Is a hard seperation inevitable for some kids or...?

Rochelro

Sun, Apr 18 2010, 11:09 am

Does it mean they are not ready to go to playgroup.?
I am thinking of sending my 2 year old to playgroup next year. He is bored at home and I think he would enjoy it. The thing is he's VERY attached to me. I never left him up with a baby sitter since he was born. So I am quite sure that when I bring him to playgroup and leave, he will cry and it will take him a while to get adjusted. I know its normal and most kids have some sort of seperation anxiety. My question is- Do you think there are some kids that no matter what age you send them to school they will have a hard time or do you think that if I wait another year, he will have an easier time adjusting?
I would love to hear what you guys think.

chaylizi

Sun, Apr 18 2010, 11:19 am

I have 2 kids who begged to go to school. They couldn't wait for social stimulation. I also have one that will not stay with babysitters (even when his older sisters are present). I'm thinking I'm going to have to let him stay home another year though. He won't be 2 until the end of October and I think he will be totally traumatized if I send him out.

Simple1

Sun, Apr 18 2010, 7:32 pm

Once you decide you are ready to send him, I think you'll have to be patient and persistent the first few days. Also it helps if the teachers are confident and patient during the adjustment period. Usually they might fuss at the time that you leave him but then be happy soon after you leave.

Not sure about that age, but I started working part time this year and had a hard time getting my very attached 1 year old to adjust at a babysitter. I switched her to another babysitter who expressed confidence that my daughter would adjust - and after a bit of crying she did adjust and is happy!

My 3 yo is not so attached and coudn't wait to go to school, but got a bit nervous when it came down to it. But after a few weeks she got very comfortable. Good luck!

BinahYeteirah

Sun, Apr 18 2010, 7:56 pm

No, I don't think a hard separation is inevitable for most kids. If you were willing and able to wait long enough, almost all kids will eventually be able to separate without tears and drama. For some kids, this might not happen until age 5 or 6; most people are not willing or able to wait that long.

shopaholic

Thu, Jun 24 2010, 12:27 pm

My oldest went to a babysitter from 3 months old & he is naturally a very outgoing kid so he never gave me separation issues.

My next one went to a babysitter from 6-12 weeks of age. Then I had her home until I sent her to playgroup at 18m. She cried for a few minutes every day but they managed to distract her & she was fine.

My son was home with me until he was 18m & I had to work so I sent him to playgroup. I never had a problem with him at all.

Now, child #4...she has been with me since birth. I have taken her to work (when I worked outside the house), had her home with me & had her in the playgroup I ran. She has always been a clingy baby & toddler & she has been impossible in my playgroup (bothering the kids etc) so yesterday I sent her to the playgroup that my last one went to. She cried a bit when she realized I left. Today they called me after 1.5 hrs to tell me she's been crying unless someone holds her. I said I'd pick her up earlier & as I was leaving the house they called to say she calmed down cuz they started davening - B"H!

She has only been away from me when I've left her with my mother or DH. I guess she's just one of those kids who, like the OP says, " no matter what age you send them to school they will have a hard time"

BinahYeteirah

Thu, Jun 24 2010, 2:19 pm

But how old is she? I assume she must be fairly young if she is still of the age to go to playgroup. If she were older, it *might* be easier for her, so I don't think you can say it would be difficult for her at any age. Of course, she might not be ready to separate easily until school age or later, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it wouldn't happen eventually if it were possible.