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Forum
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-> Simcha Section
OOTBubby
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 Tue, Aug 24 2010, 4:48 pm
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I went to a Rebbishe wedding in EY -- Kabbolas Ponim started around 6:00, chupah around 7:30, the rest went all night, ending with the men davening vasikin!
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sarahd
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Tue, Aug 24 2010, 5:19 pm
A high school friend of mine is the daughter of a rebbe. Her wedding started around 6ish and ended at 5 AM. No wait, it didn't end then, but that was when I left because I had to get home to change for work.
A non-rebbish friend of mine got married on Sunday afternoon. Chupah at 3. I thought I'd be home by 7. I got home at 11 and they hadn't even bensched yet.
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OOTBubby
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Tue, Aug 24 2010, 6:59 pm
| sarahd wrote: | | friend of mine got married on Sunday afternoon. Chupah at 3. I thought I'd be home by 7. I got home at 11 and they hadn't even bensched yet. |
That's happened to me numerous times -- it seems that because they're starting early they think they've got all the time in the world.
B"H, here, almost all evening chasunahs have chupah promptly at 7:00 and are totally finished before 11:00, often bentsching even after the first course.
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Raisin
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Tue, Aug 24 2010, 7:33 pm
| sarahd wrote: | A high school friend of mine is the daughter of a rebbe. Her wedding started around 6ish and ended at 5 AM. No wait, it didn't end then, but that was when I left because I had to get home to change for work.
A non-rebbish friend of mine got married on Sunday afternoon. Chupah at 3. I thought I'd be home by 7. I got home at 11 and they hadn't even bensched yet. |
I went to a wedding like that. it was in the middle of nowhere so you couldn't even go home. Much of the time there was not much happening.
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OheivYisrael
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Tue, Aug 24 2010, 7:59 pm
| yo'ma wrote: | I went to a bar mitzva this past motzei shabbos and my first one here. It was called for 9:30pm, started about an hour later and wasn't over until...3:30am  . I left at 12:30  . It's so normal for here, but I just can't do it. My dh heard from someone, I don't know if it was a joke or the truth, but at some weddings here, they serve breakfast.   |
I think it's true about the weddings, yo'ma.
For all of my relatives' weddings in Mexico, they do serve breakfast-- it's officially part of the wedding. They were all on Motzai shabbos and ended around 7 am. Breakfast was around 5 or so. But they're not frum (kosher caterer, though). From what I've seen, that's standard.
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amother
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Tue, Aug 24 2010, 8:03 pm
| OOTBubby wrote: | | sarahd wrote: | | friend of mine got married on Sunday afternoon. Chupah at 3. I thought I'd be home by 7. [b]I got home at 11 and they hadn't even bensched yet[/b]. |
That's happened to me numerous times -- it seems that because they're starting early they think they've got all the time in the world.
B"H, here, almost all evening chasunahs have chupah promptly at 7:00 and are totally finished before 11:00, often bentsching even after the first course. |
Wow... you consider after 11 late for bensching?? Most weddings I go to dinner is served at 11! True, theyre not called for 3.. but who in the world would expect to be home from a wedding by 7pm???
And why "baruch Hashem" that most weddings are at 7 and done before 11? Why are people so invested in quick no-nonsense weddings? I find this soo sad. What happened to the flavor of Judaism.. not just wham bam thank you mam, sheva brachos and then off home you go. Hiddur mitzvah ladies! I have lil babies at home so I know it's hard to stay out all night but Id sooo much rather leave early from a lively, happening party where I know it is this couple's once in a lifetime moment.. than wish the party ended promptly in time for me to go home for the evening news!
Remember that feeling when you were a kallah that this wedding is truly the uniting of you, your fiance, and Hashem... like earth-moving... Well lets not forget that when our "sisters" are going through that same wonderful time in life, even though weve got work, children, sleep-deprivation, household duties, in laws, etc etc etc on our minds.. that's THEIR time to shine. Let them revel in it!
I dont mean to sound condescending at all.. I just have been at so many "simchas" where those invited feel the need to dictate the agenda or whine about it being late, etc... instead of being there in the spirit of pure misameach chatan v'kallah
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Raisin
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Tue, Aug 24 2010, 8:12 pm
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11 is late when it starts at 3 and is non stop. I think many people like to make sunday weddings so they can finish early but still have a long wedding.
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talented
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Tue, Aug 24 2010, 8:26 pm
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I totally agree with amother about realizing that this night is special for the kallah, chosson, their parents and close family. They waited for this night, and will remember this forever. Why rush things so? Let everybody be happy for the family, and if YOU must go home, then go.
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yo'ma
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Tue, Aug 24 2010, 8:35 pm
| talented wrote: | | I totally agree with amother about realizing that this night is special for the kallah, chosson, their parents and close family. They waited for this night, and will remember this forever. Why rush things so? Let everybody be happy for the family, and if YOU must go home, then go. |
but it doesn't have to go on forever 
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onelove26
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Tue, Aug 24 2010, 8:45 pm
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The wedding of a hassidish friend of mine was called to start at 3 p.m. I should have known that this was going to go on FOREVER when after dinner and dessert, they put out a new buffet of cholent, shnitzle, etc. It didn't end until nearly 4am!!!
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Yocheved84
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Tue, Aug 24 2010, 8:47 pm
I wanted my Sunday wedding over by 8 PM, though that day I wished it was 9! Either way, I knew that people had to work the next day or travel back to OOT, so I wanted to take how they felt into consideration. (How they feel makes me feel guilty or not.)
I also didn't want to have bags on my eyes and be tired cranky the first night with DH!
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shanie5
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Sun, Aug 29 2010, 10:30 am
There is such a thing as "too much of a good thing".
Even a chosson and kallah will have "enough" after a while. Also, if the wedding ends w/ breakfast, are the chosson kallah allowed to be alone before nightfall?
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Zus
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Mon, Aug 30 2010, 4:12 am
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I removed a pointless amother post.
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Mama Bear
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Mon, Aug 30 2010, 11:01 am
My chasuneh started at 7 pm and ended at 3:30 a.m.
The only people obligated to stay til the end of the wedding are the parents and siblings of the chosson kallah, the rest can go home....
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Aribenj
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Mon, Aug 30 2010, 7:45 pm
Mine was LONG! But I guess it didn't feel that way since it was sort of broken up between Kabalat Panim/Tisch, Ceremony and Reception. And since my parents footed the bill and insisted, we had simcha dancing, and then the Mechitza was removed and we had mixed dancing ... Plus benching, and the hour of cocktails while we took pictures after the Chuppah, and then a few of Dh's friends who did fun things with bottles on their heads and fire, speeches, 3 course meal... well it really didn't feel so long...
It was called for 3PM (didn't really start on time. Not my fault!) and we left around 1 and there were still people hanging around! My parents didn't leave till 2:30!!!
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yo'ma
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Sun, Jun 05 2011, 8:03 pm
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I think this takes the cake. My dd is at a bas mitzva that started at 12 in the afternoon and was told it will be over at 9. It's 9 now and I'm waiting for her to come home. A friend is bringing her home . She said they first have a reception in one part of the hall and then the sit down in another part. What do they think this is, a wedding????
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yo'ma
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Sun, Jun 05 2011, 8:07 pm
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Okay, she's home and it was over 8:45, EIGHT HOURS AND FORTY FIVE MINUTES for a bas mitzva!!!!!!!!!
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zaq
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Sun, Jun 05 2011, 11:38 pm
| talented wrote: | | I totally agree with amother about realizing that this night is special for the kallah, chosson, their parents and close family. They waited for this night, and will remember this forever. Why rush things so? Let everybody be happy for the family, and if YOU must go home, then go. |
at the risk of sounding indelicate, the chosson and kallah have a certain obligation to each other that it's best if they're not dead on their feet when they attempt to fulfill it. And may I point out that that obligation is supposed to be conducted in a darkened room, something that can be difficult to achieve if the wedding ends close to shacharis time. Five-six hours is more than enough for a simcha. Beyond that it becomes a tircha for everyone involved. You think the chosson-kallah really want to hang around so long? then you've forgotten your own wedding. If they aren't thinking "how soon can we split this joint and get our own show on the road" there's something not quite right there. Unless of course it's chuppas nidah, in which case, what the heck.
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Mama Bear
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Sun, Jun 05 2011, 11:57 pm
HAHA!!! I was going to comment on this thread when I read my own post from a year ago.... lol...
| Mama Bear wrote: | My chasuneh started at 7 pm and ended at 3:30 a.m.
The only people obligated to stay til the end of the wedding are the parents and siblings of the chosson kallah, the rest can go home.... |
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