6 year old DD dresses herself...kinda

SingALong

Sat, Jul 17 2010, 10:28 pm

recently, my 6 yr old DD has started dressing herself in the mornings, brushing her own hair and teeth independently. I am SUPER proud of her. lastely, she even expressed wanting to pick her clothing herself. she has a lot of mix and match so for the most part she's ok with matching.

some days however, she doesn't mathc too well and her hair, though in a pony, is really sloppy. although I care very much that she should look groomed and neat. however, I also don't want to criticize her when she does all this independently. is it so terrible if I just let it go, like if her socks don't match etc. is it really the biggest deal in the world? she's in day camp now not school.

I sometimes make gentle suggestions like "I think that outfit will look pretty with white socks" or "perhaps you want to wear the pink shirt instead with that skirt?"

for the most part, I tell her how proud I am and how I can't believe how grown up she's being because I really want to encourage her sense of independence and security of dressing herself. any suggestions?

mamaleh

Sun, Jul 18 2010, 12:07 am

Keep up the great work! Keep making subtle suggestions or maybe help her pick out her outfit the night b4. One Mom I know just packaged outfits (in bags or on hangers) so that dd just picked an entire outfit.
In terms of letting her go out like that: realize that most Morahs (and I assume counselors) of that age kids realize that some kids dress themselves.
One idea for her hair, maybe offer her braids or some other style she can't do herself (pigtails, bun, etc.) that way she won't be insulted, but she'll still look neat. It could even be an incentive for getting herself dressed or for picking out her clothes the night b4. "If you're big enough to do this then you deserve a big girl hair style"
Hatzlacha and you should always see nachas!

zigi

Sun, Jul 18 2010, 1:42 pm

I give dd tips like white tights go with everything and how to match colors. I keep some of her clothing together in outfits and then she has denim skirts and shirts that she can pick out.

with hair though. just make sure that her hair is brushed by you every once in a while so it doesn't get knots.

Tehilla

Sun, Jul 18 2010, 1:45 pm

My daughter finds it important to match and we find that laying out an outfit the night before (complete with hair accessories) works wonders. My other daughter could care less if she matched, ha, but likes independence so we do the same thing.

Another idea is to put complete outfits in the drawers so she can pick out an outfit instead of pieces (shirt drawer, skirt drawer, etc).

Btw, sounds like you are doing great with gentle suggestions already.

Lilkingdom

Sun, Jul 18 2010, 1:49 pm

My daughter is 2 1/2 and gets dressed fully alone for a while now! She tells me wether or not she likes the oufit I prepared for her in the morning. She makes comments like 'I dont like this dress' or 'ooohhh this skit is pretty'! She puts on her socks and shoes alone, brushes her teeth, washes her body in bath alone...

Am I in for a lot of trouble when she'll be 6 years old? LOL

mominlkwd

Sun, Jul 18 2010, 2:04 pm

zigi wrote:

Exactly. I tell DD things like "black can be paired with anything. Pink and Red do not go together most of the time etc." Sometimes she wants to wear them anyway and so be it. If she really looks funny you can tell the teacher "DD dressed herself today isn't she great" but most likely she realizes it's not you, she probably has a daughter also.

You sound like an awesome mother so don't worry to much.

amother

Sun, Jul 18 2010, 2:33 pm

This from a mom whose ds used to wear two different-colored socks. with shorts, so they showed. My initial impulse was to insist he wear matching socks, before I stopped to think: In the long run, what does it matter? By the time he's Bar mitzvah he'll surely wear matching socks. And if he wears mismatched socks, if I ch"V lose sight of him, telling the police he was wearing one red and one white sock should make him easier to spot. it's more important to encourage his independence than to force him to dress according to arbitrary social conventions. within reason, of course. No T-shirts to shul.

Neatness is a different story. I wouldn't let a child go out with messy hair. But matching/not matching is an arbitrary matter of taste, and while I might suggest combinations that are more conventional, I wouldn't make a big deal about it.

I'm pleased to report he no longer wears mismatched socks, and on occasion is even a bit of a natty dresser. He tells me when what I'm wearing "doesn't go"!

SingALong

Sun, Jul 18 2010, 3:05 pm

k thanks everyone!! she actually started preparing her clothing the night beforehand sometimes also! but now with summer daycamp starting later, mornings are slow and she has tons of time to pick, choose, and get dressed.
for the most part her hair is pulled back in a pony, lookd ok, there are just bumps and the pony doesn't last till the end of day camp she comes home with her hair flying!!

my 3 year old started doing the same thing!!! she insists on picking certain clothing, they usually do not match at all, color or even she'll put a skirt under a jumper, and 2 shirts. nothing matching. but she feeld liek a million bucks. I told her morah she likes to dress herself sooooo.....

me and the interesting looking duo happily march to day camp each day...I guess that's what's most important!!!