(I dare you not to look) WRITERS CLUB part 2

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Forum -> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections -> The Imamother Writing Club

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View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Sherri

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 3:13 pm

sunshine! wrote:

I try to forget the pain
Of losing what was not yet mine,
<snip>
But a healing will come
I’ll prepare once again
G-d’s will shall be done
It’s just a matter of when

This poem is amazing. You hit the nail on the head, especially the first and last paragraphs. Wow.

robynm

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 7:34 pm

the world's best mom wrote:

robynm, I think it probably was smart. Very Happy

but were u surprised by the ending? thats the question?

Smile1

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 8:28 pm

I hate poetry, but this one is from the time I used to like it.

The stage is my life
And life is a stage.
With my infinite power
I lead my role
The lead role – I say.
The curtains, props,
And microphones
Of my life’s act
Lie intact
Beneath
My cerebral membrane
And skull;
Perpetrating
Cunning scenes
Infiltrating
Others' schemes;
And I feel at home
Standing in the spot
Being scrutinized
By gaping eyes,
Being idolized
For my disguise;
And my technical support
Is safe at my side –
Inside.
It allows for fantasy
To become reality
It is so plain to see
This is my malady.
I have my props
The breathtaking scenery
My chords are on key
And my voice – serenity.
How I recite
Line after line
Captivating, Oh!
My audience.

Yet sometimes, I question
This potential of mine
Wrapped beneath
Those layers of membrane.
Am I grasping its weight?
Am I correctly using?
Or am I playing with fate,
My power abusing?

But then…
My inner coach assaults me
With brazen confidence
And I assume a role
Of timely diffidence.
I am acting so well,
I am in a dilemma.
Am I being disillusioned
By my very own drama?

the world's best mom

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 10:16 pm

robynm wrote:

the world's best mom wrote:

robynm, I think it probably was smart. Very Happy

but were u surprised by the ending? thats the question?

Yes. It was a very cute ending.

the world's best mom

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 10:18 pm

Smile1 wrote:

Great poem! Why did you stop liking poetry if you are so good at writing it?

Smile1

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 10:28 pm

The prevalent fad of tumbling verse must have done it to me. I became allergic to poems that boasted fancy metaphors and shallow messages. Now I'm left with an enormous collection of poems gathering dust. It's short stories season for me.

the world's best mom

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 10:30 pm

Not all poems have fancy metaphors and shallow messages. But if you choose to stick with short stories, go ahead. Do we get to sample some of your short stories?

Smile1

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 10:39 pm

Is true, but hey! That's what taste buds are here for. Poems with good, solid rhythm can sometimes still strike my fancy, though.

You may have sampled two or three of them in Binah. Hopefully more to come.

the world's best mom

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 10:41 pm

I don't read the Binah. Oh well.

robynm

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 10:49 pm

the world's best mom wrote:

robynm wrote:

the world's best mom wrote:

robynm, I think it probably was smart. Very Happy

but were u surprised by the ending? thats the question?

Yes. It was a very cute ending.

it really has a different ending

the world's best mom

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 10:52 pm

robynm wrote:

the world's best mom wrote:

robynm wrote:

the world's best mom wrote:

robynm, I think it probably was smart. Very Happy

but were u surprised by the ending? thats the question?

Yes. It was a very cute ending.

it really has a different ending

What do you mean? You changed the ending?

robynm

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 10:54 pm

the world's best mom wrote:

robynm wrote:

the world's best mom wrote:

robynm wrote:

the world's best mom wrote:

robynm, I think it probably was smart. Very Happy

but were u surprised by the ending? thats the question?

Yes. It was a very cute ending.

it really has a different ending

What do you mean? You changed the ending?

yeah.... read it again...

I did something that im not sure I should have... and I needed to write about it but I didnt want ppl to know what so I just changed the ending

Smile1

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 10:57 pm

That sounds like something I would do!

the world's best mom

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 10:58 pm

robynm wrote:

the world's best mom wrote:

robynm wrote:

the world's best mom wrote:

robynm wrote:

the world's best mom wrote:

robynm, I think it probably was smart. Very Happy

but were u surprised by the ending? thats the question?

Yes. It was a very cute ending.

it really has a different ending

What do you mean? You changed the ending?

yeah.... read it again...

I did something that im not sure I should have... and I needed to write about it but I didnt want ppl to know what so I just changed the ending

It was clever of you to change the ending, but not clever to tell us about it. Now you'll have us wondering what you did wrong.

robynm

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 11:00 pm

the world's best mom wrote:

robynm wrote:

the world's best mom wrote:

robynm wrote:

the world's best mom wrote:

robynm wrote:

the world's best mom wrote:

robynm, I think it probably was smart. Very Happy

but were u surprised by the ending? thats the question?

Yes. It was a very cute ending.

it really has a different ending

What do you mean? You changed the ending?

yeah.... read it again...

I did something that im not sure I should have... and I needed to write about it but I didnt want ppl to know what so I just changed the ending

It was clever of you to change the ending, but not clever to tell us about it. Now you'll have us wondering what you did wrong.

maybe that was my point Wink

I did start this whole writing group to get ppl to think and use their brains more than just sharing recipes

the world's best mom

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 11:07 pm

I thought you originally didn't want people to critique what they read. Maybe I'm remembering wrong.

robynm

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 11:09 pm

nah I dont car

I just wanted ppl to contribute

the world's best mom

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 11:13 pm

Well then, you got what you wanted.

robynm

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 11:14 pm

yes maam 8)

PinkFridge

Fri, Jan 28 2011, 9:08 am

robynm wrote:

I did start this whole writing group to get ppl to think and use their brains more than just sharing recipes

If you would do some sort of a Venn diagram of people who've contributed here and people from the recipe forum I wonder just how much overlap there would be...

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