No school AGAIN!!!

whirlwind

Mon, Jan 17 2011, 8:40 am

I am so frustrated and just wondering how other families manage this. My son has no school today AGAIN! This makes about the 7th day in the last two months that he's off on a weekday. Granted, there were 4 snow days in that number, but he has off again next Friday and the following Monday for midwinter vacation. I work full time and my husband's in kollel. What are we supposed to do with all these days off??? Yes, I have sick days and can take the occasional day off, but Dec/Jan is a very busy time in my office and there's a limit to how many times I can miss work because my kid is off without getting my boss really annoyed!!! And yes, my husband can take off if he really has to, but why should he miss a day of learning because the school sees fit to give off so often! My son's not even old enough to want a day off - last night when I told him my sister was coming to watch him today he said, "but I want to go to Yeshiva, I love Yeshiva!" I understand that there are times when they will have vacation - before yomim tovim, certain legal holidays, and midwinter, and I have a hard enough time coming up with arrangements for these days (my husband's off around yomim tovim and chol hamoed and the legal holidays I can usually find a grandparent who has off to help out.) But why do they need all these extra days??? What do other parents do in these situations when both parents work full time??? Just wondering, maybe you have some suggestions...

Ruchel

Mon, Jan 17 2011, 9:17 am

It's hard.
My DD also seems to be always off! and she misses the cheder too and goes so bored without any playmate.
I try to send her to my parents for a change in location once or twice a week.
If there isn't a parent home, the kollel one or one of the working ones will take days too, in DD's school.
It's expensive for all houses with two working parents!! Halevai that the off days would be deducted from the monthly fee here!

whirlwind

Mon, Jan 17 2011, 12:28 pm

Yes I know it's a legal holiday, but, honestly, do they need to have off every legal holiday? BH we have our own beautiful yomim tovim that they have a lot of vacation for. And today's not a major holiday like some of the others - I don't even have off today. Paying a stay-at-home mother of a friend of his is a good idea, but like someone mentioned, we pay an arm and a leg for tuition and to pay for all these days on top of that is TOUGH! I have 2 kids in full time child care plus his tuition, any extra is really difficult... Any other ideas? I know there are many others with two parents working full time - what do you all do?

RachelEve14

Mon, Jan 17 2011, 12:37 pm

whirlwind wrote:

I think that's just the way it goes when you live in chu'l. Come to EY and you kids will have school today, Jan. 1st, and many other days (yes, they will have a long break before Pesach, can't win them all!). In chu'l you need to celebrate their days and our days. Here "their" days ARE our days, so they line up better.

SingALong

Mon, Jan 17 2011, 7:23 pm

Lately in my area many people were writing to local newsletters complaining about the numerous days off and how schools aren't taking chinuch seriously by giving off so much. Also to cancel mid-winter cuz of so many snow days already missed this year. Many working parents endue losing parnassa every time they need to take off, but we still need to pay the same tuition!!! I wish we would pay per day, then schools would think twice before giving off so much!!

amother

Mon, Jan 17 2011, 8:06 pm

whirlwind wrote:

When we were both working in jobs that were not very flexible, AND we don't live near family so there are no grandparents nearby to take a shift here and there, I tried to find a babysitter, and if I couldn't, we took turns taking off. Now that I have a job with more flexibility, I take off.

This is part of being parents.., why would you expect otherwise?

saw50st8

Mon, Jan 17 2011, 8:43 pm

sky wrote:

saw50st8 wrote:

Have your husband stay home from Kollel. Its free and your kids will get to bond with your husband.

But kollel isn't something you can just take off of. It has to be treated like a job. otherwise it becomes a laughing stock.

She said she is worried about the money. Sometimes, being a responsible person means choosing the lesser of two evils. So her husband can learn for the day and she'll pay for care OR her husband can take off and learn during naps etc.

As a full time working parent with limited vacation days married to another full time working parent with limited vacation days and no family available to help for days off, I fully understand the dilemma. But they have a choice to make.

emama

Mon, Jan 17 2011, 8:50 pm

I agree with saw50st8 '

Quote:

This isn't a "minor" legal holiday. Celebrating the life and work of MLK is important. Freedom isn't cheap or easy

but, my kids always have school on this day (and I have to teach). I don't understand the concept of having a day off, when being in school is the place to learn and celebrate the work of MLK. Being home and playing, etc., doesn't celebrate very much.
Perhaps some schools are too linked to the public school calendar in their communities, or must rely on their busing. I have had students coming from districts that did not provide busing on MLK day, and parents would drive them to school.

718

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 1:32 am

I completely understand your frustration. Its extremely difficult to be busy with no school/cheder days when both parents are working.
I really dont understand it. there is no need for kids to be out of school. They dont even appreciate it.

My nursery boy was off one week due to blizzard. The next week on Wednesday he had half a day becuase it was nitul.
Trust me, my son went crazier than me after not having school for so long.
Ridiculous.

whirlwind

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 9:18 am

saw50st8 wrote:

sky wrote:

saw50st8 wrote:

Have your husband stay home from Kollel. Its free and your kids will get to bond with your husband.

But kollel isn't something you can just take off of. It has to be treated like a job. otherwise it becomes a laughing stock.

Thank you sky, we consider very seriously when dh takes off from kollel. Just because he doesn't get docked pay there are other considerations. There is a reason he is learning. And btw this lifestyle allows for many opportunities for dh to bond with the kids. Please don't turn this into a discussion on kollel and whether he should take off or not, I'm just pointing out that it's not as simple as you make it sound. It's not "free".
And yes, of course I have choices - I can take a sick day, dh can take off, I can pay someone to watch ds (although he's old enough to resent going to a sitter), or I can try to find family to help out. Of course there are choices and I need to consider the options and then decide what to do. I was just expressing my frustration that this is such a frequent occurence.
With all due respect, yes MLK accomplished much for our country and I'm not detracting from the significance of the day and what it signifies, but I would rather my son have an extra day off for Pesach or Sukkos so he will recognize that these days are the more important ones. Now let's move this forum to the controversial section so everyone can bash what I just said...

sky

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 7:14 pm

emama wrote:

I agree with saw50st8 '

Quote:

This isn't a "minor" legal holiday. Celebrating the life and work of MLK is important. Freedom isn't cheap or easy

dh and I were just discussing this. I thought that if kids had school on MLK day and they had speakers and watched movies about his life and the civil rights movement they would get so much more out of it. I'm assuming (maybe incorrectly) that many children do nothing for MLK day except hang around at home or with their parents at work. Most parents in private companies are working so they aren't really doing stuff with their kids to acknowledge the day. I'm not sure I understand how having a day off is celebrating his life.

saw50st8

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 8:58 pm

sky wrote:

emama wrote:

I agree with saw50st8 '

Quote:

This isn't a "minor" legal holiday. Celebrating the life and work of MLK is important. Freedom isn't cheap or easy

I don't disagree, but with the exception of Labor Day, why do we get off for other holidays? OK maybe Thanksgiving for the big family meal...but 4th of July? Presidents Day? Memorial Day? Veterans Day? Same thing...

To the OP: this isn't really a Kollel issue. Working parents do this all the time - you need to prioritize. So the parent with the easiest ability usually takes off. If that's not possible, someone has to be paid. Sometimes, that means losing money on a day of work because you need to be there.

These days off are planned at the start of the year (except snow days which the school cannot help). Start planning for next year already - you know what days the school gives off. This isn't a surprise.

And I would not rather days off right by yom tovim - lets say they give off 3 days before Pesach. Can a working parent take off 3 MORE days right around Pesach? Most, no. If they even can, do they want their kids underfoot while they do last minute prep? It makes it a lot easier to have them in school until as close as possible.