help me with my newborn

pinktichel

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 4:40 am

Ds is nearly 5 weeks old, bh. Since birth, he has been sleeping horribly (or should I say, not sleeping?) During the time we were in the hospital he barely slept because they don't bother suctioning baby's in this country and he was choking all the time...

Now, 5 weeks later, he still doesn't sleep. Dh ends up holding him most of the night and that's a terrible habit I don't want Ds to get used to.
Last night for example, I fed him on one side, bathed him, swaddled him, and gave him a full feeding (he ate on side A again and then side B). I burped him, rocked him and he was fast asleep. I put him in the crib and 10 minutes later, as I was drifting off, he started crying.
He didn't end up going to sleep until nearly 3 am and between 3 am and 8 am, I nursed him 2x!!

I can't function like this anymore.
What am I doing wrong?
How can I get a newborn to sleep?

drumjj

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 4:46 am

I had this with sara was just awful till she was 3 months and started tummy sleeping. was a total wreck. when the weather improves ill come over and look after kids so u can sleep

e1234

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 4:54 am

I had this with a number of my kids.
I don't have any majic solution for you - what ended up working for me was keeping the baby in my bed and nursing him almost all night - but I'm not sure it's the right way to go.

pinktichel

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 5:36 am

Thanks Drum, but bh my Dh is home most of time so I do get to rest a bit during the day.
e1234, that's just what I don't want to be doing! LOL

I don't recall my other kids being like this. We followed a bedtime routine from when they were first home, and they settled beautifully. Of course there were exceptions, but we've never had it like this.

drumjj

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 5:49 am

I found the third one absolute torture I couldnt cope with it at all. I think ur also so busy with the other kids and life things take longer to settle. I dont have any suggestions nothing worked for us but time.

BeershevaBubby

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 6:23 am

There's a difference between 'nursing all night' and co-sleeping. Maybe you should try co-sleeping.

Or put a shirt you've worn in his crib so he smells you.

the world's best mom

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 7:29 am

Some children have a need to be held more. I have a couple of kids like this. My high needs babies sleep in my bed with me. When they are old enough for a toddler bed, I move them there. For some reason, dd was okay on her toddler bed, though she still comes into my bed in middle of the night.

It's not always easy, but I've learned to sleep quite well with the kids in my bed. I don't even feel when dd comes in.

Many people have higher hopes for themselves. They are determined to keep their bed for themselves. But blessed with a high needs baby, they often find that the only way to get any sleep is to give up these dreams and welcome in the baby. And the cuddling time is YUM when you come to accept the fact that it has to happen.

Zus

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 7:34 am

At this stage, just do whatever works best! Sleep of mommy and baby (and of daddy too) is most important. Even if that means doing something you didn't really want to do.
From my experience, babies change their sleep pattern so often in the first few months of life, that 'habits' don't hold usually.

From my experience, I've always had to sleep with my babies the first few weeks, but that was never longer than for a month or 2.

bubby

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 7:58 am

I already suggested you put him on his stomach. you said he liked that position. Until a few years ago, stomach sleeping was the way to go. Now, it's the opposite. I put all my kids on their stomachs & they slept like a dream, my first child started sleeping through at 3 1/2 weeks!

Talk to the health visitor, go to the clinic, but you need to do something fast or you'll have a serious problem with the baby & you'll develop breast infections & other ailments (anemia, heavy bleeding etc) from stress.

DO NOT TELL ME THEY AREN'T CAUSED FROM LACK OF SLEEP & TOO MUCH AGGRAVATION! Listen to Bubby!

shopaholic

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 2:27 pm

Don't co-sleep!! Your mother never did & she had 6 kids!! You WILL get thru it, just as I did with #4. Noone is as bad as she was Smile

Other than that, I have no advice. - sorry!

pinktichel

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 2:35 pm

Zus wrote:

Don't co-sleep????
If it works, it works! Sleep for all is most important now.
Do read up on clear instructions for safety.

But it doesn't work for us.
He wants to be held the whole time he's sleeping! Dh held him for 3 hrs the other night. That's the only way he (Ds) slept. It's ridiculous and unsafe. AFAIK, co sleeping is does not include keeping a child in your arms all night so he/she can sleep but parent does not. Sad

Zus

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 2:46 pm

pinktichel wrote:

Zus wrote:

Don't co-sleep????
If it works, it works! Sleep for all is most important now.
Do read up on clear instructions for safety.

DD had to sleep on top of me for the first few weeks.

sys

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 3:30 pm

I had a similar problem where my baby would wake up every time we put her down. until my sister saved me by double swaddling her. that way she felt more secure and cozy. I also propped her on her side against a rolled up recieving blanket. she slept = I slept