Motivating very lazy adult pupil

Ruchel

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 12:41 pm

The migraine topic reminded me of this.

One of my pupils is in adult age and VERY lazy.

In the beginning we worked in the kitchen, and already he "needed" very frequent "recess" to eat or just "rest", or he "catches head aches" and "cannot see anymore". He had an accident, that's why he's not in school and still not graduated HS. Some of his problems are real, but he also plays it. I want to be understanding because he's a big kid and he had an accident and I know how horrible migraines are, but I also have to work, because his mom is paying for his lessons!

In the beginning we progressed and worked for sure despite all this.

Over time his recesses became longer and longer, and now he "can't stand chairs" anymore because of his back, and he needs to work half sitting half lying on the couch, where there is no table. Urgh. Turning on tv for recess lead to a strugglet to not have him on tv or video games ALL the time. He asked if he cannot just lie on his bed but I said no way!! Still once he "forced" it by saying he's feeling awful and can only work like this.

Once I was 10 mins late and he had gone back to bed, I had to knock away because he had fallen asleep. Often when I arrive he just got up and still needs to eat and to wake up properly! I moved my arrival hour from 10 to 10.30 to 11, still the same, he mentions freely that he gets up "10mins before I arrive, at most".

He says if we just talk it's "oral French" and good too. But he acknowledges his parents do NOT want that. He even proposed that my husband could join us to "talk about religion". I said no of course. But the two last lessons have been a catastrophe.

Note: he's taller than me, similar-ish age group and interests, I allowed the use of "tu" and of first name (maybe I shouldn't have). I don't want to tell the parents because the kid hardly has any socialization. He is a clever kid, has gone through a lot, if it matters at all he's religious. Also I'm quick to be pitied on health stuff and not a good disciplinarian...

Any suggestion??

sneakermom

Thu, Nov 11 2010, 7:49 am

How long ago was the accident? And do you have any idea of his personality before the accident? How old is he ?

You could try being very focused. Have what you want to accomplish that day prepared on a piece of paper for him to see. Tell him that you will slice the time in half if you both can accomplish it in that time. Divide the amount of work into three smaller tasks so it is easier for him to handle it and he will feel accomplished each time he finishes that "task".

Also you could try to go with his resistance a bit. If he isn't interested in work perse then indeed only talk to him in french. Bring him in funny cartoons in french or maybe watch french tv with him, for part of the time. If he is laying on the couch, ask him to come up with a funny way in french to describe what he is feeling right then.....The key is perhaps to sneak french into his real interests.

Best of luck to you...this kid sounds like a real challenge.

Ruchel

Thu, Nov 11 2010, 8:36 am

Mirabelle, but his parents are paying!

Sneakermom, the accident was almost two years ago, and apparently he never liked to learn but at least he had a job project (that he absolutely cannot do anymore).

He talks in French the whole day, but it won't teach him proper grammar or spelling, that's the world today lol. True, at least on tv it's generally correct. Like many young people he cannot speak a "good" French and even less write it! internet and textos don't help either...

I'll try the ideas and let you know!

Thu, Nov 11 2010, 8:55 am

Mirabelle wrote:

You know what my DH would say? If he's paying you then it ain't your problem, enjoy the money.
Meaning, it's this guy's money and if he wants to waste it by taking breaks than that's not your issue.

Is he paying? Somehow I thought I remember you saying you sometimes do this for free. If he is paying by the hour, then he wastes his own money and thats fine. If not and your doing this as a chessed I would not tolerate his lack of respect for your time and I would expect the same commitment for him as you are are giving. if you wont 'fire' him then I would be very strict about my time commitment and even if he spent the time eating or in the bathroom I would send him on his way when his time was up, 5:00-5:30 if he comes at 5:10 then he gets 20 min, and you show him to the door at 5:30 anyway.

Thu, Nov 11 2010, 9:02 am

Ruchel, I see you you said his parents are paying.

Does he WANT to be learning these things and its difficult OR can you tell he really doesnt want to be there, or really doesnt think this is important.

Either way I would make the schedule very strict and if he cares he will see that he is not progressing because of his antics. If its the parents that want this, then you can ask one of them to stay with you so they can 'discipline' him while you teach. If they are OK with his behavior then they will see you are trying and if they want to keep throwing their money away than thats OK.