just would run .
As someone who works in a high school, I see all the time students who couldn’t care less even if I do mark them late or cut.
We aren’t increasing the expectations, students today are held to much lower standards than I remember as a student.
I haven’t seen any student who holds in going to the bathroom.

amother

Silver

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 3:33 pm

amother Mint wrote:

So be it.
Maybe some teachers also do that. So do teachers not allow themselves to go the bathroom when needed, either??

No, of course not. I've been a teacher for 20 years and never gone to the bathroom during class. I go during break time. We cannot leave the class while teaching.

What jobs do you all have that you can just go to the bathroom the second you have the urge to?

amother

Mint

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 3:39 pm

amother Silver wrote:

Office jobs, honestly.
I understand what you’re saying, but if you needed the bathroom between 2 of your classes, you would use it, and come a few minutes late to your next class, if necessary. For students, that becomes a big deal.
Most teachers also don’t have as long a day as students do, so that changes things, too.

amother

Tulip

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 4:15 pm

amother Mauve wrote:

I’m not a teacher, never was, and out of school for over 20 years-BH

Isn’t it part of responsibility to take care of your personal needs before class?

I get it there are emergencies.

Reminds me of 10th grade.
One of the girls in the class raised her hand to go to the bathroom and the teacher said No.
She begged "please...I really need to go"
The teacher asked exasperatedly "what were you doing during recess??"
The girl answered "drinking!"

It was funny but so true. Ok so we used the bathroom during recess, an hour and a half ago. We also had a drink during that 10 minute period.
Now we need to go!

amother

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 4:23 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

You may have taught for many years and that doesn’t excuse or or make it right that 20% of the time you don’t allow the students to go to the bathroom. Have rachmanus as a teacher and let the girls go 100% of the time. I believe a teacher will have to give a din v’chesbon for not allowing a student to go. It’s wrong and nothing you are teaching trumps a basic human need.
This isn’t about parents getting emotional. It’s about teachers making poor and unkind choices.

amother

Marigold

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 4:31 pm

amother Lemon wrote:

My daughter is in high school and last week during halacha class (with a Rabbi teacher no less) a girl needed to leave the class to go to the bathroom and took her knapsack with her (hamayvin yavin). Teacher asked why she was bringing her bag (!!!) and girl was so embarrassed that she sat back down and said never mind. After telling me that story I told my daughter to take extra sanitary materials and tell everyone that she has a "gemach" in her locker and to just take from her locker if any of them every need. Seichel please!

My dds HS has in the bathroom. Every girls HS should have.

amother

NeonOrange

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 4:32 pm

amother Skyblue wrote:

I just want to say that we all remember the teachers who didn’t let us use the bathroom when we needed it; You’re not remembered fondly.
You’re one of the people whom we learned what not to do based on your teachings.
Our kids will grow up hearing stories of “that mean/nasty teacher who didn’t let mommy go to the bathroom”

the one who now needs to ask forgiveness. Banging head

amother

Clover

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 4:50 pm

People really don't take the health angle seriously, but as a teacher, you don't see the long reaching effects of chronic dehydration and being trained to ignore bodily needs. You also don't see the trauma caused by the humiliation of having bathroom needs treated like a character flaw, or worse, having an accident in class. It may be harder to run a classroom without restricting bathroom use, but that's not an excuse for a human rights violation.

amother

Hawthorn

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 4:57 pm

amother Mint wrote:

Unless you teach high school, teachers often have 3-4 hours of straight working with no bathroom break. In a true emergency I'd call the office for coverage but it was a big deal and a couple of times I was told sorry, nobody is available to come to your room.

Personally I'm pretty lenient with students going to the bathroom but don't assume teachers get breaks every 45 minutes. Or that they can be late for class. Not in elementary. There is real data out there that shows teachers as a whole tend to have bladder issues because of this.

amother

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 5:04 pm

amother Clover wrote:

Wish we could pin this post. You said this so well.

amother

Azure

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 5:34 pm

I guess I don't really get why everyone is getting so emotionally worked up about this. As adults we don't drop everything the first moment we feel an urge to go. We can wait. If you can't wait at all from first needing the toilet, I would suggest seeing a dr. People should be able to hold off for some time.
Incontinence is a medical issue.
I think most reasonable teachers are saying that we don't stop girls going when they need to, we just encourage them to only go if they really need. The majority of people can wait 1 hour or so to go to the bathroom. Without having any sort of system, the teaching would fall apart.
I personally have used the hall pass system where I have a lanyard hanging by the classroom door and if you need to go, you take the lanyard. If someone else needs to go, they have to wait for the first girl to come back. Most people can usually wait those few minutes until the first girl returns. If the first girl is taking too long, I will make a judgement call on allowing the second girl to go. I know in the younger grades they have multiple lanyards so that a few girls can go at a time.
I think it's a great lifeskill to teach students that you don't have to go to the toilet the first instance. And the reality of life as a parent is that I'm lucky if I get 2 minutes to get to the toilet.
I'm not trying to stop students going to the toilet, I'm just trying to ensure I have some students left in my class to teach.

amother

Forsythia

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 5:43 pm

amother Azure wrote:

Why would you have no one left to teach? Is your class so boring that no one wants to participate?
Teachers keep saying that they're worried everyone is gonna leave. Maybe we need to rethink our boring education model of frontal teaching lecture style (especially in high school) and then kids won't be finding excuses to leave

I'm an OT in a school and I pull kids out of class. There are some teachers that run such engaging classroom that no student wants to miss their class. And then there are others......

amother

Mustard

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 6:05 pm

I'll never forget it.

It was in high school. A girl went to the bathroom. A little bit later she got up to go again. The teacher told her she already went and she can't go again. She gave the teacher such a devastated look that thankfully the teacher let her go.

A month or so later this girl was hospitalized for a few weeks for collapsing from dehydration.. she had had yet undiagnosed crohns/colitis (she had a horrible primary doctor that poo-pood everything) that was finally diagnosed during her hospital day and she was able to get the help she needed.

amother

Wine

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 6:38 pm

amother Silver wrote:

An adult, and even a high school student, can't be compared to a younger child. Not physically and not mentally. I don't tell my dh to use the bathroom before we leave for a drive, but I do tell my second grader to.

internationalma

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 6:48 pm

amother OP wrote:

I’m frankly shocked to read how many teachers
still view going to the bathroom as a privilege. Makes me want to cry.

So I’m not reading all the replies . BUT
I am a high school teacher and I can tell you that students have enough break to go to the bathroom not during lesson time.
As a teacher you often have a pattern of students who “really need” the bathroom . Teachers have an incredible hard time teaching while students are in and out of a classroom ( even when no one leaves it’s often difficult) . How often do you use the bathroom??
If your healthy you should be able to manage to sit in class until break.
I also know that girls can get their periods ect and really need to leave but as a teacher you can tell those that go and come back straight away vs those that go to chat in the bathroom.
As a matter of fact the principal in the school I work in, often reminds the teachers the non bathroom breaks during lessons .
If your child needs a little break often for some health reason , you should talk to the school to let them of her condition.

Genius

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 6:48 pm

amother Wine wrote:

I agree with you. But

The hysteria on this thread is equal with regard to high school and second grade students.

Anecdotally the one student I had, who had bladder issues, left not once throughout an entire year.

Seems like my classes are indeed engaging. Pat on my back.

internationalma

Wed, Oct 25 2023, 6:57 pm

amother OP wrote:

Op did you ever teach a class full of students??
It’s impossible to just have rachmanus a let them go . The school would look like a zoo.
When a child knows the rule they make sure to go when they are allowed to , not when they are suddenly desperate.
When you go for a long drive you take your kids to the bathroom because you can’t be stopped on the highway ect .. it’s the same.
When you serve supper at 6pm you make sure your kids eat on time so they don’t ask you at bedtime for food because they are starving … and that’s not called, not having rachmanus .