moving vs kids commute to school

amother

Mon, Jul 26 2010, 8:48 am

There's a chance we may need to move to a different community within the same city area because of DH's work. We can probably rent first before deciding to buy, we're renting now so no messy housing situation. The thing is, for various reasons (the biggest being the tuition break and the level of lumudei chol), my kids who will be in 4th & and 2nd grade and Pre-K in Sept will have to stay in the current schools at least for the time being.

How long of school runs would you consider is ok for the kids that age? Right now it's like 15min drive to school, but the move will increase it to 45min one-way. There won't be many families sending the kids to the same school my kids go to now, so either DH or I will have to be the one to chauffer the kids.

The proposal came up all at a sudden, so I'm still digesting the idea. Anything else I need to consider before DH accept the position (which will start in Sept)?

Ruchel

Mon, Jul 26 2010, 9:06 am

It all depends on your kids (and your!) level of energy.

My dh lived once WAY OOT, some kids had 1h to 1h30 commute each way to a Jewish school. For some it was bearable, for many it was hard, for some it was just not possible. I also know of such stories, of a girl who had to get up at 5 for commute etc...

45 minutes per se should be fine, if it doesn't mean they have to get up very early.
Good luck on whatever you decide!

Emee

Mon, Jul 26 2010, 2:11 pm

We are pretty much in the same boat and looking at a 1.5 hour commute for kids!! But the thngs we took into consideration:
1. this is temporary until we can switch schools (if you plan on doing this for more than a year I think it may be too much on little kids)
2. Our quality of life will improve with the move
3. The community is a better fit for us hashkafically etc.
I wish you much hatzlacha with your decision.

Raisin

Mon, Jul 26 2010, 2:38 pm

I think 45 minutes is manageable, I know many kids who have that length commute. Is it 45 minutes with or withour traffic? at 8.30am there can be a lot of traffic.

It's going to be hard on you and dh since you will have to drive. Will there be any families in your new area you can carpool with?

Barbara

Mon, Jul 26 2010, 3:04 pm

amother wrote:

I take it that there is no possibility that your DH could commute, so your kids could stay near their school.

45 minutes is a relatively long commute. Remember that its likely to be longer with traffic, and in bad weather. You also need to consider what you will do if one child wants to stay for after-school activities, or if the school day lengthens for older kids. What if your car breaks down? Or if you're not feeling well?

Also remember that's 3 hours of daily driving for you. If school starts at 8:30 (eg), you'd need the kids in the car no later than 7:35, to give yourself a little leeway. Then you wouldn't get home until a little after 9. For a 4 pm pick-up, you'd need to be on the road a little after 3, and wouldn't be home until 4:45 or later.

Peanut2

Mon, Jul 26 2010, 3:30 pm

I had an hour long commute at the end of elementary school and survived. My neighbor went to the same school, which was nice, but otherwise I had no connection to the kids in my neighborhood. Growing up, I thought it was normal. And it still is. Where I am now the kids that go to the Jewish school commute for anywhere between 20 minutes to an hour, with 40 minutes or so probably being the average.

JollyMommy

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 2:31 am

I used to commute this long for school and vowed not to do this to my kids. even for the best kids, it's very hard. I would say 20 minutes is the max (which really ends up being 45 minutes with stuff that comes up like carpool, traffic etc)

our 30 minute trip never took that long. I used to end school at 4 and get home at 5:30.

not ok. especially for little kids..

Tablepoetry

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 4:55 am

I had an hour commute in high school. But I was fine with it; it was my choice (I could have gone to a closer school), and I was totally independant - taking the train/bus on my own each way.

Here it's not just your kids, it's you. Are you and dh working? Will you be able to incorporate another 2 (probably more) hours of driving into your day? Is it 45 min when the street is empty, or at rush hour?

It would be a totally different situation if your kids were on a school bus for an hour each way. You wouldn't have the added commute, and they would have a chance to bond with other students who live next to them.

You must consider that all your kids classmates will live far away. They won't be able to just hop over to a friend after school. Going to a friends' birthday party will require you sacrifice an entire evening. School clubs and afterschool activities will be out of the question. Kids who live far away from the student body have it harder socially.

In your place, I would move if dh's position is a really good one, if quality of life will improve (better house, etc), and IF the schooling situation is temporary. I wouldn't commit to driving them for their entire school career.