do you get kitchen help when you have guests

amother

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 4:34 pm

I'm talking about when you have people over for shabbos or yomtov meals. My mother always had a lady who helped in the kitchen, serving foods and cleaning afterwards. That way, the hostess doesn't have to be the waitress and can actively engage in conversation with the guests. And you don't have to stay up till past midnight doing dishes or putting away leftovers. I think it's a brilliant idea but don't know how to find a helper. Does anyone else get a kitchen help? I can't rely on DH as he's in charge of giving devar tora and zmiros and my children are too young to stay when the guests are here.

DefyGravity

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 4:38 pm

The only people I've ever know that have help in the kitchen during meals are the wealthier folk.

So, no, I've never had help in the kitchen and nobody in my circles does either. I make sure to have things well-prepared so that I can serve quickly and not miss much of the meal. Generally, people also offer to help serve, so sometimes I take them up on it.

Raisin

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 4:41 pm

no. how many guests are you talking about?

I have my cleaner come just before shabbos so everything is clean, and she might set the table or even make a salad if I ask her. And I serve family style so it doesn't take hours to serve.

plus my kitchen and dining room are in the same room, so whoever is serving doesn't feel left out of the conversation or meal. Usually guests offer to help.

yo'ma

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 5:10 pm

When I was growing up, we seldom had guests over, but everybody helped anyway, the girls, that is Wink

. B"h, there were enough girls to help. In my own home, like raisin said, the guests usually end up helping, but if I really want or need, I tell my children to help. Isn't that why we have them? To do our bidding!! LOL

chocolate moose

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 5:16 pm

amother wrote:

Well no, but when I had little kids and guests every shabbos, I used paper plates so you might count that. I also made simple food.

yo'ma

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 5:34 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

Well no, but when I had little kids and guests every shabbos, I used paper plates so you might count that. I also made simple food.

Yeah, me too, I also use disposable when I have guests. Besides that I don't have enough dishes for us and guests, I don't want to wash that many dishes and my sink is tiny.

c.c.cookie

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 5:35 pm

I'm my own helper. I have guests almost every Shabbos, and I just learned to chill. When I have guests it's a meal like any other. That way having guests over isn't stressful. I love it!

yummymummy

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 5:54 pm

I'm also curious as to how many guests you're talking about? For a regular shabbos or yom tov meal when we have at most two other families joining us I really don't think extra kitchen help would be necessary. I prepare all of my serving dishes ahead of time so I don't have to start rummaging around mid meal for a platter and I also like to get the food ready in advance (put the fish on the tray, arrange the cold cuts nicely, etc.) so that I have less to do during the meal. Often I have the opposite problem - I get the food out to the table so quicky that my husband says to slow down between courses so he can sing zemiros, say a dvar torah, etc.

I think I would spend more time supervising puting away the leftovers than if I did it myself and as for the dishes, why don't you use a dishwaher?

It sounds like a nice luxury if you're making a sheva brachos or hosting a larger gathering but for an ordinary shabbos it seems like more than you'd need.

amother

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 5:58 pm

OP here. No my parents are definitely not wealthy. I don't want to use disposals, they are for weekdays and not appropriate for shabbes. I'm an organized person and prepare things before hand like salad and the first course already on plates, but I do need help DURING the meal and afterwards. When you say the guests help, do you really mean they scrape and wash up the plates? And what does serving family style mean? Is it like buffet-style? We can easily have 10-12 guests including DH and me.

DefyGravity

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 6:08 pm

Family style means you don't serve each guest's plate individually with the food on it. You set the table with all the silverware and china and then place the food on the table and people pass it around.

Having guest help can mean help with serving, plating, scraping, etc. Depends on what you feel comfortable having people do.

I generally use disposable plate and silverware, I like having less mess to deal with.

Raisin

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 6:11 pm

I have at least 10 guests a week, very rarely less. family style - 2 or 3 platters each of chicken, kugel, rice, veggies etc. I only do 3 courses. So fish course is set out before meal starts, or if we do soup, I or dh serve it. (one reason why I don't like serving soup is that takes a lot of time to serve)

dessert is bought to the table and served there, or sometimes platters.

my guests don't wash up (usually, but it has happened), but they scrape and pile them up neatly.

I could do with help cleaning up afterwards, but I'm unlikely to find someone willing to come at 10.30 at night.

on yom tov when I have guests at each meal I might get my regular cleaner to come in the morning and clean up.

yummymummy

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 6:14 pm

I'm still not clear why you don't use a dishwasher.

Also, how long does it take to get the other courses ready during the meal? How much time do you need to scoop the chulent into a nice bowl, etc. I'm not trying to be snippy but I really don't see what takes so long.

Raisin

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 6:21 pm

yummymummy wrote:

from experience, when you have 10 or 12 people and serving 3 or 4 courses, the dishes will fill up way more then one dishwasher. But, it's not the end of the world if you have a few neat piles of dishes, ready to be washed after shabbos.

yummymummy

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 6:24 pm

yo'ma wrote:

yummymummy wrote:

I'm still not clear why you don't use a dishwasher.

Not everyone has a dishwasher, including me.

Is that because you lack the space? If you can't afford a dishwasher you can't afford kitchen help, no?

yummymummy

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 6:27 pm

Raisin wrote:

yummymummy wrote:

I don't disagree that you maight need to run the dishwasher twice, but why get a cleaning girl rather than just doing that?

yo'ma

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 6:38 pm

yummymummy wrote:

yo'ma wrote:

yummymummy wrote:

I'm still not clear why you don't use a dishwasher.

Not everyone has a dishwasher, including me.

Is that because you lack the space? If you can't afford a dishwasher you can't afford kitchen help, no?

I lack the space, but I don't mind washing the dishes. Well, used to. Now, I can hardly reach the sink and we got a new faucet that I hate and I do have cleaning help 4 times a week, so I've gotten very lazy.

yummymummy

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 6:46 pm

yo'ma wrote:

yummymummy wrote:

yo'ma wrote:

yummymummy wrote:

I'm still not clear why you don't use a dishwasher.

Not everyone has a dishwasher, including me.

Is that because you lack the space? If you can't afford a dishwasher you can't afford kitchen help, no?

OK, if OP also does not have a dishwasher I could see why she might want some help with the dishes.

amother

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 7:25 pm

I have a sister who hosts 40+ EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT!! She doesn't have a dishwasher or hired help. She may not use dishes, but trust me, the pots, pans, serving pieces, pitchers, etc add up to a few hrs of washing up on a friday night

And that's nothing compared to other people I know who serve over 100 ppl weekly (although I'm sure they have help)

Most friday nights my sister doesn't hit the sack before 1/2 am cuz she's washing up, cleaning up, folding tables and chairs, putting food away, etc

until she started having more than 16 guests, she used to wash up 16 chargers, lg plates, small plates, bowls, dessert plates, 32 knives, forks, spoons plus all the serving pieces. Oh, and crystal glasses too!!

and she did it on her own Smile

I think she's amazing. The most I ever cook for is about 20!

yummymummy

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 7:33 pm

amother wrote:

I think she's amazing. The most I ever cook for is about 20!

wow, for 40+ people I would think your sister deserves an assistant chef, not just a cleaning girl.

I'm just wondering, though, how does she seat 40+ people? (or over 100 people for your other friends) How large is her dining room?