(I dare you not to look) WRITERS CLUB part 2

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Forum -> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections -> The Imamother Writing Club

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robynm

Thu, Jan 06 2011, 1:47 pm

Hey Ladies,
It's me again!! Too many pages on the last thread. What are we up to? DAY 3... Pretty crazy... Catchy title, no? Did it get any new bait?

So I have heard from one moderator and still waiting to hear back from Yael for our own Forum. I'll keep you updated. In the meantime, keep posting your creations.

Any questions or comments always welcome either here or you can PM me.
Robyn 8)

superjew

Thu, Jan 06 2011, 2:16 pm

Just found this post!! haha. Seems like people are still busy commenting on the original post since the writings are there....

robynm

Thu, Jan 06 2011, 2:20 pm

thats fine. just gives a new, more roomy place Wink

robynm

Fri, Jan 07 2011, 12:10 pm

Hey all my Fellow Writers (and readers, I know you're out there)

This has been a huge success and I am so proud of each one of you that has braved sharing your writing with me and the rest of us.

Some requests have been made to keep this group open so others can read. What do you think?

Are we ready for a new topic? I have noticed some requests. BUt I do think that we should do it in a new thread because this one is getting very long. So I started a new on for everyone to move to.

Just click on The SOCIAL SCENE FORUM and you'll see that the second thread says:

(I dare you not to look) WRITERS CLUB part 2

So click on it. And let's start writing our new stuff there. For those of you that like writing your own topics, that totally works. And for those of you that like having a suggested topic you could either continue to write about SPACING OUT or as requested use the subject "I"

As usual, questions/ comments are always welcome!!!

Robyn

mosma

Fri, Jan 07 2011, 12:33 pm

Ok, on the subject "I" (I'm really not a poet. I do prose. as soon as anonymous posting is enabled I'll write more)

Who am I?
No,
Who is "me?"
Silly question
seemingly.
To those who know their inner face
finding "me" is commonplace.

Who am I?
No,
Who are you?
Are you happy with what you do?
Are you loving? Do you care?
No?
Then you and I are not a pair.

Who am I?
No,
Who are you?
Do you dance
pas de deux
and let life's rhythm fill your heart?
No?
Then you and I remain apart.

Who am I?
No,
Who are you?
Do you love
living days anew
and to feel the stinging
bullets
of the pelting rain?
Yes?
Then you and I are one the same.

sunshine!

Fri, Jan 07 2011, 12:38 pm

edit

Last edited by sunshine! on Mon, Jun 10 2013, 10:30 pm; edited 1 time in total

Grandmama

Fri, Jan 07 2011, 3:09 pm

I
What am I?
What are we all?

I sit and cry
As I wonder why
this week a girl of 12 just had to die

Another friend is so very ill,
she has suffered so.
Still
How can we let her go?

I sit and wonder
What am I
What are we all?

What are we supposed to think?
What are we supposed to do?
We are simply inadequate
We are so incomplete, so lacking.

Hashem is gathering his precious pearls way up high
The diamonds amongst us are fleeting, then they rise
These highly polished gems we have to embrace with a sigh
And cherish them while we have them here before we say good bye.

I continue to ponder
What and who am I
What are we all?

Our tefilos and good deeds? We have got to do more
Our future is wonderful for we believe whats in store
Amazing miracles await the deserving few
Who are so small, but to the One above,
each is a precious Jew

Our time here is so limited, like a flash of light
We live our lives trying to do what is good and right
Then one day we awake and wonder
What am I
Who am I
Have I lived?
Have I done all that I could have done?
When will the day come?
The day of the tears being wiped away
The day the questions will all have answers.

The day of ultimate joy that never ends.

sneakermom

Fri, Jan 07 2011, 3:45 pm

Sunshine! your poem was very gripping and clear. You elucidate the experience so well.

grin

Sat, Jan 08 2011, 11:32 am

sneakermom wrote:

Sunshine! your poem was very gripping and clear. You elucidate the experience so well.

all I can add is - Wow!

ra_mom

Sat, Jan 08 2011, 8:30 pm

sunshine!, your words went straight to my heart. Your writing, your outlook, is amazing.

the world's best mom

Sat, Jan 08 2011, 11:06 pm

I open my eyes, I’m beginning to wake.
The sun is shining in from so far away.
I put on my slippers, my first steps I take.
I thank Hashem for this brand new day.

I daven and then I begin to eat
Some cereal and milk with a piece of fruit.
My breakfast tastes delicious and sweet.
I thank Hashem for this yummy food.

I hear a voice; it’s my sweet little boy.
He gets out of bed and comes running to me.
As he gives me a hug, my heart fills with joy.
I thank Hashem for my children, all three.

I do many things as I go through my day.
Some are easy and some are fun,
Others are harder, but still I say,
Thank You Hashem for all that You’ve done.

For when things aren’t easy, they seem very tough,
It’s a message from Hashem for me.
If I really struggle and try hard enough,
My reward will be greater than the deep blue sea.

Each event in this world is a message from above.
For me to learn how to get Moshiach to come.
Each struggle I have is sent down with love,
As we say, “Bishvili Nivrah HaOlam”.

sneakermom

Sat, Jan 08 2011, 11:17 pm

the world's best mom...I like.

mummiedearest

Sat, Jan 08 2011, 11:41 pm

hi folks,

here's a poem I wrote years ago. it still speaks to me at times. it's sort of an "I" poem. I will, bli neder, post a happier/newer one sometime soon. meanwhile, here it is.

Drops from heaven
pour down
banging windows
forming puddles
on the ground.

A cloudy atmosphere
an unpleasant dampness
a bone-soaking chill
with no warmth in sight.

the sky is crying.

the sky is crying, and so am I.

edited to add that the word "I" was supposed to be lowercase. darn the auto-editor. I thought we got rid of that feature...

sunshine!

Sun, Jan 09 2011, 12:40 pm

edit

Last edited by sunshine! on Mon, Jun 10 2013, 10:31 pm; edited 1 time in total

superjew

Sun, Jan 09 2011, 12:55 pm

Wow! Mummidearest & sunshine LOVE yours! Gotta get mine 2gether, been hectic over the weekend so either tonight or tomorrow iyH b'n Smile

keep it up ladies!

dveikus

Sun, Jan 09 2011, 1:14 pm

sunshine! wrote:

The quiet in the room,
The tension in the air,
The beeping of machinery,
The only way I know you’re here

.......

And then, as your soul soared heavenward
I thought I heard you say
Don’t worry dearest, I am here
Watching over you each day

Okay, this made me cry!!!!!! Your words hit me right in my heart. Crying

Marigold

Sun, Jan 09 2011, 2:04 pm

Sunshine, grandmama: wow.

Worlds best mom, beautiful!!

the world's best mom

Sun, Jan 09 2011, 4:57 pm

Alone with me

I’m alone in the house.
Noone’s in here but me.
I begin to think
Am I who I want to be?

I’m a mother of three.
I try to be a good wife.
I have many hobbies
That add to my life.

I feel quite fulfilled.
I think I’ve done well.
(Though I’ve made some mistakes
Which I hope you won’t tell.)

I have some good friends
And we have lots of fun.
Not too many enemies
From whom I must run.

Then I think what will happen
Achar Mayah V’Esrim.
Will Hashem think I’m good
When I return to Heaven?

What about all of the
Lashon Hara I’ve said,
And the times that I’ve potched
My kids who were bad?

Did I really keep Shabbos
The best that I could?
Do I respect my husband
As much as I should?

And how many times
Have I seen people in need?
Have I tried to help out
Or was I too full of greed?

While it’s easy to think
I’m the best I can be,
It’s important to remember
Hashem Who created me.

For His eye always sees
And His ear always hears.
He hears our hearts secrets
And sees all our fears.

He knows when we try
The hardest we can,
And He knows when we’re lazy,
He Who created man.

mummiedearest

Sun, Jan 09 2011, 6:27 pm

interesting to see how everyone interpreted "I" as a theme. I think we're losing the critique aspect of this group on this second thread. if I may start a discussion about the theme, I'd like to know how all the authors define "I" in the context of their pieces. what makes your piece about "I" as opposed to just containing a first person point of view?

I'd also like to know what element of structure is most important to the various authors. how much do you care about rhyme schemes, syllables, and general meaning? Most importantly, how do you define poetry?

I enjoy reading everyone's writings, but I find it hard to just sit and read them one after another. discussions are good for transitions. let's discuss.

sunshine!

Sun, Jan 09 2011, 6:52 pm

I would love for someone (or everyone!) to critique my work!

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