giving my 10 year old "the" talk

BrachaC

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 10:15 am

My (just) 10 year old daughter is going with my in-laws to Florida next week on vacation. I got my period at my grandparents house (my father was there not my mother) a month before I turned 10. I feel like I need to present the possibility to her in a very to the point, and positive way- but SOON. I have debated buying her the Wonder of Becoming You book, but she is not the most awesome reader and she definitely does not like to be pressured into reading- she is bH doing reading now on her own and I don't want to ruin that.

I feel like I could just cover the basics of having a uterus, hormones that cause things to happen (I.e. nothing she does or does not do will cause/prevent), that it is ultimately the first step on the journey to having a baby and the body "practices" for a while? Self care- using a pad, changing etc.

Am I missing anything? What else does she really need to know at ten?

Also- I know that eventually she will understand the importance of this conversation, but right now I want to keep it matter of fact and low key. Is that a mistake?

amother

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 10:34 am

I am a big fan of matter of fact and low key. That's how I present all these birds and bees facts to my kids.

You seem to know exactly what you're doing. I would also let her know at what age you got your period, and maybe even where. What to do in such a situation, etc.

I just told my daughter about periods a few months ago (age nine and a half) although she had already heard the basics from friends. I also told her how babies are made (yes, I know, controversial on this board). I didn't tell her everything in one sitting though. I never had The Talk. I did it casual and low key, whenever I could work it into the conversation. I really hate the awkwardness and pressure of having a formal Talk.
BTW, I did buy a book and my daugher wants nothing of it. She's more than happy to chat with me about it though. (and she is a reader).

amother

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 10:35 am

amother

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 11:05 am

My dd's school schedules an evening for moms of grade 5 girls, to go over the medical, hashkafic and mothering points. Very helpful in knowing how to talk to your dd.
Keep in mind that you do not need to talk about relations/how babies are made, at this point, unless she ahs questions, or you think she knows something.
I tell them that they're starting to grow up, and becoming young lady. Hormones are now being made by your body to help you grow up. they will affect you in diff ways: skin, body shape, hair on underarms, pelvic area, and legs. Talk about acne cream, washing face, shaving. then about period, in simple words, body getting ready to one day have baby (takes time to practice! LOL

). Tell her about cramps, pads, that every secretary and teacher can help at any time, keeping track of teh months so she'll be ready, that it's erratic at the beginning. Also that girls get the first time anywhere from 9-16, 11-14 being most common.
Also, that this is s/t which is tzinus, private and special. not to be discussed among girls. BUT she can ALWAYS ask s/o - me, teacher, whoever for ANY question, big or small.

Mazal tov on your growing daughter!