If someone could do something for you...

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

Previous 1 2

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

shoshina

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 1:36 pm

The money thing is the biggest difficulty. Her parents, and my DH, have agreed that they will *not* give her money because she has not quite learned to be very responsible in her spending. They (and we) bought everything she needed for the babies while she was in the hospital, but they want her to manage on her own budget, which is quite limited, but technically still enough for a family of four. There is some help-- IL's pay the heating bill on the apartment and DH and I pay for the internet, but it is still a tight-ish budget.

None of the grocery stores in our area work on that tab system (or maybe they do and I just don't know about it) but I did find some gorgeous cuts of meat that I'm having delivered before next Shabbat instead of my usual flowers. I thought maybe there would be a way I could get her some new clothes once she needs them post-baby? Take her and the babies all for new Pesach clothes when I go to buy mine?

Basimcha

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 1:51 pm

Wow I am so impressed with the chesed you are doing!

As previous posters have mentioned, flowers is a luxury. I would rather put that money toward food or diapers.

In the supermarket where she shops, can you give x amount of dollars toward her account? This way she wouldnt feel uncomfortable knowing you did it for her.

shatzileh

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 2:56 pm

For what it's worth, I'm not so against the flowers. It sounds like you /shouldn't/ necessarily be buying her necessities. It sounds like your family agreed that she has to learn how to manage money, and spending money responsibly on things you need is one way of doing that. Flowers is something that you can do without insulting her, and (assuming she actually likes flowers Smile

) could really enhance her Shabbos and make her feel like she isn't completely deprived of everything she wants.

shoshina

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 3:22 pm

I started with the flowers because when she was first married they ALWAYS had beautiful flowers on the Shabbos table, but they decided once she became pregnant that they could save $20 a week by giving that up and wind up with about $800 in savings by the time the baby came (that was before they knew they were having twins, now they're so lucky they had that extra money aside!) After the babies came, I started buying the flowers for her so her table would look like it had before they started saving. One of her most endearing traits is how hard she works to beautify the mitzvahs especially Shabbat, so I was really happy to be helping her keep that now that she's a mother (but not on imamother or I'd have to go undercover).

A magazine subscription, nice Kosher meat delivered, I sent my cleaning lady to do eight hours by her between now and Pesach, I babysit often (practice for me!!!) what does anyone think about Pesach clothes?

Page 2 of 2

Previous 1 2