Emotional Eating-Support Group

Blue jay

Fri, Feb 04 2011, 10:38 am

Rosehill.

You need to write a book called "Rosehills guide to living well and having your cake too!" Very Happy

What a great idea, the next time I have an "I hate the way I look complex" instead of attacking myself with food restrictions and insults, I should get moving. I do love dancing! Even doing zumba. This time around I went shopping for better fitted clothes, for my size 12's were too snug. Geneen roth says we should feel beautiful and comfortable in clothes that are our actual size.

I piled all the size 10's, 12's and am going to pack them up for another day or better yet give them to charity.

I also found an awesome red sweater that I look fierce in! And its an extra large! Also going to the Lane Bryant website also give you a boost of self esteem because you can look GOOD at any size!

have a great shabbos ladies!

3mitzvos

Tue, Feb 08 2011, 8:24 am

So, today is the second day that I can honestly say that I was in control of everything I put in my mouth. It feels great!!! I'm not doing any set diet, just trying to eat healthy and mindfully. This is the first time in a long time that I feel like I'm really changing my relationship with food. I was seriously thinking of joining OA b/c I just kept trying diets and failing. But, I don't want to have to cut out white flour and sugar for the rest of my life, I want to have a healthy relationship with food. And, B"H, I feel like it might actually be happening this time!!! Thanks to everyone for being an inspiration Sunny

Blue jay

Tue, Feb 08 2011, 5:44 pm

3mitzvahs, welcome aboard!

I love your saying beneath your post about the rainclouds, that totally descibes what is going on here in this thread. Enjoying life with all its ups and downs. Eating is such a part of life that if we try to control it just becomes self sabatoge. Sometimes we have to weather the storms and a little chocolate helps! But we dont have to give up the ship just keep sailing on! As you can see I really like your small piece of poetry Very Happy

Keep us posted!

As for myself, Im going 2 weeks strong into this no diet program. Alot of emotions have been surfacing since I cant hide behind food anymore. I think things through even when I eat chocolate. I felt bad today for being impatient with my 2 year old and had chocolate. I knew what was going on "im eating chocolate now because I feel bad," at that point I offered him a small piece and then I ate a couple rounds of chocolate, but I didn't eat the whole bag.
'
I felt better after eating the chocolate, I thought things through as I snuggled with him on the couch, and realized that Im a perfectionist, and I need more sleep. and I need to stay clear of having agendas when it comes to toddlers. As the day continued on, I let go of alot of "plans" I had for the day and just took one thing at a time.

Heres to chocolate. Cheers

tweek

Wed, Feb 09 2011, 6:32 am

I don't want to sound too dramatic, but I remember the first time I actually gave myself permission to eat a piece of chocolate. I sat down took a small piece, closed my eyes and let it slowly melt and slide down my throat. And then, I cried! I could not believe what a wonderful experience it could be, and without guilt as a side dish it tastes even more delicious.
Now I can have a stock of all different types of chocolate in my house (I am very particular about which type I am in the mood of at different times!) and not be afraid of eating it all in one day. Now that's what I call "Breaking Free"!

Blue jay

Wed, Feb 09 2011, 9:00 am

I just consummed lots of food, some junk and some nutritious, I just came back from food shopping and my kitchen is a mess and the fridge needs to be cleared out and boy oh boy was I hungry and poofed from hauling groceries up and down a flight of steps... So I just broke out the triscuits, babaganoush and tuna sandwhich, topping it off with 2 pieces of chocolate.

I wish I could have waited and prepared a more sensible lunch but I was hungry and I did't feel like cleaning the kitchen out first. I dont really feel guilty.... its just sometimes I wish a genie would pop out and say "Poof! Here is your fabulous lunch, 4 cheese lasagna with casear salad" but instead I have triscuits. I guess what im saying is that perfection does not exist in my kitchen, and I would like to have a personal chef.

3mitzvos

Wed, Feb 09 2011, 9:48 am

thanks rosehill!! Smile

So, the past few days have been really good eating-wise -- no binging, made good food choices, allowed myself a treat when I needed one... and guess what! I've lost over 2 lbs already! I now weigh less than I did after I gave birth... finally! (I actually gained weight after my pregnancy instead of losing Sad

) Now I just need to keep it up... still have a long way to go!

rosehill

Wed, Feb 09 2011, 12:45 pm

Hey Ladies.....
Good news.....

Yael let me know via pm that she finds this interesting, and is amenable to starting a private forum.

HAPPY DANCE.....

She said she could not do it right now, but that I should be in touch with her a gain in two weeks.

Glad to hear we're all doing well, if not perfectly. That just makes us human, right!?!

QueenBee, on the days I know I will be home for lunch, I generally make sure to prepare lunch before I go out for the morning. Sometimes, I'll even put up a minestrone soup in the crockpot the night before. I know that when I get home, I'm going to be in the mood for something hot and yummy and filling, and I'm going to eat twice as much unsatisfying food if I don't have it. So I do try to be prepared.

Blue jay

Thu, Feb 10 2011, 12:46 pm

QueenBee, on the days I know I will be home for lunch, I generally make sure to prepare lunch before I go out for the morning. Sometimes, I'll even put up a minestrone soup in the crockpot the night before. I know that when I get home, I'm going to be in the mood for something hot and yummy and filling, and I'm going to eat twice as much unsatisfying food if I don't have it. So I do try to be prepared.[/quote]

Its interesing that you mentioned being prepared for those ravenous moments that catch you off guard. The same thing again happened to me today. At 9;30 in the morning my kids were having a snack and I thought to myself "maybe I should have a little something too because we will be going out and I dont want to be too hungry..." But then I said "But Im not hungry ! I dont want to eat!" So I decided not to eat anything.

At 11:30 we came back from our errand and I was starving! I COULD EAT ANYTHING! Forget about cravings or what I truly desired, I wanted food and I wanted it now. An apple would take too long to chew and wash, A salad too long to chop, so I had triscuits again but managed to have patience to heat up a Tabatichnik soup. So altogether I should have prepared a "ready to go" lunch for my anticipated arrival home, but did not because I was plumb tired from caring for every one else and what they are eating.

Sometimes being prepared is possible and sometimes being caught off guard happens so try to weather the hunger storm and dont eat the entire fridge!

Bon appetite!

cassandra

Thu, Feb 10 2011, 1:05 pm

rosehill wrote:

Sounds nice-- I am a non-dieting veteran for the last 8 years, though it hasn't served me perfectly (I fall into the dieting trap too easily). I decided long ago that I'd rather be happy and have a healthy relationship with food and fat than skinny and tense and still have an unhealthy relationship with food, and I really do well when I act in accordance with my beliefs. But sometimes I forget. Ok, I forget a lot.

I've read every book out there (you should see my library) I am an alumna of Carol Munter's OO groups, so if there is a forum I definitely have what to contribute. Hope it works out.

Blue jay

Fri, Feb 11 2011, 4:58 am

Welcome Cassandra! hope to see you in the forum!

I just want to put this out there since Ive become a test rat for the non diet approach. Its not always so wonderful and peachy! I still have moments like all other human biengs when Im feeling down and the food becomes comfort. Only this time around I really do pull up a chair and eat slowly. Expect the ups and downs of your cravings, its not always going to be asparagus! Thats the beauty of this non diet lifestyle, you know that youll get through the "binge" or "Need for comfort" and will carry on just fine. I think it might take years for my weight to go wear it should be.

So now im knitting a scarf and by the time its finished, I believe my relationship with food will be healthy one stitch at a time!

Bring on the emotions and cake(or carrots)! Thats the beauty of life!

BTW- Ive lost 2 pounds and some serious bloat, since Ive stopped hating food!

Good shabbos!

rosehill

Fri, Feb 11 2011, 5:28 am

You're so right QueenBee3.

As with most things in life, it's not a direct path forwards. It's a few steps forward, a few steps back. Hopefully more forward than back!! Then for good luck, a few steps sideways!!!

You made me laugh with your carrot comment. One of my first "aha" moments with this approach was carrot-related!

All good dieters know you have to have carrot sticks in the house, right? So every week or two, I would buy a bag of carrots, let them rot in the fridge, then throw them out. Anyone relate??

Then, on one of my first trips to the supermarket after reading Geneen's book, I found myself heading for the carrots sticks. AHA, I said to myself. I don't need to buy these. I don't need some un-yummy, un-fun *food* to take the place of real nourishment.

If I'm hungry, I'll make myself a sandwich.

And if I'm not hungry, there is no difference between munching on carrots or munching on pretzels. The craving is just a sign that I need the work!!!!

So now, I buy those really big carrots with a top and a bottom and a skin, when I need them for a recipe or for a salad or something, and I leave the rabbit food for, well, the rabbits!!

tweek

Fri, Feb 11 2011, 7:02 am

So I've been kind of quiet lately since I've been having a tough past two days. (Isn't it funny how when we are doing "well" we feel like we have all the answers?)
Anyway, I figured maybe I can tap into this resource for some help. When you are in the midst of a binge, you know the kind where nothing can come between you and your food, and you know in your heart and mind that it won't help make your problems go away and you will just feel worse when it's over, but for some reason you just can't stop, well how DO you stop?
What do you do and/or tell yourself at the moment to interrupt the cycle?

shnitzel

Fri, Feb 11 2011, 7:22 am

tweek,
I think the non-dieting answer is not to try to stop the binge. You have to learn to enjoy it. Slow down savour each bite and give yourself permission to eat. Don't engage in self hate and loathing just eat the food mindfully listening to the crunch paying attention to the temperature of the food, feeling the flavours on your tongue.

tweek

Fri, Feb 11 2011, 7:52 am

I understand what you are saying but a binge by definition means that you are eating mindlessly and for some reason you can't stop yourself from stuffing your mouth with things you don't really want right now and are not really enjoying. If you are savoring every bite and enjoying it you are not really binging, and of course you won't eat that much.
What I am really trying to get to the root of is why do we keep doing something that we know doesn't help the situation and if anything makes things worse?

Blue jay

Sat, Feb 12 2011, 5:52 pm

Tweek,

Binge on! Im not trying to be funny Im serious! Binging is an opportunity to care for yourself, your searching for comfort via food. Go with it and dont try to stop it. But do sit down, eat opently dont hide. Pick up your Breaking free book and read the chapter on Binging, Try to take some power naps in between.

But above all, dont feel bad! It will pass. I know personally because I had a 3 day binge about a week ago and let me tell you it makes a difference if you feel like you are in the pilots seat. Lay out the food in front of you and acknowledge it and eat it. Try to take some breaks and ask yourself "What do I really want right now what hurts?"

Youre not alone! we are in this together!
so pass me a cookie,,,,,
and a kleenex!

Blue jay

Sat, Feb 12 2011, 6:03 pm

also another thought:

We all sing the blues! I think sometimes we binge because we feel ashamed of our weakness and sensitivity. Im sorry tweek that you are having a bad time, just cope in your own human way. Cry it out, write bad poetry to your cats, throw in the towel and be depressed. Dont surpress, express! Even while your binging Talk to your food!( this is Geneen roths idea!)

"Kit kat how are you helping me right now and whats your magic secret?"

"OH your soothing and sweet, Ill eat you now but maybe Ill curl up in bed with a good book or take a bubble bath next..."

REMEMBER BINGING IS ALLOWED IN THIS FORUM Hooray