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Forum -> Parenting our children

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maofboys

Tue, Dec 21 2010, 11:26 am

I let my kids play in the morning too (my dh leaves for shull and I am still sleeping) it's only about 45 min. but sometimes by the time I wake up they have made a mess. ex. games on the floor, pretzels or cereal on the floor, crayons on the floor (they also like to move the beds around which I can't stand). when I tell them to clean up they say they can't, and I really think they are overwhelmed by the mess b/c I feel over whelmed by it, so I tell the to pick up one thing (ex. just the crayons.) so my question is how old should they be when they are really responsible for their own stuff. some days I am so angry I tell them anything left on the floor will go in the garbage. (ofcourse we are then late to school b/c they have to clean up. sometimes I think its my fault b/c I am not supervising them during this time. and sometimes I leave the mess and don't say anything b/c I would rather be ontime to school and do it myself later. btw my kids are young oldest is 5.

chocolate moose

Tue, Dec 21 2010, 11:33 am

To be left alone, with a sleeping parent, MUCH older than that !!! You're luck they didn't burn the house down!

maofboys

Tue, Dec 21 2010, 11:36 am

I know my kids and I know they would wake me if something happened. plus I am only half sleeping I would get up if I heared crying or a bang. they are in and out of my room all the time. most of the time they play nicly just gets messy quickly.

myfriends715

Tue, Dec 21 2010, 12:19 pm

my 3 yr olds are responsible for all the messes they make. I teach them (and its a work in progress) play w 1 big toy then clean up and play w a differnent one so u dont have to clean a million toys later

Tue, Dec 21 2010, 2:24 pm

In my experience, young children need supervision and guidance.

Very clear expectations help. For example, say "You have five minutes to finish up with the cars," then five minutes later say "Each toy car needs to be in the car box. Let's put the cars away for the next ten seconds. Then, get your coats," rather than "Kids, put your cars away before we go to school." They don't automatically know the details.

We used a lot of charts and checklists in those years as well.

If the food on the floor is around the table in the kitchen, well, they're little. If it is not around the table, they can learn to eat only at the table.

Forty-five minutes is a loooong time for little kids. I can only imagine the mess! You're right, little kids do get overwhelmed by mess. Maybe if you left a few items for them to use just in the morning - would that help? I am worried about safety, too. A five-year old doesn't have the judgement to supervise younger children if there are choking hazards/stove/water/broken sharp things, etc, in your house, even if they are very good kids.

Hope that helps.

Chayalle

Tue, Dec 21 2010, 3:17 pm

I guess I would consider it a wash....that's the price of those extra 45 minutes of sleep - a mess to clean up. I wouldn't expect much more from young kids like that.

Sure, get them to pitch in and help clean up, but I don't think there's room for anger here.

chocolate moose

Tue, Dec 21 2010, 9:05 pm

It's child abuse to leave kids that age home alone. (A sleeping mother is practically home alone.)

Until age 10, a child legally cannot be left alone.

Tue, Dec 21 2010, 9:12 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

Until age 10, a child legally cannot be left alone.

In the US, this varies from state to state. In my state, there is no minimum age.

chocolate moose

Tue, Dec 21 2010, 9:27 pm

I find that hard to believe.

gold21

Tue, Dec 21 2010, 9:28 pm

choc moose, its not illegal to doze when your kids are home with you.

chocolate moose

Tue, Dec 21 2010, 9:30 pm

She's not dozing.

Rubber Ducky

Tue, Dec 21 2010, 9:49 pm

Age at which kids may be left at home by themselves state by state: Home Alone Minimum Ages by State

Ma-of-boys sounds accessible and ready in case of emergency -- that's not home alone.

Ma, I would consider leaving out a few select "morning toys" and restricting the play area early in the morning. My foster son, and also 2 brothers who come early to my home before school (their mom goes to work really early) have strict instructions to play quietly in our Lego room or sit down with a book if I'm not up yet. If dear foster son wakes up before 7 he's supposed to stay in his room.

These kids are older than yours (8, 9, and 11) but I had the same rule with my bio sons when they were much younger than that. Even a very young child can learn to read important times on a clock -- and if they can't, you could set an alarm clock, or your DH could set a countdown timer when he leaves for shul.

Last edited by Rubber Ducky on Tue, Dec 21 2010, 9:52 pm; edited 1 time in total

Tue, Dec 21 2010, 9:50 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

I find that hard to believe.

Here ya go: Latchkey Kids website

Legality aside, parents/guardians must exercise judgement in deciding how closely to supervise their children. I agree that it's not a great idea to sleep while your small children are awake.

chocolate moose

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 11:09 am

Interesting, thanks for posting.

Every so often I hear of a mother who goes away and leaves really small kids by themselves. I guess with no minimum age requirement, it lends itself to ... misinterpretation.

sugaray

Thu, Dec 23 2010, 12:47 pm

I have locks on my toy closet and at night I take out a few toys for them and lock the closets.
in general though, I think you gotta weigh the cost vs benefit of the sitch. sleeping later means having a mess to deal with and you have to decide if its worth it. personally I wouldnt make them clean up before school if it means being late. just wait till you get home and can deal with it calmly.

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