Anyone else with little kids not going to shul?

lech lecha08

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 5:27 am

This seems to be the first year I'm not even attempting to daven at shul. B"H I have 3 little kids and the oldest is only 4. My oldest can sit quietly for a bit and keep quiet but my 2 year old just doesn't sit. I know the minute she gets up, then my 4 yr old also will and want to run around.
Last year, DH davened neitz so I got to shul with the regular davening a bit before the first shofar blowing. That's not an option this year but I am planning on taking the kids very close to the end of shul so I can hear the shofar.
What about everyone else?

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 5:34 am

I have not gone to shul in 2 years (so three years ago I was in shul)

I tried last year, BIG mistake. my daughter wanted to run around so I went home.

I am not going this year as she is MUCH more active than last year and I just find it inappropriate to go to shul with a child that can not sit still. (that being MY opinion)

raspberry tea

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 5:38 am

Just read this, on shabbos, by R Menachem Mendel Gluckowsky, rav of Rechovot and member of the Beis Din Rabbanei Chabad in Eretz Yisroel:

Q. ...woman who have babies and young children belong at home and not in shul?

A. Yes indeed. Women must take care of their children. That's the first priority. And they should hear the shofar with their children.

I can understand this and even agree. But, if I don't go to shul how are we going to hear the shofar? (my DH's not prepared to do blow it for us on RH)

shalhevet

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 5:52 am

Find a shul where you can hear the shofar outside - it only takes 5-10 minutes. In EY there are many shuls like that, and sometimes you can find one right next to a playground.

Or you can switch off with another mother - one goes for the first tekios, and one goes for mussaf. Children for hearing the shofar is gil chinuch - around 5 or 6 - not babies and toddlers.

chasidisteh

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 5:57 am

I have a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old. I am Iy"H due on Rosh Hashana. I would ideally love to go but it is just not a possibility. I will try to go to the shul on my corner just to hear Shofar but if not my husband bought a shofar with the possibility of having to blow it for me.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 6:00 am

many times, in different places that I have lived, there is a second shofar blowing for people who were not able to make it to shul for whatever reason.

sunny90

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 6:07 am

No, my DS is 9 months old and I have no one to leave him with...
I may just go to shul if they have a kiddush afterwards, and DH will probably blow shofar for me...
That article that was in Binah this week really came just in time! I was feeling kind of low about not going to shul on RH for the first time since...I can't even remember! But being a mommy is my tafkid right now, and I'll just daven Shacharis while DS is having his morning nap I guess!

Shuly

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 6:13 am

For years, I tried to concentrate on davening while other people's kids ran in and out of shul, disturbing everyone. B"H I am grateful to stay home with my son again this year.

raspberry tea

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 6:19 am

shalhevet wrote:

I have a shul next to me, davening is starting there at 9am. What part of the shofar blowing do I need to hear to being yotzei hearing the shofar? (will have to ask) Last year this place didn't repeat the shofar blowing at the end.

Zus

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 6:19 am

I would go to shul for at least mussaf if I wouldn't be 10 days PP.
So now I'm planning to go for a few minutes only to hear the shofar. I don't think I'll feel up to more. I didn't even reserve me a seat.

Marion

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 6:32 am

Haven't decided yet. On Shabbat we usually go for leining, and my kids are good about sitting for that. RH leining is shorter. For sure we're going to go for the 2nd tekiot at the end for the women; I don't see a good reason not to take them then...they've been learning about shofar in gan (well, what there's been of gan!) and are looking forward to it. I will not go into the shul though; usually they open the back door (between the men and the lobby) and we stay in the lobby.

shabri

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 7:46 am

2 yrs ago, Dh started davening neitz and then takes the kids so I have a chance go daven. It doesn't work out perfectly, they finish part of the way into mussaf, but I still get an hr or so by myself in shul.

soldat

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 7:55 am

yes, but the kids will be in junior congragation, babysitting etc. and BTW, I will be one of the teachers of junior congragation - I take turns with another teacher so that we each end up getting at least one full day of davening. (I really and truely believe that doing junoir congragation is just as important as davening with a minyan)

RachelEve14

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 8:11 am

This is the first year I am going alone in years! Dh is davaning neitz, then he will take the children up the hill to his shul for the chidren's service and shofar blowing. I will be davaning across the street ALL BY MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When the kids were really little, my friend's ds blew shofar for me. The last few years I have brought the kids to the shul across the street just for shofar blowing. They open the door to the woman's section for shofar so people sitting outside can hear. I don't believe in bringing my kids junk to sit still, I time it so we get there at the right time, and they sit still and listen and I went home right after. As I said, I was outside so if there was an issue it was easy enough take them home. Last year I actually went a little *too* late and missed shofar and the rav kindly brought me up to his house and blew for me.

chaylizi

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 8:44 am

Zus wrote:

Ditto on the PP bit. I'm planning to go for shofar. I don't know how I'd keep the whole crew quiet anyway.

shlomitsmum

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 9:02 am

I'm not going this year again DD is a tad LOUD she can't be quiet singing lalala dadada LOL and she likes to stand on chairs tables whatever embarrassed

!
I cant' imagine sitting in shul with such an active toddler messing up peoples kavanah embarrassed

.
So this year I'm davening at home if I get a chance while she naps!
none of my other kids were like she is at this age ..she expects ALL to look at her and interact with her or she SCREAMS ....I firmly say NO! and hope she outgrows this Wink

...my little loud brat Twisted Evil

watergirl

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 9:04 am

Can I vote twice? Smile

Last year I was new to my city and wasnt used to the lack of kids programming. I also had a new born. While older DD was in tears cause she had to miss shul for the first time (for her, shul meant shabbos groups!) I was also in tears. On Yom KIppur, I was literally tucking the kids in bed and I realized I could clearly hear Neilah through her bedroom window from a sefardi shul right behind us (thank Gd for screaming Sefardim!!!) and cried again as I said Shemah and heard shofer through my window.

This year, DH told me he got me a seat, and he plans to daven neitz so I can go.
Then he added the phrase Im trying so hard not to get mad at him for... "If I wake up in time"! Grrrr. Why bother?

Mirabelle

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 9:06 am

My shul has a "babysitting" room where most of the mothers with young kids hang out...so I will be getting the kiddies all dressed up and going...and probably spend approx 5 minutes in the actual davening...my big girl is ok running around with her friends and can sit with me for a bit and the twins are usually actually pretty quiet in shul, but I dont think the crowds will appreciate my double stroller going in and out....