love is blind | Imamother

chocolate moose

Sun, Dec 20 2009, 7:15 pm

amother wrote:

chocolate moose wrote:

amother wrote:

in order for me to be able to walk at all, I have to wait until my DH comes home from work and he takes care of the baby (supper and bath) and then he leaves for his nightly gym time too.
but BH I actually did it tonight, so maybe it will be a start in the right direction.

you can join a gym with babysitting, you know.

I am not going to do that. it is money (while walking is free) and I hate exercising in front of other people.

Check your health insurance policy - mine pays for my gym in full !!!![b]

KAlex

Mon, Dec 21 2009, 1:45 am

PinkFridge wrote:

Not to answer for Kalex but I have a hunch she may be ahead of us timewise and closer to sleep. I've heard English people use the term creche for babysitting services. Many of us have a VERY different image when we hear that word, especially at this time of year...

Yes, for me a crèche is a nursery, or place where young children are looked after. What else would it be? (Curious) (And yes, I was asleep by the time it was questioned, so thanks!)

I was just thinking that if both the OP and her DH want to exercise at the same time, and his gym could look after the baby, this might work out just as well as her going to one that could, since she doesn't want to for other reasons.

amother

Mon, Dec 21 2009, 2:36 am

KAlex wrote:

PinkFridge wrote:

no there is no babysitting at my husband's gym.

amother

Mon, Dec 21 2009, 2:36 am

chocolate moose wrote:

amother wrote:

chocolate moose wrote:

amother wrote:

you can join a gym with babysitting, you know.

I am not going to do that. it is money (while walking is free) and I hate exercising in front of other people.

Check your health insurance policy - mine pays for my gym in full !!!![b]

nope, where I live it is not under the insurance.

amother

Mon, Dec 21 2009, 3:58 pm

Well consider yourself lucky. I have gained about 20 lbs since my marriage and yesterday my husband said to me- so do you think we could make a limit or is that not nice. on further questioning he meant a limit of how heavy I can be excluding pregnancy. and the number he came up with is only 5 lbs more then I currently am....

jewels

Tue, Dec 22 2009, 5:40 pm

I think your husband is really really sweet for saying all that to you, but I totally agree with chocolate moose, he probably was being tactful.. Most men tend to notice when their wives put on weight even if it's over a few years. But consider yourself really blessed that your husband loves you enough to be so caring with you and your feelings, and for not making you feel ugly or unattractive because of some weight gain.

Walking does work - as long as it's a brisk walk and its every day or at least a solid several times a week.

amother

Wed, Dec 23 2009, 4:15 am

jewels wrote:

that is exactly what I am aiming to do Smile

jewels

Wed, Dec 23 2009, 9:29 am

amother wrote:

jewels wrote:

that is exactly what I am aiming to do Smile

Good luck!!! Also try once or twice to walk with him. When I was in my walk every day stage (I'm so bad now - I dont do it!) my husband was working insane hours but every so often I'd get him to come home from the office early, get a baby sitter and walk for an hour. Plus he's way taller than me so he naturally walked faster and I had to push to keep up with him.

PinkFridge

Wed, Dec 23 2009, 1:21 pm

I've been looking for some good outdoor walking as I don't feel like driving to a mall. Check this out: if you live near municipal buildings, like city hall, or a public school with a lot of sidewalk, likely it's going to be cleared very well all the time. I found a great half mile stretch nearby so I can get in my 3 miles without going crazy ;-)

amother

Wed, Dec 23 2009, 1:53 pm

jewels wrote:

amother wrote:

jewels wrote:

that is exactly what I am aiming to do Smile

as I mentioned earlier, I can not walk with DH as he is watching our daughter while I walk (and no we are not going to all go with the carraige as well, I want some ME time too, so thats another nice thing about the walk)

but BH I have been able to walk twice this week so far, so thats already an improvement as before now I did nothing but be a couch potato.

louche

Wed, Dec 23 2009, 2:16 pm

greenfire wrote:

love can be tactful as moosey says ... and I like that saying cause it means we have enough sense to know that real love is not based on body size but a relationship from the heart ...

Some men--may their tribe increase!--have a mental image of their wives as they were when they met, and that's the image they carry around with them. Reality doesn't intrude and they don't notice the changes time brings. Isn't that lovely?

And some men--may their tribe increase!--are wise and wonderful, and if they notice changes that are less than flattering, are smart enough to play dumb. And their wives, if they're equally smart, will not pursue the matter but will accept "Really? I never noticed" with a smile and a kiss, and send up a silent "Thank You" to the KBH for giving them a hubs who is so "clueless".

PinkFridge

Wed, Dec 23 2009, 2:55 pm

louche wrote:

greenfire wrote:

love can be tactful as moosey says ... and I like that saying cause it means we have enough sense to know that real love is not based on body size but a relationship from the heart ...

My uncle and aunt were (B"H aunt still is) the all time greatest pair. I don't know if they looked at each other and took each in as he/she was, with the accumulation of the years with love, or if the years melted away, but they were awesome together.

Marz613

Fri, Dec 25 2009, 2:41 am

I was 50 lbs heavier after my 3rd baby than I was at my wedding 6 years ago, my dh didnt say much, I know he still found me attractive, but he encouraged me to lose the weight b/c I was so upset about it. having lost almost 30 lbs at this point, 2 months later, he has definately noticed and continues to compliment and encourage me. there is no doubt in my mind that my dh had noticed, but im not sure he would have said anything had I not. I even remember asking him if he noticed that I gained so much weight, and I have a vague recollection of his saying not really. him just being tactful IMO!

amother

Tue, Jan 05 2010, 6:20 pm

I am quite overweight unfortunately, my husband nevr officially complains but he's mentioned on many ocasions that it would be nice to have my old size back... however he is anything but encouraging. when I diet he only critiseze what I do wrong. he'll buy nice chocolate ''for the kids'' and put it in the fridge, and than give me dirty looks if I take a piece... he'll ask every day: did you loose weight today!!! anyways it's really very painful shower of comments. I've told him it's not helping but he can't seem to stop.
when I'm not dieting and being my usual self (pigging too much) he is prince charming... I don't know why that is so, but usually after a month of holding back a full sized fight I stop dieting...
I really hope those men who don't notice weight gain exist... it's good to know

life'sgreat

Tue, Jan 05 2010, 9:12 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

amother wrote:

chocolate moose wrote:

amother wrote:

you can join a gym with babysitting, you know.

I am not going to do that. it is money (while walking is free) and I hate exercising in front of other people.

Check your health insurance policy - mine pays for my gym in full !!!![b]

Really? Which insurance do you have if I may ask? What would I ask my insurance company? If they pay for gym, or do I use other sophisticated jargon?

life'sgreat

Tue, Jan 05 2010, 9:16 pm

amother wrote:

That must be really really tough. I think you need to sit down with him and explain it in terms he would understand. I've done that in the past and it worked. Ask him how he'd feel if you start hounding him about something that he's lax in. Let's take learning, or getting up for minyan or other somesuch. Ask him how he'd feel if every time he's running late, or chooses to chill instead of learning, you'll be giving him dirty looks. You need to let him know that he's sabotaging your diet by being hurtful to you, watching you, AND bringing home chocolates in the first place.

If I were you I'd say that I will not diet again until you can tell you will not even look my way and/or ask me about my progress.

Denver007

Thu, Jan 07 2010, 6:13 pm

I think love is blind, but physical attraction isn't. The love is always there, but I've noticed that my DH is more attracted to me when I am more fit.

There are actually exercise videos for walking at home. I haven't seen one yet, but I've put it on hold at the library.

For me, I either need an exercise partner or have videos/equipment at home in order to work out. I don't know how many times I've joined a gym, gone regularly for a few weeks and then given up.