"I love you" to friends?

Merrymom

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 12:52 am

I have a young teenager that signs off her phone calls with her best friend saying "I love you". This seems very weird to me and somehow improper. I haven't said anything yet because I'm not sure if I'm overeacting and should just be happy that she expresses herself well emotionally. Any thoughts on this?

Happy 2B

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 12:59 am

How young?

I don't think it's weird, maybe a little unusual... My best friend and I have said I love you to each other for as long as I can remember and there has never been any other inappropriate behavior or action. It depends on the nature of the children involved.

It can mean something inappropriate is going on.. but it's more likely not anything... Just my humble opinion from my own experience.

cityofgold

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 3:26 am

I know lots of girls that say "I love you" to friends.
I actually remember some girls arguing in seminary, because they said that if you've only known your new friends for a month, you can't say "I love you" to them. The other side argued that it's just something you say to your good friends.
So it must just depend on your friends and what's the norm where you are.

Dev80

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 3:39 am

It's SOOO normal among teenage girl friends. Especially best friends. Presumably they share everything together, and can often be closer than siblings. Love can be familial love--just by being in the same family we love each other, but love in friendship is also very real. Don't worry about it and don't even look for signs (unless you have reasons to be worried). It's really normal and it's a way of girls showing that they consider the other a very close and dear friend.

hadasa

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 8:41 am

As a girl it was never my style, but I had friends who used pretty expressive language about their feelings for each other. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.

Ruchel

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 9:39 am

As I got more acquainted with the non MO frum world, I saw this again and again, by girls and even by boys, and was told repeatedly it is normal and generally stops in the early 20's or marriage, but not even always. It's all cultural Wink

Sweet Valley Gal

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 9:46 am

I have one friend who says I love you to me. I dont like when she does it seems weird to me. It makes me uncomfortable. It could be thats just my personality.

To me, its even weirder when she tells me now that im married that she loves me (she's still single). Come to think of it, she never says it verbally, but when we are texting and I sign off for the night, she will write good night I love you...

But, I dont worry that she is up to something. She happens to be a very open person...

MiamiMommy

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 9:47 am

imamama wrote:

I say "I love you" to my close friends. I'm not a lesbian.

So do I! I also sign off on my texts with XOXO and other sentiments like that!

michal817

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 9:47 am

I always said "I love you" to my best friend - still do, as a matter of fact. I don't think it's anything to worry about. Like sequoia said, love doesn't necessarily imply a romantic relationship.

Ruchel

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 10:03 am

If you would say it to a sister then I guess a friend is fine.
In my world I love you is only for "love". No I love you for sister, parent, child... though I say it to DD and people find it weird.
My parents say it's a given but weird to state.

artikidove

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 11:44 am

my friends and I always end conversations with "love and miss ya!" we have been doing this since we were 12 maybe? I don't have any sisters and my best friends fill that role. it is completely normal.

amother

Jetblack

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 11:59 am

Sweet Valley Gal wrote:

I was just gonna write exactly this. I have a friend who always says "I love you" and it made me feel uncomfortable, and now I'm married and she's still single and it feel even weirder to me. But she still says it, and I never say it back. I think she says to all of her good friends though.

Last edited by amother on Sun, Aug 23 2020, 9:08 pm; edited 1 time in total

freshie

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 12:10 pm

Ruchel wrote:

so what do people in your culture say to their kids?

amother

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 12:12 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Interesting. My French dh definitely says je t'aime to his parents and sisters, and they have a very healthy relationship. Maybe its because they are a very warm family, but they express love to all family members, not just spouse.

amother

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 12:14 pm

amother wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

Oh and he says it a million times a day to our dc!