is it a zchus to have a boy????

Rodent

Sun, Sep 18 2011, 4:02 pm

thatgirl wrote:

rodent what bracha is that?? never heard of it..

I'll find it later for you, in a rush now. Just letting you know I've seen your post.

honeygold

Sun, Sep 18 2011, 4:50 pm

As others have said its a zchus to have a healthy baby. As far as the first 40 days after conception goes I heard that you can ask for a specific gender that you prefer. I never heard that you should specifically ask for a boy. I asked for a girl and I got one, that was my preference. This time around I didn't ask for a specific gender whatever it is I'll be happy so long as its healthy, that's the main thing

Mommy3.5

Sun, Sep 18 2011, 5:09 pm

The mekor for gender requests is Leah, and FTR, she requested a girl. In our shurl at RH?YK, all the men pledge Ben (52), I guess that is because Bat (402) is too expensive!

invisiblecircus

Sun, Sep 18 2011, 6:52 pm

I know a lady who had 5 boys. She was delighted with them of course but when she got pregnant again, made no secret of the fact she wanted a girl. All her family and friends still gave her brachot to have a boy and she did have another boy.

Personally I find it strange to give a bracha for anything other than a healthy baby be it boy or girl but I found it specially strange to give a bracha for one sex when the woman has specifically stated her desire for the other! It's kind of like if a single girl wanted to meet someone tall dark and handsome and someone said "Bezrat Hashem you should meet someone short, blonde and ugly!"

Ruchel

Sun, Sep 18 2011, 9:05 pm

I heard you can daven for a gender until you give birth. I wonder if it is still the case today with ultrasounds, or if that would be asking for an open miracle!

When I was expecting DD a friend (girl!) told me she would daven so I have a boy. I told her then don't daven (not that I prefered a girl, I prefered no gender discrimination! It was my first so I didn't need any gender for peru urevu).

DrMom

Sun, Sep 18 2011, 10:33 pm

cm wrote:

I find there is preference for boy babies everywhere! My Reform neighbor had three girls and then a boy - a large family by their community standards. At the bris all I heard was "Finally, a boy!" "You can stop having all those children now - you finally got your boy!" "At last, a boy!" I know they were at least in part joking about the large family size, but I have never heard anyone say "At last! A girl!" It reminded me of the final chapter of "All of a Kind Family," when (IIRC) Papa weeps with joy because he finally has a boy.

There is an opinion that one fulfills the mitzvah of Pru U'rvu whe one has at least one child of each sx, so to me it makes sense to daven for the sx you don't already have. Many families (non-Ortho, non-Jewiosh for that matter) would liek some of each. I don't think that's odd at all.

Ruchel

Sun, Sep 18 2011, 10:36 pm

Polls have been made. In some countries most people would rather a girl, if they had to only have a child.

Many women in many places prefer girls, "a girl stays with you" type.

Here having one of each is called "the king's choice" (no idea why).

lech lecha08

Mon, Sep 19 2011, 12:35 pm

Someone recently told me that a girl is for olam hazeh and a boy is for olam habah. This woman had something like 6 boys before she had a girl. she said by the last few boys, she cried when the midwife told her it was a boy at delivery.

MaBelleVie

Mon, Sep 19 2011, 12:37 pm

In some cultures, it is traditional to give a bracha for a "ben zachar." I always assumed it was because boys have more mitzvos, especially talmud Torah.

Mommy3.5

Mon, Sep 19 2011, 1:13 pm

cm wrote:

Actually, I got "finally a girl!" quite a bit after my daughter was born. Anytime someone has the opposite gender after a bunch of the other they get that. A few of my friends had a similar experience.

rosemo

Mon, Sep 19 2011, 2:34 pm

invisiblecircus wrote:

lol

rosemo

Mon, Sep 19 2011, 2:38 pm

hi,
from someone who is waiting for a child (like me) ill take what I can get.
but if u have a few of one gender, wanting the other gender is so normal.
besides, the mitzva for a man is to have one of each. so if your "missing" one, I would say, its an obligation to pray for a specific gender.

Ruchel

Tue, Sep 20 2011, 1:50 am

What I hear often: "a ben zachar!" for those without a son, and "now the girl!" for those without a daughter LOL

Thatgirl, I am French Very Happy

ewa-jo

Tue, Sep 20 2011, 2:00 am

For us, it was. DH has several sisters with kids, but (at the time) neither of his brothers were married. So our son was the first one to carry on the family name. One of his brothers has married since then... and has a daughter... so our boys still have the honor.

The mohel that came by the next day after our first son's bris gave us a bracha that he should see us again the next year. So, the next year, a different mohel came to check our second son after his bris... no bracha this time. Then we had a girl.

Ruchel

Tue, Sep 20 2011, 3:13 am

I googled around about the "king's choice".
Apparently it dates back from the 17th century. It would come from the fact that the king's heir is his first son, OR his first child. So if he has a son first, it has to be him. But if he has daughter and then son, he can choose. IMO it must date back to older times as in these times already there was a law that the heir has to be male... so maybe from Middle Ages?

Liba

Tue, Sep 20 2011, 3:39 am

I was happy to have a girl first, second and third, but by the fourth I was really davening for a boy. My father had been nifter for 15 years by the time my son was born, with no male decedents to be named for him. As much as I love girls I really wanted to name for my father.