7 year old fly to Israel alone??

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Ima2NYM_LTR

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 10:48 am

Every year, as a birthday present my dad and step-mom offer to pay for a couple weeks of camp for him.

This year, the camp will be 'restructuring' and wont open. I told my step- mom and jokingly added "maybe he can come visit you (in Israel)"

She thought I was serious!!!

The last time DS flew, he was 14 months old, and this summer he will be 7. He obviously doesnt remember a plane, has never been away from home for more than the school/camp day. He would have no supervision besides the flight staff and I could see him freaking out about being left alone in a strange place. I am very uncomfortable with the thought

I used to fly alone as a child to my grandparents, but it didnt start until I was 9 or 10, was only a 45 minute flight, and I had made the trip at least a dozen times before.

before I quash step-moms plans, I just wanted to check with other moms: Is it absolutely incredible, undeniably insane to send a 7 year old alone on a plane for 11 hours to fly overseas to a foreign country where he will be away from his family (albeit with his grandparents) for 2 weeks?

de_goldy

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 10:50 am

Yes! Sounds crazy to me. Poor kid would be miserable and frightened. Trust your instincts on this one.

emama

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 10:55 am

My only thoughts would be if you know of someone who is going that would take responsibility for your son- both ways. We once did that for a friend's son and he was much older. Otherwise, no way.

SingALong

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 11:04 am

can you find a friend or relative flying then that he can fly with them and then the grandparents pick him up from the airport? I think the flight and navigating the airport is the scariest part really, even if you have a stewardess accompanying him.

I don't think being by his grandparents alone will be that hard, my DD is 6 1/2 I would totally send her to her grandparents but only if I had someone that could fly with her. then again she has been there quite often, knows the house, knows the realtives etc. so its a little different

Isramom8

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 11:04 am

At least on one airline in my experience, kids under 15 go through the airport with an air host(ess) and are looked after from time to time on the plane. But what's not smart is sending him with no plan. What will he do there? Will he be going to camp in Israel? Summer days in EY are loooong. How will he not be bored? All the kids are bored here in the summer if they have no plans.

Personally I allowed my kids to travel alone only from age fourteen (and I used to say they had to be eighteen). Younger than that was with a parent or with a group.

Simple1

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 11:12 am

I am reminded of the debate here about whether leaving 7 year olds in cars for a few minutes is negligent or OK. I was undecided on the issue, but sending them all the way to Israel alone sounds much scarier and riskier. But then again, I don't fly, so I'm not familiar with the process.

Ima2NYM_LTR

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 11:15 am

Isramom- while he would be there, he would spend the time with the grandparents, cousins aunts and uncles. That wouldnt be an issue.

My concern again is 11 hours on the plan on what would be his first flight in memory, without a trusted adult - not only for security but also for emotional comfort.
Maybe they will invite us all out? If only we could....

nylon

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 11:22 am

I don't know about Israel, but most European airlines require that a child of that age use the unaccompanied minor service. I think Israel would be a very long flight to do alone. Most of the kids I know who fly by themselves do so because of custody issues, and fly domestic only.

Undefined

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 11:23 am

Are you kidding?! No, don't send a 7 yr. Old alone. It's a hard enough flight for kids even when they are with others. I can't even imagine any 7 yr old wanting to do this. Find someone to go with or skip it. Imagine how scary this could be for him.

Ima2NYM_LTR

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 11:25 am

Undefined wrote:

I agree....as I said originally, I think it is insane. Just looking for confirmation

Chocoholic

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 11:28 am

I have seen kids that age fly alone very regularly. They are being looked after by a steward(ess) all the time.. From check in until they get picked up. They get a special ID on their neck.. they are looked after pretty well..

Isramom8

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 11:41 am

Ima2NYM_LTR wrote:

That is a common myth. They will all be busy with their lives and he will be bored most of the time. He should have a structured schedule for his visit. I've seen the results of a friend's granddaughter visiting. My friend ended up visiting me and taking my kids on trips just to keep her gd entertained. Israel isn't magic. A 7 year old needs camp or something.

Tamiri

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 11:47 am

Isramom8 wrote:

Ima2NYM_LTR wrote:

No I would not send him alone and yes I totally agree with Isramom. No structure is a recipe for disaster. But since he's not flying on his own anyway, it's a moot point.

Ima2NYM_LTR

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 11:53 am

Isramom8 wrote:

Ima2NYM_LTR wrote:

I dont think you understand. He wouldnt just go and do nothing. Both my father and step-mother are teachers, so their summer schedule is free. At least 1/2 the time (if he were to go), they would take him to the kotel, to the zoo, to the beach, to Masada etc. DHs aunt lives on a kibbutz, and she would probably have him overnight. DHs grandfather would want to see him -thats one more day. Both of my step sisters and their family are there, thats 1 or 2 days. BIL is there, thats another day. Each one would take a day to be with him.
Obviously IF he were to go, we would make sure he was well scheduled. That wasnt the question at hand. I was discussing the impact of sending him on the plane- the emotional impact and his maturity/ability to behave while in flight

Basimcha

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 12:00 pm

I think a 7 year old is way to young to travel alone to Israel.

Tamiri

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 12:02 pm

Let's say you drive him all the way to Kennedy or EWR so he doesn't have to be flying from where you live.
In what condition is he going to arrive at the airport after traveling from home?
Then, he has to wait in line for all those silly security checks they have. Who will be with him.
Then, it may be a couple of hours from when he gets through security till they board the plane. Will he have what to do.
On the plane, once settled: what happens if he spills his little airline juice on himself and/or dumps some UEO (eadible) on himself from his little airline tray. How will he handle that?
What if he vomits?
What if he can't sleep? What if he CAN sleep but has a bad dream? What is his ears bother him from takeoff?
There are so many variables. A 7 yo really can't handle such a long flight, in my opinion. I sent my #1 son at age 12 on his own, a particularly independent and capable child (okay, it was through Phoenix to Cincinnati (or was it Columbus) to Chicago (met by a friend for a few hour layover) to London (over night layover - he had to find a cab to a friend's house) to Tel Aviv - that's how capable he was) and I thought it was a bit precocious even for him. At 7 I would not have sent him. At 10 he flew to Pittsburgh from Phoenix on his own, non stop.

Isramom8

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 12:03 pm

Okay. Just saying that all those "days" don't add up to much, considering the heat, and people's dream intentions that don't always happen, and the fact that the visits will more likely be for a few hours, not a whole day each. I just don't see the flight as the issue here. It's the total experience.

simhat_nisuyyin

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 12:04 pm

Didn't get a chance to look at posts above, but just wanted to say that I flew for the first time (from Israel to America via Europe) when I was 7. My parents explained everything carefully to me about how the process of going through the airport (past the point where my father had to part ways with me) and into the plane would go. I had grown up away from big cities and in a rather isolated area of Israel, so I didn't know what a plane looked like from up close. I thought the little bus taking me to the plane was the plane itself! I found a little corner of the floor and sat in it-- got a big shock when we approached the actual, humongous plane. The flight attendants only spoke Swedish and English (neither of which I spoke), so it was kind of fun and adventuresome, but as soon as I was shown my seat, I attached myself to the middle-aged, Hebrew-speaking Swedish man sitting next to me and he was very sweet and explained everything. To be honest, I had a blast. Somewhere in my trunk of childhood things I still have the "pilot's wing's" and little stuffed bunny they gave me.

moonstone

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 12:15 pm

Ima2NYM_LTR wrote:

....as I said originally, I think it is insane. Just looking for confirmation

Well, I'm happy to give it to you. Very Happy

Yes, it's absolutely insane, for all the reasons Tamiri mentioned and then some. He's just way too young.

Ima2NYM_LTR

Tue, Jan 18 2011, 12:30 pm

Isramom8 wrote:

I just don't see the flight as the issue here. It's the total experience.

Ok. But one step at a time. Im not going to worry about WHAT he will do there until we establish IF he is going there. They are totally separate issues, and I am dealing with the first one first. In the absence of him actually getting on the plane, there is no need to make plans for him once he is there.

And as an aside, my dad and step mom very often take him for a day and fill up the time, as they do with their Israeli grandchild. They know how to keep a child entertained and what the responsibility would be should we chose to send him (which we wont). hypothetically, since you are so worried. Lets say he left on a Sunday:

Figure in every day some time for resting/ reading/watching tv, esp when it is hot
Sunday: travel
Monday: jet lag, play around the house, see the cousin, go to local parks, stores, etc
Tuesday:go to the old city/kotel
Wed: Drive the few hrs to the aunts kibbutz. Swim in the ocean, see the little zoo, stay overnight
Thurs: drive back to grandparents. Spend day with them around town (which he loves to do)
Fri: get ready for shabbos, play locally w/ cousin
Shabbos- shul, etc
Sunday: go to the zoo in the AM, visit elderly great-grandfather in the PM
Monday: spend day with aunt and uncle (my BIL) - yes, can fill up a day
Tuesday: go to Masada and/ or dead sea
Wednesday: go into Jerusalem/ newer parts
Thursday: beach in AM then start packing.
Fri: get ready for shabbos, play locally w/ cousin
Shabbos:- shul, etc
Sunday: leave

is this a logical plan? I dunno, but I made it in 5 minutes sitting at my computer in America with no research. I'm sure if he were to go (which he wont) that we could come up with a viable plan in not a lot of time.

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