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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
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Blessing1
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 6:51 pm
amother [ Khaki ] wrote: | I'm so curious, is it none of your business if your neighbor is a rapist, as long as he doesn't rape you? |
If you know halacha you know that rape, abuse, or if one's life is in danger, you may report.
This has been rehashed countless times on here.
Last edited by Blessing1 on Mon, Jul 06 2020, 6:53 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Blessing1
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 6:53 pm
shabbatiscoming wrote: | OK, we are assuming by all of your "its assur to report" that this neighbor is jewish.
Is there not a jewish idea that "kol yisrael areivim ze la ze"? That every single jew is responsible for the next jew?
Im sorry but thats just not true. We are very much responsible for every single Jew.
And that is also why, maybe not in this instance, but in other more extreme cases, where reporting MUST be done (lets go really extreme with s3xual abuse. You go straight, do not pass go, you do not collect 200 dollars, straight, to the authorities.) |
Right, in these cases we must report.
But others illegal activity does not fall into the category of lives in danger.
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ruchelbuckle
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 6:54 pm
OP: where do you live? I am asking because do you have a city councilman (or something similar) that can advise you? Or maybe there is a tenants advocate program in your city?
A while back, my friend lived in a two family house on top of frum neighbors (my friend was the tenant). Unfortunately, the fighting Between the family members in the in the landlords apartment was really out of control and it affected her quality of life (actually her little kids). She broke her lease without penalty— someone at her city councilman’s office was able to point her to some clause in the city’s code of renters rights (or something similar) that obligated the landlord to provide a “safe, quiet, peaceful home” or something like that.... this was not in NY or NJ, but it’s worth looking into. Also, if you post where you live, maybe others have gone through a similar experience and can tell you what they did, or if there is a certain Rav who is experienced in these types of neighborhood issues, etc....
Everyone is making so black and white- “report them” or “live with it”— but there might be a good in between solution.
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Simple1
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 6:54 pm
On a practical note, this might just be one of those annoying things that you can't do anything about. Do you really want to cause a riff with your next door neighbor?
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sunflower_seed
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 7:05 pm
OP,
I'm really sorry for your situation.
I would gently let them know that it's bothering you. Maybe they can go out to nearby playgrounds for some time or divide kids. Constant noise can be a huge stress factor.
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amother
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 7:07 pm
OP, are the neighbors jewish?
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amother
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 7:12 pm
everyone is responsible for each other does not equal snitching is cool
kind of disingenuous
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amother
Blush
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 7:15 pm
amother [ Cerise ] wrote: | was not picturing a "full fledged camp" of 100s of kids
a backyard camp as I know is like what 10 kids?
yes it would be great if the illegal and dangerous fireworks were shut down
AYLOR |
The original post specified 20-30 kids.
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amother
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 8:01 pm
Blessing1 wrote: | [/b]
Right, in these cases we must report.
But others illegal activity does not fall into the category of lives in danger. | Cool. Where did you get smicha from. I know of a story where a mainstream rav in the tristate area allowed someone to report a noise issue to the cops. I can’t reveal details but I know part of the reasoning was that the culprits would just get scared and no legal ac ion would be taken.
Besides op clearly said she has no intention of calling the cops. So I’m not sure why you took over the thread with this argument.
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amother
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 8:06 pm
amother [ Pearl ] wrote: | OP, are the neighbors jewish? |
Yes! I'm sorry, I thought I mentioned that.
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amother
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 8:07 pm
sunflower_seed wrote: | OP,
I'm really sorry for your situation.
I would gently let them know that it's bothering you. Maybe they can go out to nearby playgrounds for some time or divide kids. Constant noise can be a huge stress factor. |
I will try that. Thank you!
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amother
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 8:12 pm
Op is the noise bothering your baby?
I’d say play music or wear headphones.
If baby is napping in another room, use a baby monitor so you’ll hear her.
If your baby is disturbed think about if there’s some way you can beef up the soundproofing. Maybe seal the windows.
It’s annoying but unless you’re willing to be tough and start up with your neighbor there isn’t much you can do.
I’ve been there and done that. They tell you how bad they feel and there isn’t much they can do but they’ll try.
And then it doesn’t get any better and you steel yourself and nudge again, and on it goes.
If you’re in a frum neighbor this is par for the course. If you own or you’re planning to live there long You should definitely look into investing in soundproofing.
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ROFL
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 8:16 pm
I can see the headline :
group of 20 children are COVID positive with symptoms of Kawasaki disease.
Neighbors did not report illegal camp cuz Rabbi Blessings1 on ima mother said it is assur !
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pause
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 8:17 pm
amother [ Purple ] wrote: | It's equally as assur to run an illegal day camp. Dina demalchusa dina.
Shabbat is coming should be proud. Proud that she understands the tremendous scope of halacha and the myriad of possibilities. |
And here we go again....
Dina demalchusa dina does not give you the right to report. One person's sin doesn't make your sin permissible. The neighbor is wrong, but it doesn't mean you can now do wrong as well.
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avrahamama
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 8:18 pm
ROFL wrote: | I can see the headline :
group of 20 children are COVID positive with symptoms of Kawasaki disease.
Neighbors did not report illegal camp cuz Rabbi Blessings1 on ima mother said it is assur ! |
Chas vShalom
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ShishKabob
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 8:19 pm
pause wrote: | And here we go again....
Dina demalchusa dina does not give you the right to report. One person's sin doesn't make your sin permissible. The neighbor is wrong, but it doesn't mean you can now do wrong as well. | This
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Blessing1
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 8:22 pm
amother [ Pink ] wrote: | Cool. Where did you get smicha from. I know of a story where a mainstream rav in the tristate area allowed someone to report a noise issue to the cops. I can’t reveal details but I know part of the reasoning was that the culprits would just get scared and no legal ac ion would be taken.
Besides op clearly said she has no intention of calling the cops. So I’m not sure why you took over the thread with this argument. |
Where does semicha come in here?
The key word hear is a Rav allowed it. The first response to OP's post is that she can report them, no mention of asking a Rav was made. No, she can't just report them. I find it so ironic that on a frum site when someone says you can report, no one makes anything of it and if one mentions that it's assur to report, she gets so much backlash. Such middos tovos and good heartedness going on here, I'm amazed.
Last edited by Blessing1 on Mon, Jul 06 2020, 8:27 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Blessing1
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 8:24 pm
ROFL wrote: | I can see the headline :
group of 20 children are COVID positive with symptoms of Kawasaki disease.
Neighbors did not report illegal camp cuz Rabbi Blessings1 on ima mother said it is assur ! |
This has nothing to do with covid. Kids can get covid in legal camps just as well. OP is bothered by the noise, not by covid.
You want to bash and make fun of me and curse klal yisroel, go ahead. It still doesn't make reporting ok.
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Miri1
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 8:25 pm
amother [ Hotpink ] wrote: | OP, maybe you can get noise canceling headphones.
I live in a building on the marina.
View is beautiful, but
The yacht workers blast music at night
City says they are allowed to until 12 pm
I like to go to sleep early, before 10.
It’s annoying but if there is nothing you can do
then try to find a viable solution |
Do they ever give you nausea or dizziness?
I've heard some people can't tolerate them.
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shabbatiscoming
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Mon, Jul 06 2020, 8:26 pm
Blessing1 wrote: | Where does semicha come in here?
The key word hear is a Rav allowed it. The first response to OP's post is that she can report them, no mention of asking a Rav was made. No, she can't just report them. I find it so ironic that on a frum site when someone says you can report, no one makes anything of it and if one mentions that it's assur to report, she gets so much backlash. Such middos tovos going on here. | Why should she have mentioned a rav? I will quote what you replied to me up thread:
"Yes it's assur and everyone knows that.
I thought it's self understood that when a frum jew has a sheila, they ask a Rav. I didn't think I need to spell that out to a frum women."
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