If we are talking abuse..

amother

Thu, Dec 09 2010, 5:06 pm

I see there is all this hype about molesting and zxual abuse and it is a great thing that it is coming out in the open and getting worked on. But there are so many other forms of abuse that is not taken care of. I got thrown out of the house as a preteen just bec. I was a gem of a child, always behaving but I was emotionally and mentally abused and tortured. I reap the consequences for this day. I have a hard time sleeping, hard time making friends or maintaining and a lot of other struggles I have day to day.
There are probably other children and families suffering the way I did. will something be done about them too?

mammele26

Thu, Dec 09 2010, 6:42 pm

amother wrote:

I feel very sorry for what you went through. Hug

That being said, I think there's just one slight difference. I think that a child/teenager who was abused otherwise (not sxually) is BELIEVED if/when they come for help. Children/teens who are abused sxually, are very often NOT BELIEVED. And people actually REFUSE TO HELP THEM. Let alone lock up the perpetrator. These posters are trying to bring awareness. If you feel awareness is needed for your type of suffering, PLEASE MAKE OTHERS AWARE TOO. I would, if I would know what type of abuse you're talking about, how to pick up signs of such abuse and what should be done- which you as a victim would (probably) know.

Ima2NYM_LTR

Thu, Dec 09 2010, 7:08 pm

actually Mamele, as a different survivor of verbal and emotional abuse (not the amother above), I can tell you that it is VERY HARD to find someone to believe you when you dont have physical 'proof'. I complained for years, social services got involved, but since I was fed, clothes and not beaten or molested, I was left in my home.

I think addressing all forms of abuse in both the frum and not frum world are equally important. perhaps though, the reason molesters are considered more 'dangerous' is because their abuse is not limited to the number of children they have. They could have hundreds of victims, and finding one and getting them help does not necessarily lead to finding the others.

perCoach

Thu, Dec 09 2010, 7:31 pm

I totally agree. my father in law is an abuser, and all my dh family came out of there with horrible emotional scars. on the other hand I know a family that the father is molesting his daughters and because his bros are vip rabbis the police (I israel) is afraid to touch him, even though the teachers have tried to get them out of the house. I still think that being molested is more horifying and emotionally cripling than mental and physical abuse. but I think that one does not exclude the other. its important to address both issues.

amother

Thu, Dec 09 2010, 7:48 pm

I was emotionally abused by my parents from age 5 till today. Not one person believes me. I suffered terribly as a child, I told teachers, counselors and other adults and I was always told that my parents are such good people it can't be true. I was even sent for therapy to talk about how I "think" my parents are abusing me when they are not. It got so bad I don't speak to them anymore. It makes me so angry that I went to so many people for help and not a single one believed me. I have scars today from it that are affecting my marriage.

mammele26

Thu, Dec 09 2010, 7:56 pm

It hurts me to read all these posts, BUT! You people have work to do! Please, raise the awareness. Like I asked in my first post, help us recognize victims, and tell us what you, as victims, would've appreciated to have been done. Would you want to be removed from the situation, would you want your parents to get treated, what?

Ima2NYM_LTR

Thu, Dec 09 2010, 8:08 pm

Good questions. At the time, I wanted to be removed from my step moms care, but even when my relatives 'took me away' that didnt really help because I found I wanted her love and respect. I dont know if she would have ever been able to give it, but I lost my dad for 4 years and my step mom forever because of it. there is no clear cut answer