Making Pesach for the first time

amother

Sat, Jan 02 2010, 7:18 pm

I was wondering out there after how many years after you were married did you make Pesach on your own? I am bringing up this topic because my husband was approached three times this week by parents of married children or married kids themselves if they can have our guestroom for Pesach since there is no more room in the parents house (ex. more kids got married, small home etc) and it seems like the kids themselves don't want to make Pesach. I myself don't know exactly what we are doing for Pesach and here we have our neighbors trying to book our guest room for eight days.

NotInNJMommy

Sat, Jan 02 2010, 7:45 pm

We always have made Pesach. We have no family/friends to go to.

That aside: If you don't have room for someone, or don't know yet, then just say it. You are not responsible for someone else's Pesach. For your own sanity, you might want to figure out what it is you are going to do yourselves so that you can start planning/doing it.

dee's mommy

Sat, Jan 02 2010, 7:52 pm

The truth is, I was making Pesach for two years before I got married. (I had my own house before.) I made my first sedar the second year I was married. Checking the romaine lettuce in preparation made me want to call all the families who had me for sedarim the years before and say "thank you." Thumbs Up

I am a Baalas Teshuva, so going home for Pesach is not an option. I always try to have my family come to me instead, if not for sedarim, than for the other days.

Tova

Sat, Jan 02 2010, 7:55 pm

We made our own sedarim last year for the first time (married 7 years) and I enjoyed it so much there is not even a question in my mind that we will be home this year.

nicole81

Sat, Jan 02 2010, 7:57 pm

we also made pesach from year one.

actually we've hosted all the parents but never the other way around.

Raisin

Sat, Jan 02 2010, 7:59 pm

from year 3. Probably more but dh's job requires us to be home for all yomim tovim. Actually 1 or 2 years we did go to family for the last days.

I think it is totally understandable why people like going to parents for yom tov, obviously once you have lots of kids it may not be so practical. my sister used to go home every pesach till her family got too large (6-7 kids or so) usually parents enjoy having their kids home and kids enjoy not having to cook.

Now my parents often go to different children for pesach, since most of us can't go home for pesach.

amother

Sat, Jan 02 2010, 8:06 pm

OP here. As of now it looks like we are staying home. Its a bit early for us to decide if we are having our own guests or not. We did not give any of our neighbors confirmation.
I just find its strange to ask people in December what there Pesach plans will be and that you should know how many extra rooms you are going to have. I think these kids should start making Pesach on there own if there is no room for them by their parents. They should just grow up!

Mama Bear

Sat, Jan 02 2010, 8:09 pm

By "making pesach" do you mean cleaning the house for pesach? eating home on chol hamoed? eating home all seudos except the sedarim? eating the sedarim home? there are so many levels.

Breakfast we ate home on chol hamoed from year one (though I know so many ppl who dont kasher for years). Suppers we began eating home once we had a baby (which was 10 yrs after the chasanah). seudos I began a year after that, and sedarim we havent done yet but dh is strongly begging me to start. we'll see...

amother

Sat, Jan 02 2010, 8:13 pm

Mama Bear - I am talking about sleeping and eating home all the meals. None of these three neighbors kids live in walking distance. Don't worry by the time Pesach comes we are going to propably have at least another five neighbors ask for our guest room.
All these couples already have at least one child.

honeybunches

Sat, Jan 02 2010, 9:43 pm

we "made" pesach from the first pesach we were married about 3 months at that time. the last 2 years we have eaten meals at home and this past year we even had a lot of company. it's a lot of work and kind of pricey but I always feel so proud of myself that I can do it! good luck! and let us know if you need any advice

amother

Sat, Jan 02 2010, 9:54 pm

OP here - I've been making Pesach for years. But we did go to a hotel a few times over the years. I was just wondering why these young couples can't make Pesach if there is no room for them at their parents home? I don't understand how them feel comftorable going to a strangers home for a week with their kids to sleep.

chocolate moose

Sat, Jan 02 2010, 9:58 pm

I have also always made Pesach, but if I had a guest room, most probably I would stuff it full of chometz things !!!

Mama Bear

Sun, Jan 03 2010, 12:46 am

OP it's a HUGE undertaking to eat home all the meals. It's very much for a young couple, with 1 or 2 kids, to invest in all the appliances and cookware and get recipes and cook so much food from scratch. I wouldnt have done it had I had a baby right away - by the time I had a baby we were married for 9 yrs, so a year later I started. I dont think, howeve,r that YOURE supposed to be hosting someone else's couples in your home!!!

shalhevet

Sun, Jan 03 2010, 2:52 am

Mama Bear wrote:

It's for a mitzva, and we are promised we will get back the money we spend for the sake of YT. Unlike, for example, going away in the summer.

Why is it harder for a young couple? Quite the opposite - it's less work when the family is smaller and you learn 'on the job' by the time your family is bigger. Even if things aren't 100% right, no one will starve.

And I have also made all of Pesach, including the seder, from shana rishona.

Marion

Sun, Jan 03 2010, 3:30 am

I made seder (I guess that means making Pesach) for the first time as a single, 7 years ago (1st Pesach in Israel).

I "make Pesach" every year, even if we go to my IL's for seder. I made seder married for the first time last year...

octopus

Sun, Jan 03 2010, 12:54 pm

I made my first pesach 2 1/2 years after we were married.And I had just had my second child. hmmm...maybe it was 3 years after we were married. whatever. In any case, I decided that it was really hard to go away with little kids, sleep schedules are completely thrown off and I would have none of that. I have my in law family come to me. problem solved.

Mirabelle

Sun, Jan 03 2010, 1:08 pm

I made Pesach the second Pesach that we were married and from then on. AND, the first year that I made Pesach I had sleepover guests as well as many guests for each seder.

Yes its hard, but you take a deep breath, make a lot of lists, and get it done!

It's pretty much a given now that my parents and brother's family come to us now for logistical reasons, part of which include not enough room at my parents house.

I also agree with those who said that it can be easier when you are younger and don't have as many kids. In fact having done from early on in my marriage makes it much less scary as I know exactly what to do.

That being said, I would still love to get a year off and go to a hotel one of these days! Very Happy

amother

Sun, Jan 03 2010, 2:04 pm

I made pesach when I was married 2.5 years so I could have a homebirth (2.5 weeks overdue). I had a backup plan of either my mother or my mil though.