Where was the "mekor bracha"?

amother

Thu, Jan 20 2011, 7:53 pm

Since high school, I have been meticulous never to read anything school-related on Shabbos, even if I had a huge test on Monday. I continued this policy through college. Now I am in graduate school. It's much harder than college- where I was able to pull of straight A's with minimal effort- and among other things, there was no more cramming right before the test or writing the whole paper the night before. I adjusted to the new way of doing things, which included beginning to prepare for finals 2-3 weeks before the tests. As finals got closer, I felt like there just weren't enough hours in the week to prepare and that I may need to, for the first time in 6 years, break my old minhag and do some reading over Shabbos. I asked my Rav if it was ok to read the material over Shabbos, and I expected "you shouldn't, but if you truly feel it necessary you may". Surprisingly, he gave a categorical no. I expressed my surprise, and said that while I would absolutely follow his psak, it was definitely going to be a nisayon. He said he understood and gave me a bracha that in the merit of keeping Shabbos properly, since Shabbos is a mekor bracha and we don't lose out from keeping it, I should do well on my finals. I followed the psak and did not study or even think about my impending exams over Shabbos.

Well, I just got my grades back, and they were not so fantastic. I am really upset, and wondering what happened to the mekor bracha. I lost significant study time over the 3 Shabbosim that I did not study, and it seems I was not rewarded for it. I know intellectually that this world is not a tit-for-tat, and we don't always see the rewards right away or even in our lifetimes, but I am still upset about this, especially since the Rav gave me a bracha and reassured me that I would not lose out. I guess I'm looking for chizzuk, or maybe some other explanation if you know of one...

Depressed

Fri, Jan 21 2011, 1:50 am

For one, AFAIK, you can read on Shabbos. Possibly, a man who will be immersed in Torah study all Shabbos shouldnt study secular matters, but a lady for sure is allowed to.

Aside from that, possibly your overall observance of Shabbos is lacking in other areas, aside from just not studying. Can you honestly, say you know all the Halachos of Shabbos cold... Can anyone ?

Alternatively, its a nesoyin, to see whether you will lose emuna, One thing is for sure, regardless of your grades you will as sucessful in your law career or any career you ultimately go into as , was already decided in Shomayim. So dont worry... LOL

Atali

Fri, Jan 21 2011, 11:08 am

I have two thoughts on this:

1. We do not keep halacha to get something in return. If a rav paskened that this was the halacha it is not because he lacked understanding or sympathy, but rather because that is the halacha as he understands it. Our job is to follow halacha whether we benefit or suffer as a result.

2. The only way that you could possibly know if studying the material on shabbos would have improved your grade or not would be to find someone else who is exactly like you in every way (knowledge, past experiences, etc.) and perform a controlled experiment. Because that is obviously impossible, you simply do not know how you would have done if you had studied on shabbos. Maybe you would have done better, maybe you would have done the same, or maybe you would have done worse. Success on a test does not necessarily directly correlate with the amount of time that you studied. Maybe shabbos (or the rav's bracha) did work and you would have gotten a lower grade otherwise. Who knows?

BTW, Depressed, the rav likely considered it to be hachana for after shabbos and depending on the subject it may be prohibited to learn on shabbos for other reasons as well.