"I love you" to friends?

MrsMortgage

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 2:19 pm

Ruchel wrote:

If you would say it to a sister then I guess a friend is fine.
In my world I love you is only for "love". No I love you for sister, parent, child... though I say it to DD and people find it weird.
My parents say it's a given but weird to state.

I find this strange... I know a French family and they all say I love you... Your parents never told you they love you?

Ruchel

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 2:21 pm

MrsMortgage wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

I find this strange... I know a French family and they all say I love you... Your parents never told you they love you?

No. At most a few times "you know I love you", like before I got married.

Indeed Je t'aime feels very love and not like. People look weirdly when I say it to my DD, and I also feel it's a bit "too much" but I'm that way with her.

cookielady

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 3:20 pm

My teen dd has a very close friend who is more like a sister. They live in different states. They talk on the phone often and end their conversations with I love you. Totally normal. I'm happy they are comfortable expressing feelings. Nowadays so many people are afraid to.

(interestingly enough my dd has spent so much time with her friends family, with whom we are also close, she has mannerisms of her friends mother, even looks like her friend and her friends mother!)

amother

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 4:54 pm

sequoia wrote:

Yeah, in Russian people never say it either except to boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse. Sometimes parents to their kids, not that often.

In English it's different, therefore normal.

Omg you're right I can't believe I never noticed that!! My mil never tells her husband or son (DH) she loves them, and only says in to my kids in English! She does lay compliments on thick instead of saying I love you to DH so he doesn't feel deprived

sequoia

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 5:03 pm

amother wrote:

sequoia wrote:

Yeah, in Russian people never say it either except to boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse. Sometimes parents to their kids, not that often.

In English it's different, therefore normal.

You know what's weird? In Russian "WE love you" (as opposed to I love you) is acceptable from anyone to anyone. I have often taken refuge in the royal We when I want to convey my feelings to someone.

Ruchel

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 5:09 pm

amother wrote:

sequoia wrote:

Yeah, in Russian people never say it either except to boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse. Sometimes parents to their kids, not that often.

In English it's different, therefore normal.

Same in French. Compliments, pet names, my heart, whatever.
I can't think of one family who regularly uses je t'aime outside of love or maybe a baby. Not even my parents, which tells a ton!

That's why I was uneasy with such strong and intimate words between same gender when I discovered this circle. Interestingly they wouldn't dream of telling it to parents or siblings (no way LOL)...

Last edited by Ruchel on Thu, Jan 13 2011, 5:16 pm; edited 1 time in total

Merrymom

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 5:14 pm

I'm not concerned with something going on, that's not the issue. I just wonder if I should have a talk with her. Somehow to me it cheapens the word when we can throw it around like that. I have several best friends but the way I feel about them is nothing compared to my dh and children for example. I just take that word very seriously and I want her to take it seriously as well. Maybe she just doesn't have a real understanding of what love is yet.

shanie5

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 6:38 pm

Merrymom wrote:

My girls do it too-and they are 19 and 22. To me its their way of saying goodbye. It does cheapen it in my eyes, but that is kids today.

Peanut2

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 8:10 pm

Yeah, it's really common.
I have close friends who say that, too. I used to until a couple of years ago.
My sister is 22 and she and her friends sign off every conversation with "love you."

So it's completely normal.

amother

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 9:10 pm

Ruchel wrote:

My French dh doesn't know one family that DOESN'T use je t'aime regularly among family. I suspect this is not a French thing, but rather your specific circle. He ends phone conversations with friends with "bisous." There is definitely a lot of affectionate language between family members and friends in French.

hannah95

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 11:48 pm

I'm french and I have said ''I love you'' to my best friends. And I also tell it a lot to my mom and my dc (and DH of course) and they say it back. Love is not only being in love. Love is a good feeling to have, it's nothing to do with the love you share for your DH, so I see nothing wrong when I say I love you to my mom or friend.

And for OP, all the teen girls say it to each other. I love you or I adoooooooore you. Don't worry about it.

pearswood12

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 11:50 pm

Merrymom wrote:

Really nothing to worry about at all. I wouldn't say anything to her. She'd probably laugh and say you are living in the stone age. My 20 year old does it all the time and you should see some of the phrases on facebook, e.g. I luv yer babes (everybody gets a babes after their name) , I miss you soooooooo much cause I love you soooooooooooooomuch, you are booooooooooooootiful and so on and so on ......

You REALLY don't have to worry

orzo13

Fri, Jan 14 2011, 1:09 am

its words of endearment - a sisterly sentiment - perfectly normal and acceptable. it is a confirmation of feelings that certainly does not have to be grossly misconstrued as being a romantic statement.

imamama

Fri, Jan 14 2011, 6:00 am

Saying "I love you," to your friends CHEAPENS the words??????

How can telling someone you love that you love them be anything but good? I don't love my friends the same way that I love my children, or my spouse, or my siblings or parents. But I don't love my spouse the same way I love my children, or my parents, etc. etc. Why do you feel that love only applies to one sort of relationship?

When you say you are worried that it "cheapens" the words, or the idea of love (I'm not sure exactly which you mean) what are you afraid the repercussions will be?

Ruchel

Fri, Jan 14 2011, 6:39 am

amother wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

Huh except I've BH been to extremely various circles. non jews, non frum, modern, charedi, rich, poor, Paris, province. Sorry!
Bisous is kiss, what's the link?
And I mentioned a lot of affectionate language too.
Je t'aime to parents and kids sounds off in French. Of course over 60 millions you'll find people who use it, but basically it's like sequoia said about Russian. I seriously cannot think of people except me who say it, and people around find it off, not the right word. Period.