Thank-you notes | Imamother

Motek

Sun, Feb 06 2005, 2:52 pm

I attended a bar mitzva four weeks ago and just got the thank-you card. I was impressed by the speed, though not at all surprised because it's typical of the mother of the bar mitzva boy.

then again, the card was pre-printed and the boy didn't have to write a word!

what do you think of pre-printed thank-you notes?

how soon after a gift is given (wedding, bar mitzva, baby, other) do you think the cards should be mailed out?

my answers to those questions?

I think a personal note beats a pre-printed card by a lot, but better a pre-printed card than no card!

and I think the thank-you notes should be mailed out immediately or as soon as possible

sarahd

Sun, Feb 06 2005, 3:10 pm

You can ask Miss Manners too!

My opinion: If the giver took the trouble to pick out a gift or write a personal check to you, you should take the time to write a card. I can't stand receiving pre-printed cards - I feel like I'm getting a receipt for my gift.

Of course cards should be sent out immediately. However, if you're going to write personal cards, it takes somewhat longer. For example, I had to send out nearly 200 thank you cards after my wedding, and I wrote a personal message in each one. It took me forever - at least three months or more. I'm embarrassed to say that I still owe 15-20 thank yous for baby gifts, and the baby is 7 months old now.

Which brings me to my own question: Do you think there's a point after which it's too late to send out cards? If so, when is that?

gryp

Sun, Feb 06 2005, 3:12 pm

Quote:

I'm embarrassed to say that I still owe about 15 thank yous for baby gifts, and the baby is 7 months old now.

if only I was as fast as you... Smile

im awful at it. but I always write personal ones, never preprinted ones.

Tefila

Sun, Feb 06 2005, 4:06 pm

Ok this is what we do and still trying to get better I make on computer Thank-You postcards personalize it with bar mitzvah boys pic in color. Then on the other side he has 3 lines that he has to do himself.
It takes us about 3 months to get it done and sent off.

But I think better personalized then preprinted.

This is what we did For baby gifts for the twins we made color postcards one side with their pic and on the other side I wrote 3 lines worth and then ze hu we sent it off.
Took 5 mnths though

but with twins I think people understood, and they were only to happy to recieve a pic of them!

Sarahd better late then never. After a yr one could feel embarrassed since babys take up our time b"h, so no it's not too late!!!

zuncompany

Sun, Feb 06 2005, 5:15 pm

This is what I learned when getting married about ettique...

after a wedding you have 1 year (yes, a full year). I must admit it took me almost that long. I got preg. my first month of marriage B"H and was really sick the first couple months. I finished most of them while on bedrest the last trimester. I gave my husband a list of 15 (his mother, grandmother, brothers, etc...) . I don't know if he finished honestly.

For the kid's births I was great with Zu. Finished most by 6 weeks. With Tev its a heck of a lot harder- but I made a point of calling people and saing thank you or sending emails. I can do that while nursing. I have been told ettique wise you have 3 months. A friend had a great idea- if its really are late- get pics copied of the kid with the toy or outfit. get a note thats pre-printed thank you and take paint, put the kid's hand in it and stamp in the card. Add in the pic. People will forgive!

gifts given and opened in front of the person- I think a personal thank you right there is enough.

What I am working on now is sending my family a dvd I put together of the kids with thank you for all the wonderful gifts on the cover.

sara

Yael

Sun, Feb 06 2005, 10:10 pm

after my wedding I only sent personal notes but b/c it took so long I never ended up finishing them, which I still feel bad about. so after levi was born I decided that better to have printed cards than nothing, so I got pretty paper and typed on the comp. a note to each person. I used pretty much the same text for everyone but changed the name so it looked like I typed it just for them, then printed them all out and mailed them. some I actually just found while cleaning recently that I never mailed b/c I didnt have an address, I dont even know who these people were. friends of my inlaws I think. so I dont really feel embarrased b/c I wouldnt even recognize them if I saw them. but it still isnt right I know I know, they got us a gift and all. whatever its too late now.
so after levi I think it was about 5 months. by dovi I think I got just one gift from a non family member. so I just thanked in person and that was it. phew what a relief!!!
I was happy not to get gifts by dovi b/c I had all the clothing I could need b/c they were both boys and born in the same season and the exact same size, so I really didnt need any more clothing. and this way I didnt have to worry about thank you cards.

Pearl

Mon, Feb 07 2005, 7:25 am

I prefer personal thank you notes, even when it takes (a lot of) time to arrive. Israeli's are not very good at that....and I think it's not very nice. In Israel people tend to give money at weddings or bris, sometimes substantial amounts, and I think it's rude not to thank somebody in person, no matter the amount!
I sent personal thank you notes after all the simches we had. I keep them simple, in order not to make it too expensive, but I write them myself. After our last simche (a bris, almost a year ago) I bought blank postcards (so stamp is already on them) and let my 2 daughters draw pictures on them, and then I would write the personal thank you note. People liked them a lot.
Better late than never, sarahd!!! I am sure it will be highly appreciated, no matter how long passed since actual receiving the present.

proudmom

Mon, Feb 07 2005, 11:04 am

I dont really expect to get a thank you card in the mail. My aunt is really on top of that. everytime she sent me a present for the my kids she waits for the thank you cards. If I dont send her one she wont send anymore presents.

1stimer

Mon, Feb 07 2005, 12:02 pm

What about people that give presents really late? Like after you have already sent out thank you cards.

btw I mailmerged my thank-you cards. So e/1 got a personalised computerised thank you note (for engagement I even specified the gift that the person gave but wouldn't recommend this unless ur very organised...) embarrassed

1stimer

Mon, Feb 07 2005, 12:10 pm

even if the gift is given after 6 mths, a year? personally I just never got around to giving a thank you then...

a couple were given a wedding present 5 yrs after their marriage with a note 'just wanted to make sure the marriage would last'. 5 yrs later they sent a ty note 'just wanted to make sure the ice-cream machine would last'

sarahd

Mon, Feb 07 2005, 2:26 pm

That is really funny! How do people come up with such responses?

Can you beat this on the subject of late presents: My sister got a wedding gift 15 years after her wedding! Actually, my Israeli cousin had given my aunt some money to buy her a gift around the time of the wedding and my aunt forgot about it and remembered 15 years later. My sister promptly wrote a thank you card: "Thank you for the kind wedding gift. Believe me, it comes more in handy now than 15 years ago!"

micki

Mon, Feb 07 2005, 5:20 pm

it took us 3 months to get the wedding ones done, and I still have very organized remnants of baby birth ones. for the upsheriin because I have a bad trait of never getting around to the cards, I set up a thank you card on the comp. ahaead of time. I left a space to put a pic of the newly shorn boy and left it blank. then I wrote them all in. hubby did the adresses and kids did licking and stamping.
but I still have a few that were given months later that I never got around to do... maybe one day Rolling Eyes

what about parents- do yo send them and your siblings thank you cards?

Didi

Mon, Feb 07 2005, 6:40 pm

My wedding thank you's were out the month I got married yes each one was personalized. And the Baby thank you's went out the day I received each gift, except for the bris presents those went out that week, that way I would not forget to do it and I knew it got done.

After my Wedding thankyou's went out I got a call from my Mother in law asking If I would be so kind to write my husbands bar mitzvah thank you's that he never did.

BlumaG

Mon, Feb 07 2005, 7:42 pm

I typed up individual postcards with a pic of my baby on the bottom. then I glued them onto index cards, it was cute and I sent to every person who sent us a gift. even to each of my siblings. she was 2ish months old when I started getting htem out, we moved when she was 5 wks so life was topsy turvy.
tihs itme I might use the same one but of course change hte pic n the arrangment...

Rochel Leah

Mon, Feb 07 2005, 10:24 pm

It took us forever to do the thank yous after the wedding, but atleast they were are all out before SZ was born ( whihc was 9 months after)..with baby gifts I personlilesd all of them but wrote them as if Sz was writting them : eg..dear, my mommy, tatty and I thank you...I love wearing/playing/ or cant wait to play/use/wear etc..love me. they were all out when SZ was 2 months old

but I had the time becuase my husband worked in an overnight camp and I was there all the time with no laundry, cooking or cleaning to do.

Chanie

Mon, Feb 14 2005, 11:28 am

when writing personal thank you notes, what do you write to someone who gave money... 'Thanks for the cash' doesn't quite sound right, if you get what I mean. (and I dont really know what I spent specific money on.) I'm currently writing the thank you notes for gifts I received for my sons birth - he is only 3 months old, so I'm not so late.