Where's the forum for Ungifted, Unnatural, Undelayed kids?

BestMomBrooklyn

Wed, Dec 15 2010, 12:10 pm

Merrymom wrote:

There are many children that are delayed and yet perfectly normal. Why is that label so offensive? Is it because people use that sometimes as an insult to otherwise normal people?

for lack of better word in this unruly thread... the word [crazy] was a word that meant 'anybody that looks or act funny" and was now eliminated even by government agencies. From Wikipedia: The Office of Mental Retardation and Developmental Disabilities (OMRDD) is an independent agency in the state of New York, whose mission is to provide services and conduct research for those with mental retardation and developmental disabilities. This agency was renamed in July of 2010 to the Office for Persons With Develompmental Disabilities (OPWDD).

Ruchel

Wed, Dec 15 2010, 12:11 pm

Hashem made some people gifted.
Hashem made some people pretty.
Hashem made some people only.
Hashem made some people popular.
Hashem made some people tall.
Hashem made some people healthy.
Hashem made some people rich.

If people are so happy and comfy with not being/their kids not being the above, why the hatred in some circles? (the answer is obvious)

Soul on fire

Wed, Dec 15 2010, 12:25 pm

so are people who feel their children are special in some way just supposed to keep their mouths shut so that people with "regular" children don't get their panties (or boxers) all in a bunch? And I would bet that most people with gifted children also have ungifted children.
I think all these posts about sarcastically starting new forums is childish and just goes to show why a special forum is needed.
Since this is such a controversial topic it obviously can't be discussed in the mainstream forums.

Raisin

Wed, Dec 15 2010, 4:14 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

Kitov, just thank HaShem that you have a normal life, BH, a life that is desirable by very many.

(Sometimes I think some posters on this forum could do to spend one hour in the children with special needs forum just to see what theyre BH missing...)

MB, chv I don't think anyone is envious of mothers with kids with special needs. I think some people are dubious that mothers of gifted children need their own private forum where they can talk without getting "atttacked".

Now, I understand that mothers of kids with autism or DS might want a private forum. Not only is it challanging raising a such a child, it could also be very painful. While it may be very challanging raising a child who is gifted, I really really do not think mothers of such kids go to sleep at night crying that their son or daughter is very smart. Sure, they may worry if their needs are being met, but I think it is a whole different kind of pain.

(I've spent many hours with some wonderful and cute special needs kids, so I know a little where you are coming from)

Raisin

Wed, Dec 15 2010, 4:27 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

Raisin I wasnt begrudging anyone anything... I was just reacting to 'I want a forum for undelayed, ungifted' kids. That's what I call living a normal life! Isnt it great? Smile

I aint upset at Kitov, dont worry.

no, im just explaining that she is reacting to the mothers of gifted kids who want their own forum, not mothers of special needs kids.

kitov

Wed, Dec 15 2010, 4:52 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

Kitov, just thank HaShem that you have a normal life,

Define normal.

Just because I don't post micro details of my life, and I put up a pretty "because it's good" face on imamother, doesn't mean my life is so normal. BH for screen names, so we can live pretend lives here...and BH, I trust Hashem that he challenges me only with what I can handle.

amother

Thu, Dec 16 2010, 10:49 am

OM this is the forum for me.

My son is a normal kid in a very small school and the other kids in his very small class are gifted, so he is being pushed along at their pace. It is totally ruining our lives (the teacher sends home piles of homework and complains about our normal son holding back the class).

Exploding anger

I'm so glad I have a space to go to now to discuss my normal child who does not learn a week's worth of math in 10 minutes, and who isn't ready to do learning exercises that are paced 3 grade levels above his "class"...

gryp

Thu, Dec 16 2010, 10:53 am

BestMomBrooklyn wrote:

Merrymom wrote:

There are many children that are delayed and yet perfectly normal. Why is that label so offensive? Is it because people use that sometimes as an insult to otherwise normal people?

Thank you, BestMom.

My Mama taught me not to use the word "[crazy]" the first time she heard me say it, in 3rd grade. I'm shocked that it's still around.

saraleah2010

Thu, Dec 16 2010, 11:06 am

GR wrote:

BestMomBrooklyn wrote:

Merrymom wrote:

There are many children that are delayed and yet perfectly normal. Why is that label so offensive? Is it because people use that sometimes as an insult to otherwise normal people?

Thank you, BestMom.

My Mama taught me not to use the word "[crazy]" the first time she heard me say it, in 3rd grade. I'm shocked that it's still around.

I also learned that lesson in 3rd grade...

My 3rd grade teacher was trying to give us a phys-ed pep talk, and asserted that "anyone can run!" I spoke up and said, well, some [crazy] people can't. I was referring to my second cousin, who had spinal bifida and was wheelchair bound--I didn't have a good vocabulary to reference the condition. Wow, was I punished for that statement, and was NOT given an opportunity to explain my statement. That word went straight onto my "use with discretion" list (admittedly, at that point, I also did not have a good vocabulary to reference that list, but included on it were all the swear words that I had occasionally heard in my life).

gryp

Thu, Dec 16 2010, 11:32 am

saraleah2010 wrote:

GR wrote:

BestMomBrooklyn wrote:

Merrymom wrote:

There are many children that are delayed and yet perfectly normal. Why is that label so offensive? Is it because people use that sometimes as an insult to otherwise normal people?

Thank you, BestMom.

My Mama taught me not to use the word "[crazy]" the first time she heard me say it, in 3rd grade. I'm shocked that it's still around.

Thanks for sharing, saraleah. I enjoyed your story.

HindaRochel

Thu, Dec 16 2010, 12:15 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

All joking aside, I learned once, from a few places and no I don't know the sources, that children with special needs, those who are developmentally delayed or autistic or what-have-you are actually quite close to Hashem...I don't mean in the G-d loves them way, though that too, but more that there is a deep conversation going on between them and Hashem and that in the time of the Moshiach their wisdom will be revealed.

I don't know if it is true or not, but I think it is a beautiful thought.

Soul on fire

Thu, Dec 16 2010, 1:56 pm

HindaRochel wrote:

Mama Bear wrote:

I've always wondered about that, if they may have a better connection to Hashem.

the world's best mom

Thu, Dec 16 2010, 2:11 pm

FrumMamaPA wrote:

HindaRochel wrote:

Mama Bear wrote:

I've always wondered about that, if they may have a better connection to Hashem.

I would say that:

a- Hashem chooses carefully who would be good parents for His special Neshamos, and

b- Having a child (or children) with special needs makes people closer to Hashem because they see how they rely on Him more. It's easy to daven when things aren't going smoothly- the hard part is to remember Hashem when things are going well.

And BTW, [crazy] actually means slow. It is just used so wrong that it is considered insulting and not politically correct.