How to answer a question

amother

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 10:10 am

Bli Ayin Ra we have been blessed with more than a handful of children. I popped them out every 18 months for a good few years. Its been about 5 years since I had a baby, and technically I guess I could still have more. How do you handle people asking you when you are going to have another one? It truly is none of their business and a total chutzpah. I am the kind of person to be rude first, and then feel the need to apologize later, when really, the question itself was rude.

How would you answer / How have you answered??

(oh and I am so not the type of person to say "when Hashem decides")

HindaRochel

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 10:22 am

Just curious as to why you aren't the type of person to say "When Hashem decides..." because I think that is the best answer. Other than that, or being rude, I must admit I'm sort of at a loss for words.

imasinger

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 10:52 am

You could try looking very hurt and say, "That's personal information."

Or you could have some fun. [n.b. for those who are worried about rudeness on the site, I'M NOT SERIOUS. Just trying to lighten the mood a bit.]

- "Would you ask your rebbitzin that question?"

- "Oh, I'm so glad you asked! I just love to tell everyone about my reproductive plans!"

- "Oh, I don't know. When are you going to take your foot out of your mouth?"

Ruchel

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 1:14 pm

-I'm flattered you ask, do you think I'm Hashem/a nevia?
-I wish I knew!
-ask Hashem and tell me if he answers!

or simply, all in Hashem's hand.

Plonis

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 2:13 pm

"I was thinking that tomorrow at 2:30 was a good time. What do you think?"

"Oh, I ordered one a few weeks ago, but I think it must have been lost in transit."

"Why, do I look pregnant?"

"When fits your schedule best?"

chocolate moose

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 2:41 pm

amother wrote:

Would you consider treatment? You could say that.

Merrymom

Mon, Mar 22 2010, 11:40 pm

Politicians are taught a sneaky way out of answering questions they'd rather not answer. Pay attention to a political interview and you'll see this again and again. So their response would go something like this:

"The question isn't when I plan on having another one but rather...." You fill in the blank as in "rather, how do I manage to have the ones I have already" or "rather, why do people find my fertility so interesting?" and so forth, just use your imagination to twist the question back to this person.

Mini Cookie

Mon, Mar 22 2010, 11:58 pm

People say & ask stupid things all the time. It doesnt end in their interest of your family spacing/ infertility. I'm sure those experiencing hardships in other areas of their lives including financial strife, unemployment, raising a challenging kid, struggling with your weight, getting over a loss...can help you compile a book of the dumbest comments they received....that's the way of the world. Some do it out of being nosey & curious others cuz they feel so "close" to you & yet others cuz they dont know how to show that they care. You can either walk around setting everyone straight with witty or rude answers or just condition yourself to let it slide over your head. I'm sure we can all recall sometime that we said some uneccessary comment & want to be forgiven for it...

neverbored

Tue, Mar 23 2010, 12:31 am

Answer:

Why, do I look THAT desperate?

When are YOU having another one?

What's wrong with having only 4, 5, 6, whatever?

Why, is there a race going on?

I'm cherishing the time I have now!

Gee, I didn't think of THAT yet!

Wow! I didn't even realize that I am due for another one!

I'll call shipping right away! We'll see when the next shipping date is!

mummiedearest

Wed, Mar 24 2010, 8:26 pm

two answers immediately come to mind:

"no comment"
and
"never, thank you."

both are short and to the point.

chaylizi

Wed, Mar 24 2010, 10:33 pm

Plonis wrote:

I love these.

anonymom

Wed, Mar 24 2010, 10:36 pm

My answer is "You never know." It puts them in their place and shuts them up without being rude yourself. Plus you did not give any info, or embarass yourself.

Bliss

Thu, Mar 25 2010, 12:31 am

I've learned something great from a woman I met in one of those 'kimpeturin heims' (and you should all know what that is by now). When somebody asked her something she didn't want to answer she gave them some kind of face with a half smile, her eyes big open and her arms in a way like I don't know, and NO answer what so ever. Needless to say, this is what I do when I'm faced with a question I don't want to answer. I think it's great and not rude.