Is sponsoring sheva brachos considered the wedding gift?

amother

Wed, Jul 14 2010, 11:21 am

I was wondering, if you are planning and paying for sheva brachos for a young couple, are you also supposed to give them a wedding gift? Or is the sheva brachos party considered the gift?

Cookies n Cream

Wed, Jul 14 2010, 11:24 am

I would say a SB is considered a gift.

goldapoe

Wed, Jul 14 2010, 11:25 am

I consider the Sheva Brachot the wedding gift. I do give one small thing as a "token". At the wedding, I do my best to get a picture of the Chatan/Kallah together. I then have a dozen wallet size pictures made for the guests (usually family) and a larger one for the couple. I buy a nice frame and wrap it in clear wrap with the picture in it. This goes over big and it also makes it pretty clear that this IS the gift!

amother

Wed, Jul 14 2010, 1:07 pm

Definately!!! a whole SB costs alot more than I would spend on a gift.

We were so appreciative of the pple that make us SB (niether of us had family to do it), that we invited them to our dinner (we had a big reception and very small dinner, basically only family and a few close friends), and also made each family a photo collage of pics of us and them at wedding and their SB.

I would hope that the young couple would realize what a gift you are giving them!!

DefyGravity

Wed, Jul 14 2010, 1:16 pm

Why not? Most of the time sheva brachos can cost more than what people would spend on a gift.

In my circles, it's understood that giving a sheva bracha is the wedding gift.

Zus

Wed, Jul 14 2010, 1:18 pm

I understand that making a SB usually costs more than a normal gift. Still, I would at least give another small token in addition. Like a keepsake.

bubby

Wed, Jul 14 2010, 1:21 pm

Some of the friends who very kindly made SB for my children gave gifts as well; others didn't. It costs a lot to make SB & I don't think it's necessary to buy a gift if you're spending hundreds of dollars on a lovely party. We usually gave a gift as well for the ones we have made, but that's because these are really close friends. It's up to you, but you definitely shouldn't feel you must give something. Believe me, the parents & couple are very grateful!

imaima

Wed, Jul 14 2010, 1:21 pm

here where I live, I think a couple has no idea what it means to host a sheva brochos.. But anyway, there are also people who go to the wedding dinner who don't even care to bring a present, regardless if the make a SB or not

chocolate moose

Wed, Jul 14 2010, 1:25 pm

Do the people who attend the SB who weren't invited to the wedding bring a gift ?

JollyMommy

Wed, Jul 14 2010, 11:19 pm

I've made sheva brachas 2x myself for close friends. I would never spend $500+ on a gift and that's what sheva brachas cost me, so no I did not give a gift as well!

Tablepoetry

Thu, Jul 15 2010, 1:21 am

Not in my circles in Israel. A wedding gift is always separate from anything that came before or after (shower/shabbat kalla/henna, whatever).
Usually a good friend or sibling hosts the sheva brachot (again, in my circles). It's an expense, but it's like a favor for someone near and dear.
I also have the feeling that the sheva brachot I've been to or have hosted are a lot more casual and less expensive than the ones in the states.

nachasmom

Thu, Jul 22 2010, 9:32 am

In my opinion, though its a lot of money, the sheva brochos is done for the parent's sakes, the young couple should still get their wedding gift. After all they're not involved in this part.

manhattanmom

Thu, Jul 22 2010, 9:36 am

I most definitely think so.

We had some people make us beautiful sheva brochos--with A LOT of hard work put into it. That was more than enough of a gift for us.

Re: it's for the parents?! No, it's not.--are you trying to say that paying for sheva brochos is the parents' responsibility? Because in the majority of the frum circles, the parents are the ones paying for the wedding too--so maybe the wedding gifts should also go to the parents....

Chayalle

Thu, Jul 22 2010, 11:07 am

Quote:

In my opinion, though its a lot of money, the sheva brochos is done for the parent's sakes, the young couple should still get their wedding gift. After all they're not involved in this part.

Huh? The Sheva Berachos is for the young couple, to celebrate all week long (and spare the young wife the dinner cooking during the first week of marriage). I definitely would consider it a gift.

Chayalle

Thu, Jul 22 2010, 11:08 am

[quote][Do the people who attend the SB who weren't invited to the wedding bring a gift ?
/quote]

Depends. My sister made me Sheva Berachos and invited some of her friends, and some of them gave me a gift (like a pretty picture frame, a crystal fruit platter, etc..). I certainly didn't expect it.

frimamom

Thu, Jul 22 2010, 11:10 am

The newly married couple usually doesnt pay for the sheva bruchos. You are giving the gift to the parents.

Cookies n Cream

Thu, Jul 22 2010, 11:19 am

frimamom wrote:

The newly married couple usually doesnt pay for the sheva bruchos. You are giving the gift to the parents.

Why would you consider it a gift to the parents?
SB is not the parent's responsibilty.
You don't must have a SB, it's only IF you have a minyan, then you say the brachos...
That being said, I would definitely consider a SB a gift.