Housing for people from OOT.

amother

Wed, Mar 30 2011, 8:07 am

If you're making a bar mitzvah two weeks before pesach, what do you do with OOT guests? For example, if the guests want to come in on Thursday and leave on Monday.

Do you ask someone to host them for that long in their house?

Would you ask people based on their accommodations, or based on their situation? For example, a family who is going away for pesach, or a family with older kids, who may not have as much room, versus a family with a bunch of young kids, and/or a very pregnant woman, who may have more room.

amother

Wed, Mar 30 2011, 9:27 am

Unless someone offers for that long I wouldn't be comfortable to ask - certainly not for Sunday night too. I would maybe ask them in general some guests would like to stay a few days - how many nights would you feel commfortable with? Then get back to your guests whether you can find accomodations for that long or not. They might have to find themselves a place to stay or hotel for part of it. I can imagine people would easily offer two nights, some maybe three, but four nights close to pesach may be an offer reserved for angels.

And I don't think it matters except for who has extra rooms in their house- although I would ask people going away for y"t first. If space is tighter I would hesitate to ask especially if you need more than just friday night. Good Luck!

BYT689

Wed, Mar 30 2011, 10:34 am

I don't think it has anything to do with being close to Pesach. If the guest accommodations are separated from a family's main living space (basement or guest apartment) and guests are pretty much out of the way, then it shouldn't really matter how long they are staying. If however, people are staying in closer quarters to the host family, staying longer than just for Shabbos may be more problematic.

Tablepoetry

Wed, Mar 30 2011, 10:37 am

amother wrote:

No, I don't ask someone to host for that long. I would feel very uncomfortable. Hosting people for a few days is a real effort, and my friends and neighbours are not my personal hostel. They wouldn't dream of asking me either unless chas vechalila it was an emergency.
It's a different thing entirely if they are also part of the celebration and close family/friends. For example, you can ask a sibling or best friend to host your first cousin, if they all know each other and they're all coming to the simcha. But to ask a friend to host someone she doesn't know at all for a few days? And before Pesach? Wouldn't dream of it.

Of course, I know certain communities operate differently. I know there are places where it's considered the 'done thing' where if you go for Shabbat or yom tov you leave your keys with your neighbours so they can put their guests up at your place. I honestly just would feel extremely uncomfortable with that kind of arrangement, and I wouldn't appreciate people pressuring me.

Is there any kind of paid accomodation around your area?

amother

Wed, Mar 30 2011, 11:35 am

This exact thing happened to me! I was the one who was asked to host a few weeks before pesach. It was for a good friend of mine and she asked if I could house a family of 5 from out of town. I felt like I couldn't say no to my friend. It was originally Friday night and motzei shabbos, and then she called to tell me that they were coming in Thursday, and then called again to tell me that they were staying until Monday.

It was ridiculous because even though she asked me because I (b"h) have a lot of room, I still only have one guest room (I don't know anyone who has more than one guest room), so I was also putting people in a room that I use for a home-based business, and in my playroom. This meant that I couldn't access my work-related things (without asking permission from my guests) for almost 5 days, I couldn't clean those areas for pesach in advanced, couldn't use that room (which I usually do) to take out my pesach things, not to mention that it added a lot of clean-up (linens, towels, 5 people living, etc..) after the guests left. I was also pregnant with my 5th child at the time (my oldest was only 7) and I only had cleaning help for a few hours once a week. I almost had a nervous breakdown that year.

I know that people like to ask their close friends/family before they ask others, but people should really think before they do, especially since it's a lot harder to say no to a close friend than it it to just an acquaintance.

First of all, I don't think OOT guests can reasonably expect to be hosted for more than 2 days. Second of all, I think that people should definitely take into consideration situational things like proximity to pesach, a person's family/physical situation, etc... even more than the amount of room that one may have. Just because you have a big house, does not automatically mean that it's easier to host. Even if the person has a separate entrance, accommodating people right before pesach means that you are adding to that person's workload before pesach. Period.

I feel bad for anyone having to make a simcha before pesach, and most people are willing to do a chessed, but you have to be smart in your requests so as not to overly-burden someone.

farm

Wed, Mar 30 2011, 12:31 pm

We were put up for an OOT bar mitzvah. We arrived Thursday night and left Sunday night. Our hosts gave us their beautiful basement. The simcha hosts had an open house the entire time, from when their first guests arrived to when their last guests left. They had food available at all times, computer access with internet, toys and games, Friday night oneg and melave malka on motzei shabbos, etc. We were only at the host for sleeping. I'm sure that made it easier to deal with hosting us for an extended period of time.