how long can my baby sleep in my room?

pinkbubbles

Mon, Dec 21 2009, 11:01 am

When you are both ready you should start slowly, moving his crib foot by foot away from your bed so its not a sudden harsh switch. If you can you can do it, eventually move him to the hallway right outside your door and then to his room. This is what I did and had no problems (I did it at 6 months of age though)

gold21

Mon, Dec 21 2009, 12:04 pm

I think around 9 months is ideal. Much earlier is hard cuz they wake up so much at night and that is exhausting, and besides they so sleep much better next to Mom. Much later isnt ideal either imho. I think its healthy for a couple to have their space, without always a baby in the room. So I say when the baby is ready to move out of mom's room, why delay it? Whats to gain?

Hashem_Yaazor

Mon, Dec 21 2009, 12:20 pm

Gold, how do you decide that the baby is "ready" to move out of the room?
My babies needed me at a year still and frequently snuggled in bed with me to calm down. It's not like they could have a conversation with me regarding their needs.

PinkFridge

Mon, Dec 21 2009, 12:29 pm

manhattanmom wrote:

You can move your baby out of your room at any age--whenever you're comfortable.
My first was in his own room at 2 weeks.
My second moved into his brother's room from my room at 3 months.

With that avatar I was expecting to read
You can move your baby out for your room
At any age, or when he goes zoom
My first was in his own at 2 weeks
the next when he learned to play hide and go seek

My kids stayed in till well after their first birthday, largely due to space constraints.

Isramom8

Mon, Dec 21 2009, 12:47 pm

Our 3 year old is still in our/his room, in a transition bed. Our 7 year old sleeps on the carpet with us sometimes. I mean, he sleeps on the carpet - we don't.

I have found that our 4 year olds go through a long phase of wanting to sleep in the parents' room, and we let them.

Two babies we moved out as early as 5 weeks, because of space constraints, or because of my once needing to feel that at least one room was adults-only. In both cases the baby's room was very close to ours, and there were also older siblings in it.

AFAIK, intimacy is allowed if a child in the room who can already talk is asleep. If the child is too young to talk, s/he does not have to be asleep. You have to know your child. There have been cases of the child having been awake and aware, although the parents thought s/he was asleep.

Mommeeeeeeee!

Mon, Dec 21 2009, 1:03 pm

I like having my little ones in the room with me. keeps me calmer at night knowing I can check up on them all the time, especially if they're sick. anything that saves me trips out of bed into another room in the middle of the night is a good thing IMO, so I definitely, absolutely, would never move a baby out of my room until I know for sure that he consistently sleeps all night, every night, and won't need me to get out of bed before I'm ready (unless in exceptional, once-in-a-while circumstances such as illness). but even once they are sleeping well, I like keeping them in my room as long as I can, which would be as long as they are still small enough physically that they don't require a larger bed than the portable crib that fits in my room - once they grow out of that, they've got no choice but to go. one child had to move to her own room at almost 2 (22 months) because dh's work schedule changed and his getting ready disturbed her every morning when she wasn't supposed to wake up yet. my current baby is not at the stage where I would move him out yet, but in any case he'll have to keep sleeping with us until we find a new place to live where we'll actually have a space to move him to.

EvenI

Mon, Dec 21 2009, 1:44 pm

I kept my baby in my room for 15 months, and was surprised to find that when I did move him out, he slept through the night immediately, whereas he previously woke up in the night to nurse, I don't remember how many times per night.

gold21

Mon, Dec 21 2009, 7:25 pm

HY, I didnt say an older baby or toddler shouldnt come into your bed at some point in the night if he needs the comfort. I see no issue with that. but why start off the night in your room if not necessary? I think around 9 months is a good age to have your baby start the night off in a bed (with rails), or crib of his own. ha if you knew how nights run in my house you would freak. I really dont want my kids sleeping in my room, I like to know that we have a space of our own, so when I go into their room in middle of the night I fall asleep next to one of them! obviously I go to sleep next to my husband, but in middle of the night when the kids get up, I go to them and end up falling asleep there. so hey dont take my advice as it is kinda wacky.

gryp

Mon, Dec 21 2009, 7:33 pm

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

For me, a "ready" baby means I'm not going to be worried about him and constantly checking on him throughout the night.

amother

Mon, Dec 21 2009, 7:38 pm

amother wrote:

I have my kids in my room for as long as they want. I have a big kingsize bed. When they want they can go to their own beds, if not they can seep with me. I hve a much better nights sleep this way because I dont need to get out of bed to go to them when theyre cryng. (For those who wonder my husband sleeps in a diffefrent room and I sleep with him there for part of the night wehn I want to, if you know what I mean.)

ur dh sleeps in another room? shock

dh and I also sleep in separate rooms. He cannot handle wking up at night so I sleep with the baby in the living room (which s closer to older dd's room in case she wakes up at night) while dh sleeps in the bedroom with the door closed and sometimes earplugs.
It just kind happened after the baby was born and we got used to it.

amother

Mon, Dec 21 2009, 7:40 pm

Half the time, between the kids waking and the nursing baby we end up in separate rooms. But that's life B"H, and no one minds too much although of course we'd prefer that everyone sleep nicely through the night.

solo

Mon, Dec 21 2009, 8:13 pm

isnt there a halachik age at which u can no longer do it with a sleeping child in the room?
I seem to remember that age being 1 yrs old.
I cant speak from xperience but I think anytime past that age would make me uncomfortable.
also ive been told that the earlier u switch them out the easier time ull have with them adjusting to being without u. I think as soon as they begin to sleep for long stretches sounds bout right to me.

gold21

Mon, Dec 21 2009, 8:19 pm

yeah thats another thing. intimacy with a baby in the room gets weird at some point. anyhow, its good for a baby to have a bed of his own. let them start the night in their own space, and if they wake up at 2 am, take it from there. I really think a mother should have her own bed for some part of the night at some point.

Tehilla

Mon, Dec 21 2009, 8:21 pm

gold21 wrote:

I really think a mother should have her own bed for some part of the night at some point.

although I enjoy co-sleeping for portions of the night, yes there is a limit for me. at some point I need to be able to roll over without waking the baby! this usually happens when they get older and are ready to be in their own space anyway.

amother

Mon, Dec 21 2009, 11:11 pm

I'm anon bcz frankly I'm embarrassed. Everyone I know gives me a tough time. I had one kid sleep with me till 23 months, and another who still sleeps with me at 28 months. Frankly I get sleep. My dc who sleeps with me now isn't ready. I am but dc can't stay put and really needs me. I guess some kids are like that. DC need constant cuddling and physical presence. So until I get "the signal" dc is here in my bed.

I have a queen (I sleep in the room with dh don't you all worry) I have another child who also from time to time will come in near the daylight hrs.

Doesn't bother me though I am embarrassed. I get lectures all the time about how "bad" I am. I'm really relived to see there are others who also have had their kids in the bed with them till this age. I was sure I was the only one! Very Happy

Inspired

Tue, Dec 22 2009, 5:58 am

solo wrote:

isnt there a halachik age at which u can no longer do it with a sleeping child in the room?
.

no, there is not. even an awake child is allowed until they are verbal or can describe what they saw.

Noone is forcing you, or even suggest that you keep babies in your room. But the halacha is that relations is allowed in the same room as a sleeping child of any age. If one prefers they can put up a curtain mechitza and some hold that should be done. But there is no limit in halacha.

amother - you are definitely not alone. I love sleeping with babies.